Bittersweet
by Crimson lantern
Summary: Eight years later in the lives of Ed, Lily, Al, and Roy and things seem to be peaceful, but all good things are never so lasting as forever.
1. Introduction and Prologue

**A/N:** **Here it is, the sequal to Fetch. Thanks goes out to all those who read and reviewed Fetch and special thanks to my Beta Kristen for helping me with Fetch and now Bittersweet. She is also the one who wrote the introduction for me.  
**

* * *

Introduction:

"To sacrifice is to gain, and to gain is to sacrifice." This is the law of alchemy, an unbreakable standard of science, but sometimes one that applies to life. To kill or even die that others might live is among the noblest acts of love perceivable... and tragically enough causes us, those left to mourn and remember the greatest of heartbreaks…

* * *

Preface:

Lily stood in the bathroom before the vanity and mirror, staring at her reflection. All she could see was… hollowness masked by a pretty face, her father's face, her father's eyes in shape and color, his jet black hair, his fair porcelain skin. She was his shadow, his phantom.

_Phantom… _

She didn't remember…

Lily lifted her hand to her face, touching her lips faintly, leaving a thin smear of crimson blood to color them.

When it had happened… When it ended or when it began…

She didn't recognize… the person staring back at her in the mirror. Who was she?

This person, the one in the mirror did everything everyone wanted her too, played into expectations… This girl was her father's daughter in almost ever way, or tried to be because she idolized him. But should she idolize someone when she knew…

This specter should have died a long time ago locked inside a box instead of playing the game of life and hanging on so that others might be… what happy? No, they couldn't be. One person could disrupt the flow of the stream but they couldn't really correct it or make it flow easier.

Meaninglessness; lies, hiding…

Her tongue slipped passed her lips to lick away the blood there. It tasted… bittersweet, almost had a metallic tinge to it. Interesting… She was surprised it didn't make her stomach turn but it didn't and perhaps it was because it was her own.

She could feel the tiny trickle, the rolling of a scarlet stream traveling down the inside of her right thigh head for her ankle and sat upon the toilet seat, setting the small pocket knife upon the vanity counter.

Staring at the small wound, Lily wondered why it was she never felt alive unless she'd done this. Why was it she felt more alive when she inflicted pain upon herself?

Lately, no over the last few months or so this had been…

There was no excuse.

But it just felt so… It was what she could control. It was her choice. The pain she dealt upon herself and the blood that flowed from her was her release, her outlet, let her know she was really still living.

The cuts were thin and light at first, didn't leave any scars but this one she supposed might leave a little one.

No one ever had to know. It was her secret and hers alone and no one could take it from her.

The blood was nearing mid-shin now; she'd better bandage the wound or risk getting blood upon the nice white and blue bathroom.

Once she'd done that she flushed the toilet and washed her hands, washed the blade of her small pocket knife and slipped it back into her robe pocket. Then she looked back at her reflection.


	2. Chapter 1: Well that was Illegal

**Chapter One: Well that was illegal**

The thing of it was, she was pretty and she knew it. She had her father's good looks, his dark mysterious slanted eyes, his raven black hair, and his smile not to mention that damned smirk. And _damn it_, she knew how to use it all just like her father. She was sarcastic, witty in her own way, sweet, caring, charming, and _annoying_.

Over the last eight years she'd grown into a stunning young lady, well mannered, well dressed, well educated, and nearly as good an alchemist as he and Alphonse were. Then there was all the volunteer work she did at the Central City Zoo. She would be a fine prize for any young man wishing to catch her interest and sweep her off her feet and Edward Elric didn't like it one bit. Not one bit at all.

Lily Mustang, his baby sister was only fifteen, too young to have a boyfriend or even think about dating. He found himself glaring at any boy giving her a smile in the street or the market or anywhere for that matter. He glared at any boy looking like he was going to come and talk to her on the off chance they might ask her out. Al and Riza thought he was being over protective. Roy sided with him, thankfully, and Lily simple gave him a knowing smile and tolerated every bit of it, never said a word or asked him to leave her alone.

Edward had talked to her about boys but didn't dare talk sex, he shuddered at the thought of that conversation and figured Roy or Riza could handle it. They were after all their parents, it was their department. He just warned her. He even asked if she liked boys, was interested in them. She'd teased him of course but honestly admitted she did like boys but wasn't interested in dating at the time.

And now Edward wished they were younger again, during the time when Roy and Riza were first married. Those had been the best years of his life, so warm, so happy, and everyone seemed to stay in one place for weeks on end where as now it seemed they were running around like headless chickens.

He and Al were state alchemists, Roy was a Major General, Riza was a Lt. Colonel, and Lily was attending finishing school here in Central and helping out at the Zoo.

Today was the first day Edward had been home in a whole month and only Roy was home, reading in his arm chair, wearing the glasses he'd finally broken down and gotten, out of uniform. His Dad looked up and gave him a smile, setting his book aside. "Something bothering you Edward?"

"There's a white owl in the backyard on the clothes line." Ed muttered.

Roy sighed with a nod. "Yes, its wing was broken and Lily found it while you were gone."

"We have a new cat too." Ed added. It was true, aside from Al's cat, Janie, who amazingly got along with Lily's fox Logan, and Riza's dog Black Hyate, there was a calico kitten in the house. It only had three legs but seemed to get around pretty well, well enough to foul up Ed's feet when he entered his room this morning.

"An orphan she found at the animal shelter." Roy replied. "No one wanted it so she brought it home."

"And the weasel in the shed out back? That can't be good with the owl out there." Ed asked with a perked brow.

Roy smirked. "Now that I have to agree with but we tried having it in the house, it just made a mess. Apparently the Zoo didn't want it and someone donated it so they gave it to Lily."

"Uh huh, we getting a privet zoo going here?" A dog, two cats, a fox, an owl, and now a weasel, not to mention the goldfish in the small aquarium in the den, plus five people, Ed felt like this house was almost too small and it was bigger than their last. If this kept up they'd need an estate.

"I hope not, I told her one more animal and that's it, at least until we get a bigger place to live. Riza and I have been talking about it off and on." He paused. "She might get a transfer after her promotion."

Edward frowned. That was different, strange. "But they can't separate you two, you're married."

"She might resign too,"

Okay now that didn't make sense at all. His adoptive mother was career military, she loved her job, and she was her husband's right hand. "Did I miss something big while I was gone that no one cared to tell me about?" He did call, just like he'd promised so many years ago.

Roy only smiled. "Not-"

The front door slammed open and closed, cutting him short. High heeled shoes thudded upon the wooden foyer floor, the sound of a bag being dropped, a heavy sigh. It couldn't be anyone else but Lily. And just before he could get up and say hello, welcome her home, she ran passed the living room entrance and up the stairs.

"She's been doing that a lot lately." Roy muttered with annoyance. "Doesn't even bother to come say 'hello' anymore."

Edward perked a brow. That wasn't like Lily, she always said hello and he'd told her last night he'd be home today, something she couldn't wait for. Hmm… he wondered what was up.

"Might as well sit down Edward she'll not be out of her room for at least a good ten minutes." Roy sighed as Logan made his first appearance of the day.

The fox trotted up to Ed as he retook his seat upon the sofa then licked his hand when he offered it. He rather liked Logan but the fox had taken to Lily as his prime master and they'd raised him like they would a dog. He was a very faithful companion and followed Lily nearly everywhere. And he'd grown up so beautiful, a nice, sleek, soft ginger coat, white at his chin, paws, and tail. He was still very playful too.

"Hey Logan, are you a knight yet?" Ed asked.

"I haven't thought about that in years." Roy said fondly with a smile. "He must be by now."

"We'll have to ask Lily when she comes down." Ed replied, hearing the front door open again and two sets of voices echoing off the foyer walls. One was Al's and the other was male but he didn't recognize it.

"She should be home by now. I'll get her why don't you just wait in the living room, to the right." Al said.

"Thank you," The stranger replied and appeared in the arch way. It was a young man about Ed's age with dark brown hair, blue eyes, tall, lanky, wore glasses, and had a very handsome face, well dressed in a gray three piece suit. Bookworm type, Ed guessed. And the man looked a little nervous upon seeing them.

"Lily, you have a visitor." Al called up the stairs.

"Thank you," She called back. "I'll be down in a minute."

"'K," Al replied and trudged off to some other room down the hall.

Ed tried to keep the glare from his face; he really tried as he rose from his seat. "And you are?"

"Edward," Roy said softly. "Don't be rude."

"Um I-I'm Jason Mathews." The man replied. "I work in the accounting department at the Zoo."

So Ed had a name and a profession. "And how do you know my sister?"

"Ed, she volunteers at the Zoo, remember?" Roy asked and Ed could tell he was smirking, giving Ed that 'You're a moron,' look.

"_Yeah_," Ed bit. "I know that, but how does she know _him_?"

"We eat lunch together sometimes." Jason replied. "And she's helped out in accounting a few times. She's really good."

Roy rose from his chair. "Excuse us for being rude Jason, I'm Roy Mustang, Lily's father and this is Edward Elric, her older brother."

Jason nodded with a smile. "Pleased to meet you, Lily's told me about her family. You all sound very nice."

Ed secretly smiled wickedly inside at Jason's blatant tension. "_Oh really_, she's not told any of us about you. Has she Dad?"

Roy cleared his throat. "No, but that doesn't mean anything at all."

_Bullshit,_ Lily told them nearly everything and her biggest secrets she confided in him not that there were many, actually very few.

He heard Lily run down the stairs and watched her come into the living room with stern eyes. Ed looked her over once and decided she wasn't leaving the house with this boy looking like _that_. She wasn't leaving period. She'd changed into a pretty blue dress, perfectly tasteful, but one he'd never seen before. It was sleeveless and fell just below her knees. Her hair was down, and she was wearing the slightest hint of makeup, just eye shadow. While very modest to Edward it screamed 'touch me' and that wasn't something he could abide.

She smiled with a soft sigh. "Hello big brother, I didn't think you'd be home until around seven tonight."

Ed smiled pleasantly. "I caught an earlier train."

"Well I'm glad, hello Daddy; have a good day at work?"

"Fair, Lily is there something you want to tell us?" Roy replied.

Lily smirked in Mustang fashion. "Well it seems you've met Jason already, so I'll skip the introductions. We're just going to the park for a walk, to talk about the new policy being passed at the Zoo for employees, and then we're going to get dinner."

"I-I promise t-to have her home no later than eight pm." Jason offered shakily. He must have caught on that Edward didn't like this for he was giving him a wary look.

"So it _is _a date." Ed said. Damn it he knew it, he just knew it. Well he bet he knew how to stop this little problem.

"Yes, I suppose it is." She replied, "Something wrong?"

_Of course there was!_ Ed made his move, advanced upon his little sister, caught her shoulders in his hands, and pulled her closer as if he were going to give her a hug. She blinked up at him, seemingly started. "I missed you so much, how can you do this to me?" He asked, letting his hands slip up her shoulders to her neck and then her cheeks.

"Edward?" She asked with confusion. "I missed you too, but what do you mean?"

Ed could feel Jason easing away slightly and brushed Lily's bangs from her eyes. "Don't you remember Lily?" He asked. "That's okay, I forgive and I'll remind you." Then he kissed her soundly upon the lips and held her head still, not that she moved away. She did let out the softest of whimpers.

When he pulled away she had the most bewildered expression upon her face, slanted black eyes wide and blinking.

"Um I-I think I-I should g-go," Jason stuttered.

"Mm, I think you should." Ed replied, giving him an evil smile. Yes! It worked! He was hardly able to contain his glee.

"I'll walk you to the door," Lily replied softly as if she didn't know what else to do and led Jason into the foyer.

Ed grinned with satisfaction as he sat upon the sofa, glancing at Roy. His adoptive father was utterly stunned then sighed, removing his glasses from his face and sat with his forehead in his hand.

Suddenly Lily was back and leaning against the archway, arms folded at her chest, smirking. "You know Edward, incest _is_ illegal. Although we're not blood related… If you liked me that much why didn't you just say so?"

"Wow Ed… I had no idea you wanted Lily for yourself, no wonder you've been so over protective." Roy said, lifting his head. "Keep this up and all of Central will know you've got a thing for your little sister."

Edward's smile fell. Great they were tag teaming and ganging up on him _again_; he really hated it when they did that. "I do not, I was just-"

"But that kiss felt so real big brother. Why I almost couldn't breathe." Lily teased and came to sit beside him. In fact she curled up with her feet under her and her head resting upon his shoulder, arms slipping around his. "And you _did_ promise to marry me after all."

Ed was stuck and they were taking advantage of it but he knew they were only teasing. They had to be; at least he hoped they were. Roy probably was but Lily... they were pretty close and suddenly Ed had a terrible thought. Oh for the love of alchemy, when he ever going to learn?!

Lily lifted her head. "Oh calm down, I'm only teasing, but you deserve it after you scared off my date…" She grinned. "I wish you could see your face."

"I thought you weren't dating Lily." Roy said with a hint of worry.

"Well Jason's practically harmless and he was so nervous when he asked… He's nice, smart, sweet, kind, but I suppose now he won't want to talk to me." She sighed with a frown. "I wonder if that means he won't want to be friends anymore either."

Now Edward felt a slight twinge of remorse. "I'm sorry; you could explain to him that I'm just protecting you. You're too young to date."

Lily merely shrugged. "It's alright Ed. So how was the trip?"

They'd have to talk later, one on one; he decided and slipped his arm about her shoulders. He wasn't out to take her friends away and she didn't keep many, hardly any at all preferring animals to people most of the time. "Boring, I like it better when Al and I are assigned together."

"It couldn't be helped this time Edward." Roy said softly. "Anyway I'm glad you're back since I don't think your mother and I can keep our little secret a secret much longer."

Ed and Lily both gave him an expectant look. "We'll tell you at dinner," Was all Roy would give them.

"Is something wrong?" Lily asked, sitting up.

"No, we just want to talk to all three of you at once and since dinner is the only time we can seem to get all three of you in one room at one time, that's when we plan to talk."

"This about Mom's promotion?" Ed asked.

"And a few other things," Roy confirmed with a smile. "I can't tell you without her and Al."

"Daddy?" Lily asked.

"It's alright, it's nothing to worry about."

"Okay," She replied and snuggled up to Edward again. Logan leapt upon the sofa and pawed at her leg, giving her a soft whimper. She smiled and reached to pet him. "Oh Ed, I got some new pets, want to see?!"

"I saw," Ed replied. Damn was that the only thing that could get her so excited anymore, new pets and talking about animals? What ever happened to alchemy? It had to be that damned finishing school Roy enrolled her in. She used to badger him and Al incessantly about learning new alchemy before attending that school.

"You saw the kitten, weasel, and owl already? Damn, I wanted to show you myself." She pouted.

"I don't know their names." Ed gave her.

Lily smiled brightly, lighting the room up. "The owl's name, and it's a snowy owl by the way, is Wynn. The weasel's name is Gunter, and the kitten is Runa."

Better names than the goldfish had, they were Baxter and Giselle. He would have just called them simple names like Pokey and Goldie. One fish just kind of poked around and the other was more yellow than orange.

* * *

Dragging Alphonse from the home library for supper wasn't easy. He had something he was researching and didn't really want to leave but upon Lily and Ed's tugging and tricks of slight manipulation to get the book from his hand, they got him to the table.

Lily broke the soft silence before Edward had a chance too about ten minutes into the meal. "Mama, Daddy says you have something you want to discuss with us but he wouldn't say anything until you and Alphonse were here. Well, we're all here now so may we hear it now?"

Riza set her fork aside and looked toward Roy who sat at the other end of the table. She smiled softly. "Of course, as you know I am up for a promotion very soon and a possible transfer. I am planning to resign should I get a transfer. I don't wish to leave any of you and your father here for months, possibly years on end."

"I don't get it Mama, Daddy's a Major General, can't he do something to keep you here with us?"

Ed rolled his eyes and glanced at his little brother. Al had the same knowing look. Even after all these years Lily thought their Dad could do anything and everything, move mountains and walk on water. They knew it wasn't that simple even if Roy did have a sizeable amount of influence and power, even if he was good friends with the new Fuher. Hakuro had moved right on up to take Bradley's place after he'd resigned due to a scandal involving Gran and several other higher ups. It wasn't entirely on Bradley's head but to keep it quiet he agreed to resign.

"Well it seems they feel they need Riza's talents and hard work elsewhere." Roy replied with annoyance. Clearly he wasn't thrilled with the prospect of his wife being sent away from them. Edward wasn't either, he'd miss her. "And she'll need to stay here where the best doctors are."

"What's that mean?" Lily asked but to Edward she didn't seem all that surprised. Hmm… "Mommy what's wrong?"

"Roy you promised,"

"I don't think we should hide this from them. If anything they'll keep you from overworking and over taxing yourself." Roy countered sternly.

"What's going on?" Lily demanded. She had that look, the same stern one Roy had when he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Does this have something to do with your headaches?"

Edward shook his head. He didn't understand, why didn't anyone tell him about these things? "Headaches? Why is it I'm the last to know about these things?"

Riza sighed, nodding. "I've spoken with a few doctors here in Central, found one I can trust utterly. I believe you'd all remember, Dr. Hiasen."

Lily groaned softly. "Get a new one Mama, he's crazy."

Once again Ed and Al exchanged knowing looks and this time smiles. Lily hadn't liked doctors and she still didn't like Hiasen despite the fact that he really was one of the best doctors in all of Amestris.

"Poppet, I trust him," Roy replied. "He is good."

"I don't care; he'll poke and prod Mama." She protested. "He's a patronizing old fart."

"It'll be fine," Riza assured her. "Now what's this I hear about Edward scaring off your first boyfriend?"

Nice change of subject, too bad it wouldn't work, Ed mused. Lily never let them skate around something, ever. He had to agree with her this time. If Riza needed a doctor for headaches it wasn't something to be simply and vaguely discussed. It might be serious.

"Uh uh, Mommy,"

"Lily let it go." Roy chided gently. "I won't let anything bad happen to your mother, you have my word."

Lily sighed and smirked. "Big brother scared Jason Mathews off and stole my first kiss all in one shot."

Al's fork clattered to his plate. "_Brother_!"

"Well it worked," Ed shrugged. They'd be talking about Riza later tonight, no matter what, for now he'd let it rest. "He went away, there was no date. I really don't see the problem."

"Ugh, you're _sick_ you know that? I can't believe you kissed our little sister. A first kiss is special Ed, something to remember always and forever."

"Oh I'm not forgetting it." Lily said with a very evil and twisted smirk.

Roy choked upon his tea down the table. When he settled down he asked, "So Ed's that good huh?"

Ed gaped, he couldn't believe...

"How he heck should I know Daddy, I've never kissed or been kissed by anyone before, though it was rather interesting, stole _my_ breath away."

"Please tell me that was from the shock." Al pleaded.

"Probably," Lily replied.

Riza sighed. "Edward, I know how much you care for Lily but don't you think you could have found a different way of intervening... something less impulsive and rash?"

Ed shook his head. "Nope," Truth was, he'd enjoyed it more than he cared to admit. It wasn't because he wanted to date her or anything as such, he just found kissing Lily pleasant, liked her reaction, liked scaring off Mathews, and well it had been his first kiss too. He'd always thought he'd kiss Winry first but Al had snagged her, not that he minded, they were cute together. At least he and Lily would both be able to have something special between them, something they could joke about later on as time wore on.

"So you really _do_ like her?" Roy teased.

"NOT like that!" Ed snapped. Jeeze, what was with them? "Look if she's going to date someone it'll be the right someone, someone who won't hurt her and can measure up to the challenge."

"Someone _you_ approve of?" Al asked with disdain. "Then she'll never have a date and die a spinster."

"Oh no I won't." Lily injected with a little grin. "Daddy has to have some grandkids to spoil, right Daddy?"

"Not for awhile Lily, please, allow me a few years."

Ed smiled, "What afraid of getting _old_ Dad? You're what forty now? That's not old."

"Maybe not, but too young to be a grandfather and Lily's only fifteen. She should at least finish finishing school and become a state alchemist, gain a few ranks first."

"I'll make sure she does," Ed replied. If he had it his way she'd be at least twenty before she started dating and every boy who dared to look her way would have to be screened.

"Oh I bet you will brother," Al muttered. "Lily, I say wait a few years and don't let Ed bully you or anyone you want to date. You can't help who you fall in love with and who's he to step in and tell you who you can and can't. Love is special, shouldn't be tampered with."

"Wow Alphonse you've turned into a romantic," Roy said with a smile.

"I'd like to think so," Al said happily.

Lily sighed, and asked softly, "May I be excused? I have to feed the animals."

Ed looked at her plate, "But you've barely touched your dinner,"

She shrugged, "Not really hungry, you can have it." She pushed her plate toward him and turned expectant eyes toward her father.

Roy perked a brow and sighed. "Alright, make sure to take Black Hyate for a walk when you take Logan."

"I will," Lily replied rising. "I couldn't ever forget him, he's Logan's best friend, aside from me."

When she was gone Al, Riza, and Roy all exchanged worried glances and Edward, yet again felt left in the dark. For crying out loud he'd only been gone a month. "Okay now what did I miss?"

"Did you notice brother?" Al whispered from across the table. "Lily's thinner,"

Well no he really hadn't, he'd been on guard duty and boy warding. "Uh,"

"She's not really eating much any more." Al said. "And she isn't practicing Alchemy, or really doing much with school. She was in the choir but left, quit tutoring; she doesn't go out really except to the zoo and locks herself in her room most of the time. I tried to talk to her but she always changes the subject."

"Frankly Edward she won't even talk to Roy when he asks her point blank what's wrong. They had an argument a few days ago and when she says she's going to the library to study she doesn't. Havoc's tailed her a few times and she always goes to the park and just sits alone." Riza added. "It only grew worse when you left on your last mission."

"She disappears for hours on end Brother, she's even skipped school."

Ed frowned, glancing at Roy. He and Lily never fought; Roy was like a veritable god to Lily. She'd do everything and anything he ever asked her, had shadowed him for the last eight years and even confessed to Ed that she wanted to be just like him, couldn't stand to let him out of her sight ever since she'd been kidnapped, let alone disappoint him.

What they were telling him went against what she'd told him. Roy wanted her to go to finishing school, wanted her to become a great alchemist, wanted her to be well and happy. "Could it be a small phase or something?" He asked. He'd been through a few, maybe not exactly like what she was doing but a few phases where he was antisocial and wanted to be left alone for a week or two.

He waited for Roy to speak, to say anything because where Lily was concerned Roy typically had something to say, some opinion or thought. Roy removed his glasses and rested them upon the table, rubbing his face tiredly. "I don't know Edward; she won't talk to me anymore. I can't even tell if she's angry with me. I was hoping you might be able to get something out of her, find out what's bothering her. I know she tells you more things than she tells anyone else."

Ed nodded, "Okay, I'll talk to her tonight." He caught the longing and pain in his father's eyes and it was something he didn't ever want to see again. They'd all suffered through enough and found peace, prosperity, and happiness over the years, he'd figure out what was wrong with his little sister and make her happy again.

"It's like she's letting go of her goals Ed, like the things that she once strived for mean no more than spent ashes in the fireplace." Roy breathed. "That's not like her."

* * *

After dinner Ed saw Lily in the kitchen long enough for her to do the dinner dishes and while his back was turned to answer the phone, she slipped away. He searched her room, the house library, the study, the yard; he even went to the park and couldn't find her. Roy, Riza, and Al hadn't seen her since she'd come to collect the dishes and reported that she always seemed to vanish into thin air after dinner.

It might have been a few years, but Edward still remembered all the hiding places within this house and tried there. He didn't find her until after Alphonse had gone to bed and Roy and Riza were looking over some paperwork, speaking quietly in the den. Lily however, was curled up in the hide away storage closet under the stairs.

Ed smiled as he pulled the small door shut behind him and sat beside her. She wasn't in the dark, had a candle lighting the small space and a book in her lap, a pen in her hand. "Hey, so this is where you've snuck off too. I've been looking for you all evening." He paused, looking around. For some reason it seemed a lot bigger the last time he'd been in here and he didn't know if it was due to growing a few inches or if they'd simply added more things in here.

"I thought you didn't like small enclosed spaces."

Lily shrugged, closing her book. "I don't, I still hate them, but this is the only place I can hear what Mommy and Daddy talk about when they think we're all in bed asleep. Sometimes you have toface your fears to get to the truth. They don't tell us _everything_ you know."

Ed was surprised. Her tone hinted anger and if he didn't know better, loathing. He sighed, reaching for her hand. "Well they are entitled to keep some things to themselves."

Lily smirked coldly, setting her book and pen aside, moving to her knees. "Oh you mean like Mommy fainting while on duty half a dozen times, or that it's not just headaches plaguing her. That she's been really sick, vomiting a few times and they haven't reported it to the higher ups. Or that they are both scared for her? That they've been lying to us for several months, telling us everything is fine when it isn't."

Ed blinked in shock. "D-does Al know?"

Lily shook her head. "Nope,"

"So that's why you've been skipping school, avoiding everyone, and lying about where you're going, because you're upset?" He asked.

Lily looked away, falling back to her rear but she didn't reply.

"Lily,"

"We're getting a set of tigers soon, at the zoo. The female is supposedly pregnant and I was told I'd get to help when she has the cub."

Edward sighed, now she wasn't going to talk to him? That wasn't going to fly, not with him. He wouldn't let her shut him out. He tried a different approach. "So what else have you learned?"

"We might move in to a bigger house so if incase Mommy gets really bad there will be someone here to take care of her, a live in nurse. Daddy said he'd rather use the extra space for something else."

"Anything else?"

"Not really, Daddy's up for a promotion too, full General and he's not to thrilled with some of the things going on in parliament. Hakuro's mentioned making Daddy Lt. Fuher after his promotion because he's got more sense and his head about him better than anyone politically and some of his policy proposals are the best Hakuro's seen in years."

"Well that's good,"

"Yeah, Daddy's moving up." Lily muttered. "May I sleep with you tonight Ed?"

Ed nodded, slipping his arm around her shoulders. "Of course," She still hated to sleep alone and since Riza and Roy had married she'd not really been able to sleep with Roy. Ed knew she missed it but she never complained and he didn't mind her sleeping with him. She didn't kick him, barely moved at all, and never stole the covers. Also she was close when she had nightmares, close where he could soothe her and calm her down enough to sleep again. And as much as she seemed to have grown up she was still a little girl.

But something else was bothering him about her, the way she'd said Roy was moving up. Typically she'd be beaming with pride but not tonight, it was just odd. Was she still angry with Roy?

"Go on up to bed, I'll be up in a minute."

Lily nodded and picked up her book and pen, then crawled passed him and snuck up the stairs.

Edward waited a moment then decided to take action and confront their parents after a fashion, having the beginnings of a plan.

Roy looked up as he entered the den. "Find her?"

Ed nodded, pocketing his hands. "Yeah, she was under the stairs."

"The stairs?" Riza asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Edward bit. "Apparently that's the only place she can learn the truth in this house. You know lying to us isn't right or fair. It hurts and it hurts to have to hear from Lily that it's not just head aches, that mom's been fainting and really sick." He narrowed his eyes. "I won't let you do this to us."

"Edward," Riza said with a hint of fear in her eyes, fear that scared Ed enough to make him back away a step. His heart clenched inside his chest. It was that bad… they were going to lose her, he could…

"M-mom…"

She smiled, "We didn't say anything because we didn't want to worry you. I'll be alright, Ed."

She was lying, he could tell. He could see in Roy's eyes and hers, no one had that kind of fear without it being truly bad. He swallowed. He was going to lose another mother, Al and Lily were too and they needed both Riza and Roy. It… it wasn't… "_Damn it_! Just tell me what's wrong!" He shouted clenching his fists.

"Ed, please, we don't know, that's why we haven't said anything." Riza said in her stern commanding but soothing and soft way. Soft yet firm, that was Riza... unless she was pissed. "We didn't want to scare you." Then she smiled that brilliant smile he knew had taken his father's heart and held it captive. "You really think I'd let something take me away from you, Al, Lily, and Roy? You four would only get in to trouble if I weren't here to keep you all in line."

It didn't help. "Mom,"

"I promise, son, as soon as we know anything we'll talk to you three first." Roy promised softly. "You should get some sleep, you look tired."

But Edward didn't want to go to bed, he wanted to know everything, felt they were still keeping something back from him. But he knew he wouldn't get anymore from either of them tonight.

"I'll hold you to that," with that he made to turn and head up the stairs but went to the sofa and wrapped his arms around Riza's shoulders, embracing her tight. He really did need he, he'd come to depend upon her and Roy as much as he depended upon Al over the years, and Lily too. "I love you; I don't want to lose you Mom."

Riza's arms slipped around him. "I'm not going anywhere Edward and I love you too. Get some sleep."

Ed lingered a moment longer, then moved to Roy, giving him a hug before heading up the stairs to bed. Lily was already tucked in with Logan curled up at her feet and the kitten, Runa, was resting upon his pillow like she owned it.

He changed for bed then perked a brow at the kitten. "That's mine you know?"

The kitten merely yawned and lay her head down. Not happening. Ed reached down and lifted the kitten, gently placing her beside Logan, let the fox handle her, he was tired and wanted a cat free pillow.

Sighing he lay down and closed his eyes, hoping sleep would come soon and tomorrow everything would be alright. He didn't like coming home to things like this, thought they were passed all the bad things, thought they'd suffered enough and paid enough to gain happiness.


	3. Chapter 2: Stress pt one

**Chapter Two: Stress: part one  
**

Lily sat in class, staring out the window, watching the turning leaves of autumn fall in a myriad of scarlets, ochers, golds, and unbers. The wind certainly was picking up, she'd have to make sure the shed doors were closed properly this evening when she fed and spent time with Gunter the weasel.

"In 1825…" Lily's instructor's voice filtered into her bored thoughts. Yet again another lesson in history she'd already heard and learned. She wondered if Edward was still sleeping, or if he was up by now. It was after lunch.

"Lily, aren't you taking notes?" The girl, Andrea, who sat beside her asked in whispered tones. God forbid if their teacher caught them talking while she was talking, but Lily didn't care.

"No, there's no point." She muttered.

"But the exam is tomorrow," Her classmate whispered. "This exam is twenty five percent of our grade. Don't you care about that?"

"No," she replied.

"Lily," Their teacher called. "Care to enlighten us on this next passage about-"

"No, I'm not feeling so well Mrs. Kelso, may I be excused?" she interrupted.

Mrs. Kelso frowned and motioned for Lily to come forward. Lily packed up her things knowing Mrs. Kelso would let her leave no matter what she said. If the woman thought there was a chance Lily might actually be sick, she'd rather send her home so she could come back and be ready for the exam. Why the other girls hadn't figured this out, Lily didn't know.

Mrs. Kelso pulled Lily close, turning her back toward the class. "What's wrong?"

"I have a head ache and I think my breakfast didn't agree with my stomach." A little lie wouldn't do any harm and there wasn't any way for anyone to counter her on this, they weren't her and they weren't in her body so how would they know?

"Alright, make sure to study this chapter."

Lily nodded and started to leave but her teacher held on to her.

"Is there something else bothering you?"

Lily shook her head. "No," Her teacher gave her a speculative look but nodded anyway.

"Call your parents, don't walk home."

"Alright, and Mrs. Kelso,"

"Yes,"

Lily gave a half hearted smile. "The passage is about when Amestris first elected a parliament to work with a Fuher."

Mrs. Kelso smiled. "Thank you Lily,"

Lily gave her a nod then walked down the hall to a school pay phone and pretended to make a call. Then she went to her locker, shelved her books, and pulled on her coat.

The walk home was long, Central Finishing School was good three miles from home and the only advantage was that Central park was along the way. But Lily wasn't stopping at the park today; today she just wanted to go home. She didn't even really think about anything along the way, just put one foot in front of the other.

When she arrived home, Ed cornered her at the front door as she hung her coat and slipped out of her shoes. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be at school?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, could you call mom and Dad and tell them not to pick me up please."

"Sure, what's going on?"

She was so tired of questions like that. "I don't feel so well," only now it was true. Her boredom had slipped into weariness. "I'm going to go lay down for a bit."

"You didn't walk did you?" He asked.

Lily nodded. "Yeah, today Daddy has a lot of meetings."

"Yeah, but Havoc could have picked you up or you could have walked to Head Quarters at least. Someone would have brought you home. I'll make you something to eat; you left your lunch this morning."

Lily merely nodded and headed for the stairs. She wasn't hungry, she was tired. Ed would be a good twenty minutes, ten or fifteen for the phone call as she knew how their parents were, and if one of their subordinates answered the phone, they'd go and get one of them. And then Ed would no doubt stand before the ice box trying to decide what to make for lunch a good five.

When she entered her room she smiled seeing Logan curled up with Runa upon her bed. It made her happy to see something so sweet. Carefully she eased Runa over a little so she could slip into bed but the kitten put up a fuss. Logan lifted his head then got up, stretching lazily. He sniffed her hands before she scratched behind his ear. "She's getting cranky huh?"

The fox simply licked her hand and she smiled. "Alright, take care of her for me."

She waited until Logan was laying down again before slipping across the hall to Ed's room and climbing into his bed.

Roy took the phone from Havoc as the man shrugged. He was glad for the interruption. Meetings like that nearly put him to sleep and weren't terribly important. "Mustang,"

"Dad,"

"Ed, something wrong or did you just call to save me?"

Riza shot him a knowing smile before letting her hand slip to her gun.

"Actually I called for Lily. She's home and doesn't need to be picked up from school. Explain to me again why she's going to finishing school."

Roy frowned, "Is she sick and did she have enough for cab faire?"

"She said she wasn't feeling well and she walked. She said she didn't call one of you for a ride because you had meetings today."

Roy removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd never get used to having those damned nose pieces resting there, they were annoying, sometimes gave him head aches. "Then she probably didn't even have cab faire, alright. Where's Al?"

"Library,"

"Well he'll be there all day," Roy muttered. "Riza and I will be home early today. Find out what Lily wants for dinner and stay home. I don't want her there alone if she's not feeling well."

"I wasn't leaving anyway; I have to finish my report."

"Alright, bye,"

"Bye,"

Roy sighed and slipped his glasses back on as he hung up the phone. "Lily walked home from school again. I did give her cab faire this week didn't I?" He asked Riza.

Riza nodded. "Yes,"

That's what he thought. "Then why'd she walk home?" He thought out loud.

Riza shook her head. "I don't know, maybe she just thought some fresh air would do her some good." She paused. "But I do think we should leave early today, earlier than planned."

The chatter at the line of desks quieted and everyone looked to her. "Hey you okay Hawkeye?" Breda asked.

Riza smiled. "I'm fine, just worried about Lily. This makes the fifth time this month that Lily's left school."

Roy nodded. "I know, and that's not counting the times she's skipped classes. I got a call from the head master last week. Her teacher's are starting to get concerned."

"Let's go now Roy," Riza said worriedly.

Ed sat upon his bed with lunch in his hand. Lily looked like she was asleep, but sometimes that didn't mean anything, sometimes she was really awake, just resting her eyes.

He rested his hand upon her shoulder. "Hey little sister, I brought lunch."

Lily's dark eyes opened and she smiled. "Grilled cheese sandwiches?"

Ed grinned. "Yep, I thought since it's your favorite that I make, it would make you feel better."

Lily sat up and accepted the plate, but set it aside where it wouldn't get knocked over. "Thank you," Then she reached for him and hugged him tight. "I'm so glad you're home Ed."

Ed rubbed her back gently, he was glad to be home too, but worried about her, worried about Riza. "Dad said he and Mom would be home early today and wanted to know what you wanted for dinner."

Lily hung on for a moment more before picking up her lunch again. She broke half of it off and offered it to him. He smiled and accepted it. If there was one thing he cooked well it was grilled cheese. No one could make it like he could; at least that's what Lily said.

Lily shrugged. "I don't care, why are they coming home early. I hope it's not because of me." Her eyes held a guilty glow.

Ed shook his head. "Not sure, you know they're worried about you, Al too. They said you won't talk to them and had a fight with Dad. What was that about?"

Lily took a bite of her meal shrugging. After she swallowed she spoke. "There's nothing wrong with me. I wish they'd stop asking, I'm fine."

Ed perked a brow. Maybe it was the way she said it, maybe it was because they were so close, but she wasn't very convincing and he knew she was lying. "Well if there is something bothering you, you'll tell me right?"

Lily nodded but didn't say a word.

He didn't like this, there was something wrong, he could tell, really see it now. She wasn't typically this quiet and usually asked him a million questions about where he'd been and who he'd met. She did the same to Alphonse when he returned home.

"It's cold in here." She said when she was finished. "And I'm a little tired."

Ed frowned, a little offended. "You kicking me out of my own room?"

Lily smirked and placed the plate upon the bed stand, then pat the bed beside her. "No, tell me a story about your last mission,"

"You're brooding again," Riza said casually from the passenger seat.

Roy sighed, he loved his wife, he really did, but he hated it when she could read him like an open book, and she'd only gotten better at it over time.

"So, tell me what's bothering you." Riza persisted.

"Don't you know?" He asked, turning down their street.

"Most likely, but I'd rather hear it from you." She replied.

"I'm worried about you, Lily… Ed and Al seem fine at the moment."

"I'm fine," Riza said.

"Yeah, so you say. That's also what Lily's been telling us."

Riza was quiet a moment and just before he pulled into the driveway she sighed. "I think we should take her to see a doctor."

"She won't go Riza, you know that."

Riza nodded and rubbed her forehead. Roy turned the engine off and leaned across the seat to brush her golden hair from her eyes. "You alright?"

"No, not really. It's not a head ache or anything like that… It's… I'm afraid what's happening to me is affecting her and she's too much like you not to see that something wrong and to sniff it out. You heard Edward, he found her under the stairs and I can't help but wonder how much she knows, how much she might have misunderstood and such."

Roy nodded; he was worried of the same thing.

"But I also think something else is wrong. Before I started getting sick she began to slip. I thought at first maybe she was just going through a phase of slight rebellion but she always does what we ask her too. I can't make sense of it Roy. I want to say she's just looking for attention and that would be logical, reasonable. We work so much, Ed and Al are gone often, but she hasn't done anything positive or really negative that most children her age would do other than leaving school and skipping classes. She's not really acting out, just losing interest in things."

Roy had had the same thoughts and didn't know what to say. "I'll talk with her tonight, see what's wrong."

"But you tried to ask and you ended up fighting with her. I have no idea what to do. I just wish she'd talk to us, to me, to you, someone, anyone."

"Edward's on it." Roy said softly. Though he'd rather be the one Lily confided in. He hated this barrier she'd placed between them. She'd say almost anything but never what was wrong with her, what was bothering her… "I wonder if…"

"What?" Riza asked.

"It's nothing; I'll look in to it. Let go inside." He leaned close and sought her lips for a kiss. She smiled a little smile and gave it to him before they went inside.

"You're home early Daddy," Lily said softly as he found her and Edward in Ed's room, Lily lying down, and Edward sitting beside her.

Roy gave her a shrug. "I heard you weren't feeling well. Riza and I decided to come home." He paused, turning his attention to Edward. "Could I speak with her?"

Ed nodded and left his room, closing the door quietly. Roy waited until he could hear Edward's feet hitting the stairs. Then he sat upon the bed. "What's wrong Poppet?"

Lily turned upon her side and reached for his hand. "Nothing Daddy, just don't feel so well. I'm a little tired, my stomach's not being so nice today, but other than that I'm fine. How are you?"

He squeezed her hand gently, warmly. "Worried about you,"

"Don't be, I'm alright."

"You walked home again today. That's a bit far Poppet, I don't like you walking so far if you're not feeling well."

"I was okay, besides the walk was nice. I like this time of year, it's so pretty out. The leaves are turning; the wind feels nice on my face." She smirked. "And you don't like me walking a mile if I'm alone Daddy."

Roy smiled with a slight nod, she had him there. It had been hard to let her go places alone, let her stay home alone after that nightmare, but she's was older now, could defend herself better. Edward had seen to that personally, taught her how to hit and kick people where it would do the most harm.

Just as he was going to lay down with her, try a different method of getting information, Lily moved closer and sat up, resting her head upon his shoulder. "Where's Mama?"

"Down stairs,"

"Is she okay today?"

"Yes," He replied. There was a brief silence before he spoke again. "Lily, I got a call from Head Master Ludlam not too long ago. He tells me that you've been missing classes or skipping school. Mind telling me what that's all about? I'm not angry, just curious."

Lily shrugged. "I don't know,"

Closing his eyes out of frustration, Roy stilled himself. He hated that answer because he'd heard it too often from Edward and more often than naught from her. It wasn't really an answer. "I don't believe that Poppet, you're going to have to do better."

"I don't think you'd like any answer I have Daddy,"

Her tone was cold and disconnected and it stung in a way he couldn't describe. "Whether or not I will like it isn't important, I need to know."

Lily pulled away rubbed her forehead. "Don't you have more important things to worry about right now? I'm fine really and a few missed days of school isn't that big of a deal Daddy. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

More important things to worry about?! That question hurt more than anything else. "There isn't anything more important than you Lily, not to me. Maybe when you have kids of your own you'll understand what that means."

"Who you should be focusing on is Mama, Daddy, not me. I know she's sick and I know-" Roy covered her mouth with his hand.

"I worry about everyone in this house, it's my right, my privilege, and I do it because I love each member of this family more than my own life." There was a flash of pain so vivid in her black eyes that frightened him, troubled him so much he removed his hand and clasped her shoulders. "Sweetie what's wrong?!"

Lily turned her face. "Nothing Daddy,"

Roy shook his head and lifted one hand from her shoulder to turn her face so he could see her slanted eyes again. "No, baby why did you look at me like that?"

Lily pushed his hands away and launched herself at him, her arms slipping about his waist as she buried her face in his uniform jacket. "I love you so much Daddy."

Roy couldn't hold back from embracing his little girl, he'd never be able too in a million years or ever for that matter. He kissed the top of her head and pet her hair gently. "I love you too Poppet. What's wrong, hmm?"

"I-I'm just tired. I've been tired for awhile and can't shake it away."

He frowned. That didn't sound like her at all, but maybe she'd been a good actress and been hiding it from all of them and was just too worn to do it anymore. He'd had a few moments in time when he'd been the same way.

Gently he pushed her back and felt her forehead, she did feel warm, a little too warm for his liking, and she was a bit pale. "Okay, tomorrow I'll take you to see Dr. Hiasen," He shook his head as she glared and began to protest. "No, you're going. We'll not have a repeat of eight years ago Poppet. I don't ever want to come that close to losing you again. So, until then what would you like for dinner?"

"Mama's chicken and mashed potatoes, it's Al's favorite."

"Green beans as well I assume?" He asked with a smile. He knew it was Al's favorite; Al beamed when ever he smelled it upon entering the house, and always asked for it as apposed to going out for his birthday. There was something Riza did differently to the chicken and she wouldn't spill her secret, not even to him. She did however promise to tell Lily someday.

Lily nodded and Roy eased her back in the bed gently. "Alright, I'll tell her." He tucked her in and brushed her bangs from her eyes then frowned. "Why are you in Ed's bed?"

Lily smiled the smile that lit the room up, the one that always made his heart sing. "Runa got fussy when I tried to move her over in my bed and Logan decided he wasn't going to help me. It's okay; she can stay there if she wants."

Roy rolled his eyes. "That damned cat has a cat bed of her own, I made it myself."

"She sleeps in it… occasionally. She just likes to be with Logan and he sleeps on my bed, always has."

Roy sighed softly. That was true and he was glad for it. Sometimes he thought Logan a better guard dog than Black Hyate since Logan usually barked before the dog did when he sensed trouble, not that there had been any. Black Hyate seemed to think the mail man and paper boy were enemy number one, where as Logan didn't take to strangers until they'd come to the house or he'd seen them at least three or four times. It was just… well it was damned odd.

Edward looked up from the sofa as Roy came into the living room. "So?"

Roy shrugged and pocketed one hand. "She's not feeling well, tired, and she might be running a temperature."

Ed perked a brow, he'd never understood that phrase, but it didn't matter. "'K, Mom's in the kitchen. I'm going to head up to the library and drag Alphonse home."

Roy smiled. "You do that, tell him I said leave the research and spend some time with us."

Ed paused as he got up from the sofa. "Uh, yeah, what did you have in mind?"

Roy shook his head. "I don't know,"

"Sure," Ed replied the hesitated, glancing back toward the kitchen. "You know anything more about Mom?"

His father shook his head. "No, she doesn't have another appointment for a few days. Oh and would you mind coming with me and your sister to see Dr. Hiasen tomorrow?"

That couldn't be good, no that wouldn't be good. If he knew one thing at all about his little sister, it was that she really hated going to the infirmary more than anything, even milk. Some of the instruments scared her, she'd told him as much, even if they were harmless. She hated the smell, and the walls, the beds… But he knew Roy would need his help to drag Lily out of bed and get her there. It was like that every year when they took her in for her check up.

He smiled snickered. "I'll threaten her out of bed if I have too." After all it would be great pay back for his last auto-mail check up with Winry. Lily had teased him about growing and having to get adjustments done. She'd said if he'd just stay short then none of this would happen. Damn her, she wasn't even done growing and according to Hiasen, he was at the end of his growing period. She just might end up being taller than he was.

Roy perked a brow. "I don't think I even want to know, go get your brother."

Ed grinned and hurried out the door.

Al sighed as he dried the dinner dishes and put them away. Behind him Lily sat upon the floor petting Runa while she ate her dinner of kitten food and kept his cat Janie away from it. Maybe Ed was right, maybe he'd not spent enough time here at home. He'd just been so busy with his project lately he'd let himself become nearly obsessed with it and spent a good deal of his days in the 1st branch library and evenings going over his notes here at home.

He turned. "Lily,"

She smiled as she looked up at him. "Yes big brother,"

"What are you doing tomorrow after school or no, when exactly is your lunch hour?" he asked.

Lily sighed. "I'm not going to school tomorrow," her slanted eyes narrowed. "Daddy's making me go see Dr. Hiasen."

Alphonse frowned. "Uh why, are you sick?"

"I don't feel sick."

"Huh, strange. Well then…" He trailed off in thought. "I know, let me finish the dishes."

"Uh okay," she replied.

Al hurried as fast and as carefully as he could. He knew the perfect thing, it was something they'd never done before and he bet she'd enjoy it. She and Ed had so many things that was just their's to do together. He and Lily had chess games and watching the clouds go by, taking walks in the park and at the zoo, but adding one more thing couldn't hurt.

He smiled as he finished just as Runa finished her dinner. He leaned over and offered his hand. "Come on,"

She took his hand without question and followed him to the back door. He took down her black sweater as it was a bit chilly out tonight and he didn't want her to catch cold. She'd not gone out this evening to feed the owl and weasel, Roy had done that for her though she'd said she was more than capable of doing so.

Quietly, guessing Roy didn't want her out in the crisp night air, Al snuck her out upon the deck and closed the door. He put his finger over his lips and shook his head when she began to speak. Then he led her to the end of the deck. He could hear the owl calling out into the early, clear night sky. It was kind of strange Lily didn't like birds but she'd taken in the snowy owl…

He motioned for her to take a seat upon the stairs and joined her as she wrapped her sweater tighter around her. He pointed up at the dulled by city lights, twinkling sky. This would be better in Resembool, less light pollution, but it was good enough for now. "Look, think we can find any chickens in the stars?"

Lily giggled and nodded. "Or rats or puppies. We haven't done that in so long, we should some afternoon."

"We will," He promised and took her hand, surprised to find it trembling and so cold. "I'm sorry I haven't been-"

"Oh shut up Alphonse. I know you're busy with your work and that it's important. I get to see you every morning and every evening, and I get to talk to you a little then. It's enough for me just to know you're here," She leaned in close to bump against his shoulder. "And I always know where to find you unless you're on a mission for the state, but then I always know you're coming home. You're not nearly as reckless as Ed."

Al snorted, "No, I'm not. We'll still spend more time together, we don't do it enough, not like we used too and I miss it."

"Mm, me too," She pointed to a cluster of stars. "There's a cow."

Al laughed softly. "No, it's a pig."

"Or Ed when he's eaten too much."

When Al's laughter subsided, he wiped the tears from his eyes. "You'd better not let him hear you say that."

"I don't know what you mean, I didn't say anything at all." She replied. Even to Al, after all these years, he could still see so much of their father in her, though that last comment had more of her own twist too it.

He sighed and they picked out more constellations for a little bit, but they soon fell quiet just content to enjoy the night together.

Al bit his lower lip and took a deep breath, remembering there was something important he'd wanted to ask her and tell her about. "Do you like Winry?"

"Now that's a really stupid question big brother, of course I like her. She tortures Ed."

Al didn't even have to look at her to know she was grinning wickedly. But he didn't smile. "No, I mean, do you like her?"

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, she and I have been talking and she might move here to Central, start her own branch of Rockbell Auto-mail. We talked about…"

Lily poked his shoulder. "Go on,"

"We talked about living together."

"And?"

This was so hard. He wouldn't have any trouble telling their parents, but Lily and Edward…"Getting married, it won't be for awhile and-"

Lily covered his mouth with her hand. "Alphonse, you're rambling." She smiled and slowly removed her hand then hugged him. "I'm so happy for you and I'd be ecstatic to call Winry my big sister."

Al let out a sigh of relief and hugged her back. "Thank you Lily," he paused. "But there's more."

"Okay," she didn't let go.

"I was thinking about taking some leave and going to stay with her and aunt Pinako for a week or two, maybe three, you know to get the plans for the wedding started, help her pack. I've been looking for an apartment here in Central. I'm going to move out."

"I know, it's to be expected." Lily whispered and hugged him tighter.

"I'll still come home and visit and you're more than welcome to come and stay with us if you want."

"Big brother, I'll come and visit and I'll help with Edward. I'm just so excited, you're planning on having kids right? I can baby sit?"

Alphonse chuckled and pat her back gently. "Of course, it might be awhile before any kids happen." This was going a lot better than he thought it would. He'd half expected her to be upset and take this as him abandoning her. For that reason he'd put off telling her for a month.

He pulled away. "It's getting late, we should go inside."

"Okay," She smiled and hugged him again. "I'll come visit you, a lot."


	4. Chapter 2 Stress part 2

**PART TWO:**

Edward poked his head into Lily's room the next morning and snickered. She was sleeping upon her stomach, a perfect target. Slowly, softly, he tip toed then pounced upon her.

Lily groaned and tried to throw him off. "I'm gonna kill you Ed."

Ed snickered into her shoulder blades. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Ugh, because Al is never so mean."

"I'm mean?" Ed asked, lifting his head but not his body.

"Get off,"

"I'll show you mean." He huffed, pretending to be offended and began to tickle her ribs. This would get her out of bed and awake faster than anything and what was better, she really hated this. She was giggling instantly.

"S-st-stop…E-ed. Please." She gasped for air between a giggle. "I-I'll…do…wh-whate-ever you want!"

"What ever I want?" he asked, pausing his mischievous fingers.

"Y-yes," She panted.

"Even get up and go to the doctor?" He asked.

"I knew it, you and Daddy are conspiring against me."

"Well?"

"Anything but that."

"Okay," Ed replied and began to tickle her again and it became an all out tickle fest complete with her screaming for Al and Roy to come save her. Knowing ahead of time that their dad was keeping Al back and would come himself, Ed continued without mercy.

"Can't…b-b-breathe!"

"If you can giggle and talk you can breathe." He replied with a chuckle of his own. He wondered if someone could die laughing like this.

"E-ED!"

"Hmm?" he asked.

"I-I'll do anything you want!" She yelled in between giggles.

"Even go to the doctor?"

She nodded.

"Promise?"

She nodded.

"Say it,"

"I promise,"

He nodded and let go of her, slipped from her body and sat up, scratching the base of his ponytail.

Slowly her ragged breathing slowed to an even pace and she sat up, glaring for all she was worth. It was so cute, just like when she was little and if he didn't get the hell away from her and fast she'd chop him up into little bits and feed him to the animals.

As it stood, he made it into the safety of the bathroom down the hall before she could reach him. "I'm going to kill you Edward Elric, make no mistake about that. It could be today or it could be tomorrow or next month but I'll get you." She growled through the locked door.

"Yeah yeah, hurry up and get ready to go." He replied.

If Roy thought the morning would go by well he was sadly mistaken. Lily's irritation… or was flat out fury a better term, was so thick in the air a small sick child of another officer visiting the infirmary for a check up cowered away from her, hiding his face behind his father's body.

"Lily,"

"What?!" She snapped quietly.

_Good grief_, he thought. "You know you could smile, you're scaring people."

She did smile but it was rather twisted and scary, as if she were some maniacal psycho plotting world domination and brutal murder of he and Edward. "Never mind," he said quickly.

"This place smells bad." She muttered. Roy had to agree, he was growing sick of the smell of the infirmary, he'd been here too often and he already hated the place before Riza began fainting and having headaches.

"It's the disinfectant," Ed replied.

"Shut up, I'm not speaking to you remember?"

Ed sighed. "That hurts,"

"Good, but your hurt has only just begun."

"Miss. Mustang," Dr. Hiasen said with a smile. "It's nice to see you again. Come with me please."

Roy felt Lily's hand latch onto his arm. "Want me to come with you?" He asked.

She nodded, her anger diminishing slightly, noir eyes turning pleading, scared.

He smiled and rose with her, leading her along toward the small room. She seemed reluctant to speak when Dr. Hiasen began to ask questions, but she answered none the less. And Roy answered the questions he was asked, even the ones that made Lily wince, like her eating habits.

Hiasen took her temperature, checked her blood pressure, all that song and dance, and wrote in her file. "Alright, now what have you been up too lately?"

Even Roy frowned at the question.

Lily sighed. "What's that got to do with anything?"

Hiasen smiled. "I'm just getting all my ducks in a row, humor me."

Lily listed off all the things she'd been doing lately as if it were an itinerary and she were bored.

"Mm, thank you." He let out a deep tired sigh as she reviewed his notes. "I'd like you to stay home from the zoo and from school for a few days Lily. Just get some rest and try not too do anything to strenuous."

"You mean like laze about in bed all day?" Lily asked.

"Well that's one way to put it, yes." Hiasen replied.

"You mean no homework, just do what I want?" She asked.

Hiasen looked up from her file and glanced at Roy. Even Roy found this a little odd; he'd thought she liked doing her homework. Wait a second, she was a kid, and no kid liked homework. He smiled and rested his hand upon her shoulder. "I think that's what he's getting at Poppet. Does that sound like a plan?"

Lily shook her head. "No, it doesn't. I don't want to stay at home all day, doing nothing and if I can do what I want, I want to…" She trailed off and pulled her sweater tighter around her.

"What?" Roy asked softly. If there was something she wanted she only had to name it.

"It's nothing," She replied with a smile. "It's silly actually. So may I go now?"

Roy shook his head. "So this is just stress then?" He asked Hiasen. Hiasen nodded. "Alright, and she can go?" Again he got a nod. Lily was more than ready to bolt from the room and to the car, but Roy caught a hold of her arm to slow her down. He waited until Dr. Hiasen was gone and the door to the room closed.

"What do you want to do Lily?"

She smirked. "You mean other than get back at Ed?"

He nodded and was beginning to feel like one of those toys that had bobbling heads.

Lily shrugged. "Go on a date, there's plenty of boys here in Central," She lifted her hand and looked at her nails. "And I'm very cute."

She was kidding right? Well she was cute, she was beautiful and that was more than just fatherly thought, she really was pretty, she was his daughter after all. But she couldn't be serious about dating, not yet, she was still a baby. "Well what if I said I wasn't ready to give you up?"

Lily beamed and threw her arms around his neck. "Really Daddy?"

He held her back. "Well I'm not. You're my little girl." He felt her stiffen slightly, felt a change in her body and frowned.

"Can I be your little girl forever?" Her voice was so soft, hinting fear. He didn't know what that meant and it worried him a little.

"Always," and as soon as the word left his lips she snuggled closer.

"I'm kind of tired. Would it be alright if I took a nap when we got home?"

Roy kissed her head, lingering a moment. She'd hidden this so well, he'd thought she was perfectly fine this morning but maybe that was just her irritation with her brother getting in the way. He had to wonder what else she was hiding. He got the distinct feeling that she wasn't just hiding stress, but a myriad of other things, things she didn't want to talk about. With her last question, he had to wonder if maybe some of what had bothered her as a child was still tormenting her.

"Of course."

Roy made sure Lily was in bed and resting before he left for the office. As soon as he walked in Riza looked up expectantly, even his staff looked up. "What did Dr. Hiasen say?" she asked.

Roy went to his seat and sat, removing his glasses. "Stress, he wants her to stay home and rest for the next few days."

"Stress, that's all. What about the fever?"

Roy shrugged. "Guess that's a result of it, he didn't say, but he didn't say she had a cold or anything of the sort either."

Havoc put out his cigarette. "Mind if I drop by and visit her?"

"I'll come too," Fury said quickly.

Roy shrugged. "I don't have any objections, Riza?"

Riza smiled. "I think Lily would enjoy seeing you, it's been awhile since she's seen any of you or been up here."

"And she'll probably want to show you her new pets." Roy added, wondering if he should call Maes and see if Elicia could come over to stay the night on the weekend. That might help a little. Lily always enjoyed seeing Elicia, playing with her and since they were both in school at the moment they didn't really spend too much time together.

"Yeah," Havoc said rubbing the back of his neck. "How'd she manage to get a weasel again?"


	5. Chapter 3: Shock

**Chapter Three: Shock**

The next morning Roy donned his black coat after seeing the frost covering the front yard and waited patiently for Riza at the front door. He was surprised to see Lily approaching and reaching for her coat as well. "Where are you headed this morning?" He asked.

Lily pulled her coat on. "I'm coming with you."

He frowned and helped her pull her long black hair from under the neck line of her coat. "You're supposed to rest,"

"I intend too," She replied as Edward came running down the stairs. He looked ready to leave as well and not two seconds later Al appeared handing them both books.

"Thank you," Lily said softly.

"Are you all coming in today?" He asked.

All three of them looked at him with a smile and nodded. Well this would be different, nice, they'd not all come to work with he and Riza in such a long time. He wondered if Lily would want to sit in his lap and help him with his paperwork again.

Riza seemed to like the idea of them coming along and they arrived at head quarters in no time at all. All three of their children took up residence upon one of the sofa's, whispering quietly before settling down to read. No one bothered them once hellos were said and work commenced as usual.

About mid morning Lily left the company of her brothers who had begun an alchemic discussion and pulled up a chair beside him. "Don't want to get in on the discussion?" He asked softly.

Lily shook her head and sighed, lifting an expense report. "Do you really have to read this?" She asked quietly, skimming the page.

Roy nodded. "Yes,"

She sighed again. "Looks terribly boring, what about the proposals you've made?"

When had she… He nearly rolled his eyes. She had been hiding under the stairs. "You know Ed's spilled your hiding spot, I'll have to look there from now on to make sure you're not eavesdropping."

Lily smirked. "I'll just find another,"

"I bet you will," He sighed. "I don't have any here. They are either with Fuher Hakuro or at home in the study."

"May I see some of them?" she asked.

He nodded, of course he'd show her if she was interested. The very fact that she'd mentioned them and asked to see them gave him hope that not all of her goals and ambitions were lost.

Lily gave him a soft smile as she set the report back upon his desk and began to run her finger absently over a folder, staring off into space then lay her head down, closing her eyes.

"Are you bored, would you like something to do?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm okay,"

He watched her a moment then brushed her hair from her eyes and got back to work.

After some time Alphonse cleared his throat and Lily lifted her head with a yawn and a lazy stretch then rested her elbows upon Roy's desk.

"I have an announcement to make," Al said nervously.

Lily sat up quickly and glanced at Edward, giving Roy the impression that she knew what was going on where as the rest of them didn't and was watching Edward to make sure he didn't get out of control for some reason.

"What's up?" Havoc asked leaning back in his desk chair.

Al set his book aside and met Lily's eyes before Roy's then Riza's and finally Edward's.

Ed frowned, setting his book aside and giving Alphonse his full attention, making Al jump slightly. He smiled though, "What's got you so twitchy?"

"I'm going to need about a week or two of leave Dad," Al said with the same nervousness. "I'm going to Resembool, to see Winry…"

Roy perked a brow and sat back in his chair. "That's fine, take it." Why going to Resembool to see his girlfriend would make him nervous he had no clue.

"She's coming back with me and we're going to live together, I found an apartment." Al continued.

Now that could be it, Roy thought and he could see where this was leading. "You don't have to move out Alphonse."

Al swallowed. "Well, it's not just that. She'll need room for her things and she wants to start a branch of Rockbell Auto-mail here in Central since I'm still working for the State."

Roy glanced at Edward; his eldest son seemed blank for once, just stared up at Alphonse with no hint of emotion, seeming to want to hear his little brother out.

"You're both more than welcome to stay with us as long as you need Alphonse, getting a business up and running takes time." Riza said softly, with a smile. "We can make all the room you need and she's more than welcome."

Al smiled a little. "Well there's something else too, I asked her to marry me."

Havoc's cigarette fell from his mouth and Breda, who was leaning back in his chair fell back upon the floor with a loud crash. "Are you serious?!" Havoc asked excitedly.

Al nodded.

"Hey congratulations!" Havoc replied as Falman helped Breda up and set his chair right.

"That's great Al," Fury said with a beaming smile.

Riza and Falman were smiling and passing on their congratulations as well.

"Seriously Al, you're really getting married?" Breda asked.

Al nodded and looked to Roy. Roy could only smile, he was happy for Al, happy for Winry as well. "When are you leaving?"

Alphonse glanced at Edward who hadn't said a word. "This Saturday morning." He turned to Edward, "Ed?"

Ed blinked a moment. "Yeah,"

"You'll be my best man right?" Al asked hopefully.

Ed nodded and smiled slightly. "Of course I will,"

Al beamed and sighed in relief. "Thank you,"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ed asked suddenly and seemed a little hurt.

Al's smile faded. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh," Ed smiled then punched his brother's shoulder softly. "Well good luck, she's nuts."

Al's smile returned. "Thanks, and she's not that bad."

Roy turned his attention to Lily as it seemed the Edward blowing up crisis wasn't going to happen. She sat with a smile and nodded to Al. He knew it, she had known.

"Why don't you three go get some lunch, Riza and I have a meeting in a few minutes to attend." He suggested, hoping that the three would take up on in and go chatter else where for a little bit and let everyone else work. When they returned it would give them all a nice break from working to further discuss it then.

Ed was the first up and led the way for his siblings.

When they were gone Roy sighed. "Well, that was interesting."

"I can't believe Al's getting married before Ed," Fury said. "I always thought he'd marry first."

"Yeah," Breda replied. "But Ed doesn't even have a girlfriend."

"That's because he's too busy kissing his sister," Havoc chuckled.

"What?!" Breda yelped. "Ed kissed Lily, you're kidding. When?"

"Roy Mustang you swore you wouldn't tell anyone." Riza scolded.

Roy merely shrugged. "I only told Havoc and Maes."

Havoc chuckled. "It was to scare away some guy she works with at the zoo."

"Is that true?" Fury asked looking to Roy for confirmation.

"I saw it with my own two eyes," Roy replied.

"And none of you are going to tell a soul or mention it to either of them." Riza commanded.

* * *

Lily watched as Ed poked absently at his lunch of meatloaf and mashed potatoes. In the office she knew there was going to be a problem, knew Edward was upset, knew he was hurting.

"I spoke with Winry this morning Lily," Al said softly, cautiously. Apparently he could read Ed as well as she could at the moment. It wasn't always so easy, Ed often threw them curve balls..

Lily gave Al a smile. "How is she?"

"She's doing well. She asked me to ask you something important."

Ed shifted in his seat and reached for his glass of water. "What?" Lily asked.

"She asked me to ask you if you'd be her maid of honor. She wanted to ask herself but she wants to start on the plans right away. It would mean a lot to her."

Lily couldn't help the bright smile that graced her face or the slight blush. "I would like that very much. Tell her I said thank you, for considering me."

Al nodded. "I will,"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ed interrupted. "I know you and she would have been planning this for sometime, so why not tell me?"

Al and Lily's smiles faded. "Brother, I just did today."

"You usually tell me everything first…" Ed trailed off and sighed shaking his head. "I'm happy for you Al, I really am."

"I was nervous…" Al said softly. "This is a big thing and we've been through everything together… I…"

Ed lifted his head. "You what?"

"Big brother," Lily said softly.

"I was worried you'd be upset with me." Al replied meeting Ed eyes.

Lily looked from one to the other. There was a need between them she'd never really seen before, Al's need for Ed to approve and bless this and Ed's need to be confided in, to be needed. She… her heart fell. No matter what happened or how close she was or continued to grow to either of them, she'd never see that. She'd never have that, not truly. What Ed and Al had was between them and she could never break into that and feel that warmth upon her face.

"Why would you think that?" Ed bit. "It's silly,"

"So you're really okay with this?" Al asked.

Ed nodded and lightly shoved Al's shoulder. "Of course I am, I just hate being the last to know everything that's going on with you and everyone else in this family. How am I supposed to keep things together for us if no one informs me of anything?" He paused. "Hey if Lily's to be the maid of honor and I'm to be the best man, doesn't that mean we're supposed to have dates to this thing?"

Al shrugged. "I don't know we've never been to a wedding except Roy and Riza's. Maes and Gracia were already married."

Lily, with her finishing school knowledge, spoke up. "Yes we are."

Ed frowned. "Well I'm not letting you go with just anyone."

Al rolled his eyes. "Ed,"

"Then you be my date big brother." She said firmly. That would shut Ed up and keep them all from the head ache later on, also make things easier upon Alphonse and Winry.

Ed shrugged. "Sure, works for me."

She smirked. "I thought it would." Her smirk faded as they began to talk about possible ideal locations for such an event. She began to focus upon her lunch and other things when Ed slammed his hand upon the table.

Lily casually lifted her dark eyes to his. "What?"

"So that school you're going to, it's got to be teaching you something about this sort of stuff, help us out here." Ed replied.

Lily perked a brow. The school was teaching her how to be a proper lady and preparing her to look for a good upstanding husband, how to be a proper house wife and such, but wedding locations, no, not that she'd have paid too much attention if they had.

"Shouldn't you wait until Winry is here and take her for a small tour around town and let her pick? Supposedly a wedding is to be the most important and special day of a woman's life." It had sounded like bull shit to her when she'd heard it the first few times at that damned school. She did think a wedding day would be important and special but not the most important and special day.

Ed blew his bangs from his eyes and sat back crossing his arms over his chest. "What's eating you?"

"Nothing is eating me but I am eating lunch." She replied with a slight smirk.

"Smart ass," Ed muttered. "So is that going to be the most-

"No, I don't know what the most important day of my life will be, or the most special, it could be that I've already had it." She gave both of them a smile.

Alphonse reciprocated her smile.

"We should get back," Ed said with a shrug. "I want to know more about this quack school Dad's put you in. Sounds like they're filling your head with nonsense because you certainly wouldn't have gotten any of that from us. No offense Al, but I think there are more important and special things to look forward to other than a five to ten minute ceremony and a reception following."

"Well we know where you priorities lie," Al sighed.

Lily rolled her eyes as she trailed behind her brothers to deposit their trays at the kitchen window then headed back to the main building.

Lily ignored most of Ed's annoying questions about what they were teaching her in Central Finishing School along the way and focused upon the path before them. She didn't know why he was so interested in the place anyway; it was just a school, nothing more. It was just a place her father thought she should go so she went.

When they reached the office of their parents Ed was in the middle of a sibling argument with Alphonse about what exactly now Lily wasn't so sure, she'd lost track when the subject matter jumped so many times. It was a little exhausting and nerve wracking.

Their father looked up from his news paper with a perked brow and she simply shrugged and made her way over to her seat beside him as Ed and Al sat upon the sofa.

"Give it up Ed, you're never going to win," she sighed.

"Hey who asked you?" Ed retorted.

"No one, but then no one ever does." She replied earning a startled look from Roy.

Ed waved her off and went back to his bickering with Alphonse. Lily rolled her eyes with a slight smirk as she lay head down.

"Are you getting tired?" Roy asked quietly.

"Mm, a little,"

"Lily," Riza called from the line of desks.

Lily lifted her head and waited for her mother to speak, covering a yawn with her hand. Riza smiled and rose from her seat but the smile faded all too quickly and the next thing Lily knew her mother had hit the floor with a resounding thud, chairs had been knocked over in nearly everyone's attempts to catch her.

"Mama!" She gasped as fear filled her very soul to a point that was so terrifying and startling she didn't know what to do with herself. She hadn't know when she'd stood, hadn't registered it and everyone was crowding around Riza, her father lifting her from the floor and ordering Ed and Al to move.

Lily had only heard of her mother's fainting spells, never actually seen them and it was… was too much. Everything seemed to blur over. The slightly foggy glass she'd been looking through as of late frosted over in a harsh concrete reality and began to crack, distorting everything she once knew to be solid and strong.

But she couldn't go near her mother, couldn't get near everyone. She was too afraid and found herself backing away until she couldn't anymore as she was pressed against the cold wall.

She didn't know how or when but soon felt someone resting their hands upon her shoulders and heard a calm voice. "Lily, Lily look at me." It was an order.

Lily blinked and found her father's eyes staring back at her with apprehension.

"It's alright," He motioned behind him to where Riza was sitting up and conscious, giving her a look of concern and a silent message that she was alright.

Lily didn't believe her or her father and pushed his hands away. _Liars_. Why couldn't they… ever tell her the truth?!

"See she's alright now, it's nothing to worry about. Riza's just tired, stressed, like you are." Her father said calmly, reassuringly.

Lily gave him a look of disbelief and lifted her chin, giving him a worried smile. She could play this game as well. She glanced toward Riza, "Are you hurt from the fall?"

Riza shook her head, "Nothing serious, just a bump to my shoulder."

At least _that_ had been an honest reply.

Lily nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad that was all Mama,"

"Are you alright?" Riza asked. "Maybe you should sit down, come here," She patted the sofa cushion beside her.

Lily hesitated but sat beside Riza, but she didn't dare touch her, afraid she might break. She had to get out of this room, away from all of these eyes upon her; she could feel them like one could feel a spider crawling across their skin in their sleep. "I'm just a little startled,"

Riza nodded and reached for her hand but Lily pulled away. Riza's eyes spoke of the small wound Lily had inflicted in denying her touch but Lily couldn't handle her touch at the moment. "I'm sorry Lily; I didn't want you to ever have to see that."

She nodded. "It's alright, have you eaten since breakfast?"

Riza shook her head. "No,"

"You should," Lily replied quickly. "I'll go get you something," And with that she was out of the office and hurrying along her escape path, finding a bathroom on the level below.

She locked the door and pushed into a stall after checking to see if she was alone. She was and lowered the lid upon the toilet, sitting, lifting the hem of her skirt, and digging into her sweater pocket for her pocket knife. Carefully she opened the knife and pressed it to the inside of her leg and cut.

One pain to replace another, one she could inflict and end at will, one she could control.

Lily sat there for a bit, letting the blood ooze from the wound, watching it just for a little while. Then she left the stall, careful of her dress and found the first aid kit mounted upon the wall. Taking care of the wound quickly, she then made sure clean up the few drops of her blood that stained the gray tile floor.

Once she was sure everything was in order she made way to the mess hall quickly, swiped a tray and hurried back to the office.

Everything was back to normal, as if it had never happened. The only faces to display a hint of it were Ed's and Al's, everyone else was calm and collected, busy with work.

Lily took the tray to Riza's desk and placed it down gently. "It's not their best,"

Riza gave her a smile and thanked her, setting her pen aside then reached up to brush Lily's raven hair from her shoulder. "Go get some rest, you look worn."

"Okay Mama," Lily replied and made her way to sit upon the sofa where she picked her book up again. She didn't read, just pretended to, letting her thoughts bubble and swirl around in her head. And she came to the conclusion that with every passing minute she only grew angrier, frustrated, and felt an odd sense of isolation creeping in stronger than ever before. It was a dark and very cold place to be.


	6. Chapter 4: distrust

**Chapter four: Distrust **

The rest of week found Lily and her brothers at home during the day. Al getting ready to go, Ed and Lily helping, and the incident in the office seemingly forgotten save for the dark cloud that hung above all of them.

Saturday morning the family waved Al goodbye at the train station then made the quiet ride back to the large house on a quiet residential street.

Roy watched as Lily practically made a B line straight for her bedroom and Ed headed for the library. The house was too quiet for a Saturday, felt too thick with tension. He decided to break it and called his children back to he and his wife. He gave Lily and Riza a good once over and decided that going to the park probably wasn't in their best interests since they both appeared on the worn side.

"Hmm," He muttered, what could they do today? He reached for Lily but she backed away a little and reached down toe out of her shoes and pushed them over against the wall. That wasn't the reaction he was hoping for but he let it slide for now. "Edward, Lily why don't you two join me in the den,"

"Sure," Ed shrugged glancing at his sister.

"I'm going to go make a list for the market." Riza said softly. "Maybe Lily and Ed could go for us later?"

Lily nodded. "Alright, I wanted to go to the bookstore and a few places anyway."

Ed perked a brow. "We aren't going clothes shopping are we?"

Lily smirked. "Well we do have to find you a dress for Al's wedding." She tapped her chin. "I wonder if they'll take the hem up to accommodate your small stature."

Ed's eyes narrowed and for once due to the lack of a "who are you calling so small," retort Ed was finally reining in his temper. "You're gonna pay for that,"

Lily's smirk deepened into an out right evil smile. "Well who else is going to model dresses for me to see?"

There was a knock upon the front door interrupting any further comments as Roy held up his hand to answer it. He was a little surprised to find one Jason Mathews standing upon his front porch. Oh now this should be interesting and perhaps a bit awkward.

The young man pushed his glasses further up his nose and Roy caught the slight tremble in his hand. "H-hello General Mustang, is Lily home today?"

Roy gave the young man a nod, "She is," He could hear Riza softly hushing Edward behind him. "Would you like to come in?"

Jason looked a little nervous and pocketed his hands. "Um… yeah. I don't normally come unannounced-"

"That's fine," Roy replied, stepping aside to allow Jason passage, gauging his reaction when he met the narrowed eyes of Edward.

"This is my wife, Riza,"

"It's nice to meet you Jason," Riza said with a smile. "Edward, why don't you help me in the kitchen."

Ed started to speak but Riza gave him a stern look and he followed her obediently.

Roy closed the door and motioned for Lily and Jason to follow him then let Lily take it from there, though he stayed in the living room, looking through the phonograph records. Someone had to keep an eye upon this situation. He didn't know if he liked boys who looked a year or two older than Edward coming around to see his fifteen year old daughter.

He watched from the corner of his eye as Lily offered Jason the sofa and she took up residence in his chair. "I didn't mean to intrude," Jason said apologetically.

"You weren't," Lily assured him with a smile.

"You looked as if you were getting ready to leave,"

"Actually we just took my brother Alphonse to the train station. He's going to Resembool to see his fiancé."

"Oh," Jason paused. "So you haven't been to the zoo in a few days."

"No, I've been ordered by my doctor to take it easy for a few days. He's got some silly notion that I'm too stressed."

"Are you sick?" Jason asked.

Roy lifted a record and read the back, glancing at Lily. She wasn't paying attention to him, her obsidian eyes focused upon Jason. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned to find Edward peaking around the corner. Roy waved him away but Ed stayed put.

"No, I've just been a little tired lately. How are you?"

"I'm fine… Lily you and your older brother aren't really-"

Lily's amused laughter filled the air. "No, I mean it's kind of a joke. When I was little I asked him if he'd marry me and he promised he would once I was a little older. Edward was just being an annoying brat."

"Oh, but he kissed you,"

"Yes, yes he did," Lily replied and finally met her father's eyes with a faint smirk. "Does that bother you?"

"Well I…"

Lily sat back. "Hm?"

Jason sighed. "I have to admit it was a bit startling but after thinking about it for a bit I came to the conclusion that he was just being over protective of you with someone he didn't know."

"Mm, he was."

Jason nodded. "Well I have to be getting to the zoo, I promised to come in today and help out a little in the admissions gate. A few people have been asking about you, should I tell them you'll be back soon?"

Lily shrugged. "Soon, no. It will be awhile before I return to do any volunteer work, but I will stop by soon."

"But why?"

Roy wanted to know the answer to that very question himself but kept his mouth shut as Ed slipped into the room and joined him. "You're too nosey for your own good sometimes Ed," Roy whispered very softly. Ed merely shrugged.

"No reason in particular," she paused. "How do you feel about weasels?"

Jason smiled. "I like them, I have two at home. Didn't you get one recently?"

"Yes I did. I don't think it's really safe for him here. My brother's cat likes to chase him so we've had to keep him out in the shed, but I have an owl out in the back yard and more than once I've seen her eye the shed."

"That's not exactly safe for your weasel."

"No, would you like to have him?" she asked.

"Sure," Jason replied eagerly. "What's his name?"

"Gunter,"

"Gunter, it's nice. I'll pick him up this evening if you don't mind?"

"Not at all," She replied and rose. Jason stood and followed her to the front door. They said goodbye and she returned.

Roy casually set the record back in it's place. "You're giving up Gunter?" He found it a little odd since she had been so determined to keep him in the first place, going to the extent of locking Al's cat in the closet several times.

Lily sighed with a nod. "Yeah, it's not safe for him here."

"And you're not going back to the Zoo?"

"He's kind of boring." Ed said, leaning against the wall. "Didn't stay too long either."

"Not anytime soon," Lily replied, ignoring Ed's comment. "I'm going to my room to see if Runa and Logan are up there. I haven't seen them all day."

"Mind if I come?" Ed asked.

Lily shook her head. "No,"

Roy watched them head up the stairs then went to his study and poured himself a glass of scotch. It was a bit early in the day for it, even he had to admit, but something was bothering him about his daughter and every once in awhile if he sat and spread out everything before him with a glass of scotch he could get to the bottom of it.

Lily loved the Zoo and once she out grew her fear of loud animals with Ed and Al's help; she'd wanted to go once a month. She'd been excited when she'd learned about volunteer work and rushed home to ask if she could do it when she was naught but twelve. Her not going at least once a week was more than disturbing and it was high time he tried to figure out once and for all what was going on. If he couldn't, he'd make her tell him.

He made a note of everything he knew to be going on including things happening to Riza, Al getting married, and even Edward interfering in Lily's dating life, not that there was one or that there was going to be one anytime soon. Then he sat back to look at it, taking a sip from his drink.

* * *

Edward smiled as he flopped down upon Lily's bed right next to Logan who as it turned out was curled up and watching Runa play with something in the corner of Lily's room.

Lily took a seat in her desk chair and began to move some books a papers around.

"So guess it's just us now." Ed said forlornly. It was going to be so strange not having Alphonse with them and in some lights it just seemed so wrong.

"Yeah, but the important thing is, he's happy." Lily replied, placing her pens in the pen holder.

Ed nodded. "Yeah… So why aren't you going back to the Zoo and getting rid of Gunter?" It seemed a little odd to him.

"It's not safe for Gunter here. Wynn might try to eat him, I've seen her staring at the shed often enough. As for the Zoo," Lily sighed. "I'm tired Ed, I just want to slow things down a little. I don't have to do everything all at once."

"Is that why you're not practicing alchemy?" He prodded.

"I couldn't say,"

Ed narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't go being like Dad," Lily remained quiet, straightening up her desk. "Do you not want to be an alchemist?"

"I never said that," She replied, lifting a book.

"Do you not want to be a state alchemist, because you don't have to be. My teacher, Izumi, isn't."

Lily nodded, "I know,"

Ed frowned as Runa tossed something that looked a lot like gauze with a blood stain into the air with her paw. As far as he knew, no one in the house had been hurt or cut, so why the cat would be playing with something like that, he didn't understand. He could guess she might have dug it out of the trash. Al's cat often dumpster dived if she thought there was something she wanted in it.

He sat forward as Lily opened a notebook and began flipping through pages. "I thought maybe we could do something for Al and Winry's wedding," He began, easing off the bed. "Got any ideas?"

Lily sighed and rubbed her temple. "Uh… no, not at the moment."

Ed lunged and snagged the gauze from the three legged kitten, careful not to let it get caught in her claws and pull too hard. He turned a little and examined it. There was too much blood upon it for it to have been from a small wound or a cat scratch. The place about as long as his index finger, just as wide, and repeating a few times down the cloth.

Runa jumped to catch the end and landed upon her hip with a thump, gaining Logan's attention. The Fox jumped from the bed and trotted to her side as she got to her feet, nudging her with his nose as Black Hyate bounded up the stairs and burst into the room chasing Al's cat.

Ed ignored the animals as they ran about the room, knocking things over, and turned to Lily who rose to stop the small fight. He caught her arm and lifted the material. "What's this?"

Lily's black eyes looked it over once and shrugged. "Looks like gauze with blood on it."

He didn't let go as she began to move. "Is it yours?"

"Yes," She replied calmly.

Ed blinked in surprise. He thought she might try and deny it, he wasn't prepared for her to claim it and as if it were an everyday thing. And it wasn't easy for him to find blood on anything in this house. In the field he'd gotten used to it, but in light of what was going on with Riza, their past, he couldn't stand to see it when Lily so much as obtained a paper cut.

"Lily?" He breathed.

Lily took the gauze from his hand. "I cut myself shaving the other day when I took a bath. It was really deep." She turned and put it back in the wastepaper basket next to her desk after righting it.

Somehow Edward didn't quite believe her. "Let me see the cut,"

Lily turned to him with a smirk. "First you kiss me and now you want me to take my clothes off for you, are you sure you don't like me more than a sister?"

"That's not going to work," He replied seriously. "Let me see,"

Lily sighed, rolling her eyes and lifted her skirt pointed to a two day old cut near her knee that was healing. "See?"

Ed nodded, but that was no cut made from shaving. He's seen cuts from shaving when she was first learning how a few years ago. This one was too long and too deep.

"I really slipped up. Mama said never to shave standing, always to sit down." She let her dress fall. "Don't worry about it Ed, it's nothing."

Ed gave her a slight smile. It was possible, the angle was right, but he got the feeling that's not what'd happened and frankly he was worried, really worried. "You okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah,"

"Lily, Edward, lunch," Riza called from the bottom of the stairs.

Lily's eyes lit up and she took his arm. "Come on big brother, after lunch lets go to the park. We haven't done that in a while. Besides I think Black Hyate needs a walk."

Ed merely followed her but didn't let go of his fears. As of right now he didn't think he could trust her and made plans to watch her very carefully, not let her out of his sight.

* * *

After lunch and a small visit to the park where he and Lily walked both Logan and Black Hyate, they went to the market and to the book store. They were met by Jason at their front gate and Lily invited him to stay for supper.

Ed wasn't too thrilled about it but he couldn't exactly say no when Riza welcomed it. Lily and Jason ended up in the back yard talking and getting Gunter ready to go.

When they came in Lily was quietly listening to Jason's dialogue about something Zoo related. Ed rolled his eyes, was that all Jason talked about?

As soon as they sat down for dinner he struck up a conversation about flame alchemy with Roy. Roy seemed preoccupied with his thoughts but humored him. Besides Roy had just finished teaching him the art of it and had made plans to begin teaching Lily this summer. It was only fitting they keep it in the air.

Jason's eyes lit up as he looked across the table to Lily. "You're an alchemist?"

Lily took a casual sip of her tea. "Yes,"

Ed and Roy exchanged frowns. Lily used to love talking about alchemy and now she just seem… less enthused.

"What's your specialty?" Jason asked, resting his arm upon the table.

Lily lifted her eyes slowly. "I don't have one,"

"Oh, are you planning to join the state?"

Lily nodded. "Yes, not for awhile though."

"Research?"

"I'm going for a command position and yes some research will be required."

Jason smiled. "I think you'd be good in a commanding position. You were really good the day the wolf got loose, organized everyone, staff, volunteers, and visitors so quick."

Now this Edward hadn't heard about at all and from the looks on their parents faces, they hadn't either.

"Some one had too, it was chaos and I didn't want someone doing something stupid and hurting the wolf." She replied.

"You did that Lily?" Roy asked with a hint of a smile. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't let me go back after hearing a wolf was lose." Lily said and picked up her fork.

"It wasn't even in the paper." Riza said.

"No, Lily made sure of that, to protect the zoo and got the idiot who messed up and left the cage open fired. According to him, he just turned around for a second so he could get the wolf fresh water but he'd left the feeding door open and the main door to the cage open." Jason informed them. "If it had reached the media, well it wouldn't be good business for the Zoo."

"Excuse me," Riza said getting up from the table. She headed toward the bathroom but Ed focused upon Jason for the moment.

He was just about to ask a question when Riza called for Roy and it was a call of distress.

Roy was out of his chair before he and Lily could stand. "Is something wrong?" Jason asked.

"I'm not sure," Ed replied.

"I'm sorry Jason, but I think you should leave now." Lily said softly. "I'll pack up the rest of your dinner so you can at least finish it when you get home."

Jason nodded with concern. "Is she going to be alright?"

"I don't know," Lily replied. "Ed,"

"I'm going," Ed replied and headed for the bathroom. When he came to the door way Roy stood over Riza, holding her hair back from her face while she vomited all she'd eaten, her face slicked with a light sheen of perspiration. His father soothed her softly, rubbing her back gently.

"What can I do?" Ed asked, feeling a thread of fear sliver through his veins.

"Wet a wash cloth and get a glass of water." Roy ordered.

Edward didn't hesitate and did as he was told, coming back in time for the toilet to be flushed and find Roy holding Riza in his arms on the bathroom floor, smoothing her hair down, and kissing her head.

He wouldn't let Riza's trembling hands take the glass of water from his hand but helped her take a sip. Then he gently washed her face. "You okay Mom?"

Riza nodded, but the fright was back in her eyes as she spoke. "I guess dinner didn't agree with me."

Ed lifted his eyes to Roy's. Roy looked calm, but terrified all the same. "I think it's time we took you into see Dr. Hiasen instead of waiting for your appointment." Roy said softly.

"No, I'm fine,"

"You're not fine," Roy replied coldly. "And it's about time we stopped trying to pretend you are. This is only getting worse. Do not force me to pull rank Riza."

"Go Mama," Lily's voice said from behind Ed, He turned to see her standing at the doorway, pale faced, eyes wide with sorrow, and cheeks splotched as if she were about to cry. "Please,"

Ed stepped back and reached for Lily's hand but she suddenly turned cold and rigid.

"If you don't go, I'll never speak to you again."

That one statement had everyone in a state of silent shock for several moments. Finally Edward spoke up. "Lily you don't mean that,"

She lifted her chin as a tear trickled down her cheek. "That's the exchange, if Mama goes I'll speak to her, if she decides to keep being stubborn, I won't and it will hurt because I _need_ her."

Ed didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. On one hand he whole heartedly agreed with Lily's method, but on the other… He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This had to stop even if the house became silent. Riza had to see a doctor. "I'm with Lily."

"Did you hear them Riza?" Roy asked sternly.

Riza nodded. "Alright, I'll go,"

* * *

Roy waited in the waiting room with Edward and Lily. It had been nearly two hours since they'd brought his wife in. He supposed the game was up now, the one Riza asked him unfairly to play in keeping the information of her health from them. He didn't like what Riza was doing and he didn't like the idea of the only way to get her to admit something was truly wrong was for Ed and Lily to cease speaking to her. It just wasn't right and he couldn't believe it had all come to this. What was more, he was sure Riza was keeping some of the information from him, in light of what'd happen tonight.

"Lily," He said softly. She'd not said a thing since leaving the house and she'd looked a bit pale herself, just as she had in the office when her mother had fainted. He was worried about her.

"Hmm,"

Roy reached for her hand but she inched away upon the sofa, clearly not wishing to be touched. So many warning bells rang in his head, had been ringing for some time where she was concerned and they were higher in pitch than the one's ringing for Riza. The two tones of them clashed and made sour notes, singing a song of doom.

"That must have been difficult, telling Riza-"

"It's no more than she deserved," Lily half whispered.

Roy blinked in astonishment and wet his lips, looking to Edward for an explanation. Ed seemed just as startled as he was. "So you are angry with her."

"Is that a rhetorical question father?" She asked coldly.

"It was a statement," He let pass through his lips.

"Then you would be wrong, I'm not angry with her." Lily replied. "I'm… scared of losing her."

Roy knew more than anyone how hard it was for some members of this family to admit their true feelings, he was one of them. "I am too Poppet."

"Excuse me, General Mustang I could I borrow you a moment?" Dr. Hiasen said softly.

Roy nodded and rose, following the doctor from the waiting room to his personal office in the infirmary. Hiasen turned off the light and went to the far wall where he flicked on another. The light came from a box like structure upon the wall, something Roy had never seen before.

"We've had some new developments in medical technology and what I'm going to show you is an x-ray of your wife's head."

Roy didn't quite know what that meant or why Riza needed a head x-ray. He knew about the x-ray technology, read about it in a report of new alchemy research, couldn't remember the name of the alchemist who'd come up with it at the moment, but nodded all the same.

"I've heard of it. Why her head?"

Dr. Hiasen sighed and slid a sheet of some new material upon the board. "Because I have looked at everything else that could be wrong with her and decided to check one more possibility." He replied and turned to the board, straightening the sheet. He pointed to a place at the brain stem. Roy had never really seen the human brain unless it had been blown out of a skull upon the battle field so he wasn't entirely sure what he was viewing.

"I had hoped it wasn't this, even prayed but in the last few days after reviewing her medical file and now with her recent symptoms… General your wife has a brain tumor and given it's size it's been festering for sometime now, longer than the period in which she's been coming in to see me. And honestly I don't think she was being entirely truthful about all of her symptoms in her visits."

Roy stepped closer and examined the place, it was rather big and now that he knew what it was and that it wasn't supposed to be there, it didn't look like it belonged. Brain tumor…

"What's that mean?" He dared to ask. He knew what it meant, it meant that it would continue to grow and his wife would die. She'd be in pain and might not be herself in the end, but he wanted to hear it from this man, wanted the chance to deny it. He'd beat it out of him. Riza just couldn't… she couldn't leave him, not now… He _needed_ her!

Hiasen sighed. "It means that she could die, but I'm looking into some new medical journals, and begun making calls through out Amestris. I have an idea, it's a long shot at best and I'm not sure it will work, but I'm going to try my damnedest."

Roy shook his head. That wasn't an answer.

Hiasen seemed to read that and reached for the sheet to take it down. "I want to try and remove it. It would mean an operation, cutting into her skull. I'm almost too afraid to do this; afraid I might do more damage… But I thought I would talk to you first before her. I get the feeling that she hasn't told you everything. It is a huge risk; I will not lie to you and I will not do this until I can get a hold of a med school friend of mine. He was studying the human brain to become a brain surgeon."

There was a hint of hope in his words, hope that Roy clung too as if his own life depended upon it. He'd approve this if it meant keeping Riza with him and their children a little while longer, if it meant growing old with her. He knew she might be a little different or even completely different, but he'd love her none the less, he'd take care of her, he'd do everything within his power to keep her. He had too…

"Tell me what I need to do, where do we need to look, I can pull more strings than you can."

"I'm not sure where to look. I've started making calls, but his name is Henry Talbot."

Ed and Lily stood outside the door listening in, keeping to the shadows as their father and Hiasen began to talk about how to find this doctor. Ed felt Lily begin to retreat and caught her hand and faced her. Her countenance held the sort of painful expression he'd not seen on her in years. It was the same she'd had when she'd thought he and Alphonse hated her.

He began to pull her away but her feet wouldn't move. "Lily," He whispered, "Lily come with me."

She made a sound almost like a whimper, but he tugged gently and she followed him back to the waiting room. Ed sat her upon the sofa and wrapped his arm about her shoulders. "Here's what we're going to do."

"Big brother,"

"I know," He replied, pulling her close. "We're going to listen to what Dad has to say."

"He won't tell us everything; he won't tell us the truth." Lily whispered.

"We'll make him," Ed promised gazing down the hall toward the office.

"How?"

"I'm not sure yet but I'll think of something."


	7. Chapter 5: Plans within Plans

**Chapter 5: Plans within plans**

Roy left Dr. Hiasen's office and found Riza's room. He gave her the bad news that she was going to have to stay the night. She wasn't too thrilled about that but didn't put up a fuss. She did however ask him to head home and stay with Ed and Lily. He was a little reluctant but nodded and went to find them after giving her a kiss goodnight.

When he found them he sighed heavily. Both held the air of terrible worry. He had to tell them, they had a right to know and he needed them, would need their help. But he didn't want to do it here.

"Let's go home," He said.

"What about Mommy?" Lily said in a tiny voice.

"She has to stay the night Poppet." God she sounded so small like that, so needy.

Lily and Edward said nothing, just followed him out.

* * *

The ride home was silent as the grave, not even the sound of the car seemed to reach Roy's ears.

At home Lily and Edward cleaned up the dinner mess. He tried to assist them but they sent him away and he found himself in the study at his desk with a glass of scotch in his hand, staring at the family photo taken after he and Riza were first married. Lily was wearing a pretty blue sun dress, Ed and Al in shorts and t-shirts, and Riza in white dress with her hair down and blowing in the wind, looking up at him with a smile.

Maes had taken this one for them. It had been a beautiful summer day with them visiting Maes here in Central. That had been a wonderful day with a visit to a near to the country for a picnic where the boys showed everyone some of their alchemy talents and all of the children played in the tall grass and wild flowers.

At some point Ed came to tell him goodnight, and he heard both Ed and Lily's foot falls heading up the stairs.

Memories, all good, all annoying, and even some of the not so good and bad flooded Roy's head as he downed an entire bottle of scotch. He was going to lose her. Things had been good for far too long, things had been happy and peaceful for far too long and by the time he looked at the clock and decided he'd better get to bed, his liquor addled mind had convinced itself that a person like him had been fortunate to have had so many beautiful years and now it was time that he paid the price. That price was to lose yet another wife in a painful way, to watch her suffer, and to have his daughter distance herself from him to the point that he didn't know her anymore.

By the time he had reached for the second bottle, he had convinced himself that it would only be a matter of time before Lily hated him. He'd made her a promise he might not be able to keep and she violently needed promises to be real, always had. Then he'd lose Edward and Alphonse soon after. It was his fate, the exchange for all the lives he'd destroyed in the war so many years ago.

Just as he was lifting his glass to his lips, he broke down and began to weep silently. He placed the glass upon his desk and removed his glasses, covering his face with his hand. He didn't hear the door open nor the soft foot falls of his daughter's feet, but he felt her warm, slender hand upon his shoulder and her other gently tugging at the one covering his face.

Roy sat back with a sniffle and tried to smile. "What are you doing out of bed Poppet?"

Lily's slanted; onyx eyes took in his desk and the empty bottle of scotch, the newly opened one and shook her head. "Daddy," there was a note of sadness in her voice. "You shouldn't drink like this." Her hand tightened around his.Then she wiped his tears away, gently.

Roy lifted her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss there. "I know,"

Lily pushed his chair back from the desk, thankfully it was on wheels so she could, and held out her other hand. "Come on, I'll help you to bed."

He smirked. "Don't think I can make it,"

"No," she whispered.

"Alright," he paused. "Do you hate me?"

Lily blinked at him in bewilderment. "No, I could never hate you. I'll let that stupid question slide on account that you've been drinking."

Roy nodded and got to his feet, swaying a little, his head swimming. "I might have drank too much. It's your mother's fault; I used to be able to drink more."

Lily wrinkled up her nose. "Let's get you some headache medicine and something to eat. You don't want to have hangover so bad you can't get out of bed in morning."

Roy smirked, "You taking care of me now?"

"Always," She replied, tugging him toward the kitchen.

Roy sat at the kitchen table while she made him some eggs and toast, sipping water. He'd already taken headache medicine and he was beginning to feel a little better but those thoughts and feelings kept swimming inside his head. He should tell her about Riza, he really should. She could tell Edward now or in the morning, but… He knew how it would go. First she'd be upset, her eyes wide and disbelieving then she'd cry and think it would be her fault. Everyone would have to assure her it wasn't, then she'd have to watch her second mother, the only mother she'd ever known waste away and her heart would be broken.

No he couldn't tell her, not just yet. He didn't want her to have to feel that kind of pain just yet, didn't want her to feel what he was suffering. And good god he didn't want to get her hopes up only to have them crushed into dust and blown away by the wind.

Lily placed his late night meal before him then sat beside him at the table. She reached for a section of the previous morning's paper and began to read.

"It's getting colder out. I think it's about time we called the chimney sweep so we can start fires in the fireplaces."

"Eat Daddy," she muttered.

"I think I'll do that tomorrow," He replied before biting into a piece of toast. Lily had put confectioners sugar upon it with cinnamon instead of regular sugar or jam. Quickly he chewed and swallowed. "I'd like to teach you,"

Lily lowered the paper and held out her hand. "May I see one of your gloves?"

Roy nodded and pulled one from his pocket and watched her get up and turn on one of the burners upon the gas stove. She slipped his glove on and snapped. His reaction time was a bit slow, but he was on his feet fearing the house exploding… only it didn't. He stood astonished as the blue flames worked as if they'd merely turned on the stove, not just the gas. That took some skill, it took practice and while it hadn't taken her brother too long to master that one, he'd figured it would take her a tad bit longer.

But… how did she know?

Lily plucked the too big glove from her hand and placed it upon the table. "I listened and watched you teach Edward and I read his notes before he encrypted them. Oh and figuring out your code in your old journals and notebooks wasn't that difficult, not for me at least."

Roy eyed her as she sat down and resumed reading the paper, then he smiled. "I can teach you more than just lighting stove tops."

Lily merely shrugged. "Sure, but eat for now."

"You don't have to learn it if you-"

"Eating requires that the food is put into your mouth, chewed, and swallowed. Can't do that if you're talking." She muttered.

"My, aren't we cranky," he remarked.

Lily perked a brow only but said nothing more. When he was finished she took the plate to the sink then returned for his hand. Roy let her help him up the stairs and to his bedroom. "I'm going to the bathroom, when I come back you had better be in bed Daddy," And before he could counter her order, she was behind the bathroom door, closing it.

He sighed and changed for bed, his head feeling a little better, his body feeling a little better, and crawled in, removing his glasses and placing them upon the night stand.

When Lily returned Roy noticed a white tipped tail trailing her and suddenly there was a fox upon his bed. He blinked at Logan as he walked to the end of the bed and made himself comfortable with a yawn. Man, if that fox ever decided to bite someone it might really hurt, even if he was domesticated. He still couldn't believe they had a fox living with them.

Lily removed her house robe and pulled the blankets back on Riza's side and began to get in. Roy frowned at that, "Are you sleeping with me tonight?"

"You shouldn't be alone," She whispered.

Those four little words warmed him and nearly broke his heart. And then he nearly wept as she curled up to him like she had when she was a little girl. "It's kind of strange; you're not so little anymore."

"You're not so young anymore."

Roy chuckled, slipping his arms around her. "Okay…" He sighed. "So that Jason character, he seems rather impressed with you."

"I know," She replied with a hint of arrogance.

"He seems nice."

"He is,"

"And he's an accountant, interesting. Do you want to date him?"

Lily shrugged. "I don't know… not really, just thought he was nice but after awhile he kind of gets boring. I don't mind talking with him on a friendly basis, but… Why am I having this conversation with you right now?"

Roy snorted. "Embarrassed?"

"It's kind of uncomfortable," she admitted. "And I really don't want to talk about it at the moment."

"Hmm, well," He pulled the blankets up around them. "You're an amazing and beautiful young lady Lily; just make sure you find someone who will treat you as you should be treated."

"I will." She promised with a yawn. "Drinking won't make it go away."

Roy stilled and closed his eyes. "I know,"

"Then why?"

"I… I'm not sure."

"I don't mind you drinking, I just don't like seeing you drunk Daddy. It's not good for you."

He didn't need a lecture, then again he supposed this wasn't really a lecture or admonishment, Lily was just worried, afraid to lose him. He did know better and it had been a long while since he'd been really drunk, years even.

"Poppet why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because I'm alright." She breathed.

"No, no sweetie I don't think you are. I can't fix it for you if you don't tell me what's troubling you."

"What if I need to fix things on my own?"

"Then…" He sighed. "I'd say I'm proud of you for wanting to do that, but sometimes some things are much bigger than we are and sometimes we all need help and it's not a crime or sin to ask for help."

She was quiet and Roy turned his head to place a kiss upon hers. "I'm here for you Poppet." He felt her shift, snuggle closer, heard her shuddered breath, then felt something damp upon the shoulder of his pajama shirt. She didn't utter a word more, just cried herself to sleep. That was alright, she didn't have to talk. Her weeping alone confirmed more than the little signs that there was indeed something bothering her and he felt letting her cry upon his shoulder, not pushing her, was one step closer to her finally telling him.

The next morning found Roy back in the infirmary alone. Ed and Lily were still at home in bed, sleeping, and while his hang over wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, it was still a screaming monster. Riza being as intuitive a woman as she was recognized it right away. She rebuked him then allowed him to take her home.

* * *

The day after Ed and Lily awoke was like any typical Sunday, quiet. Everyone seemed to have their own things to do but by the evening they were all in the den. Riza was reading, Roy was playing chess with Lily who had Logan curled up in her lap, and Ed watching while playing with Runa upon the floor. The sounds that filled the air were the turn of a page, the click of a piece upon the glass chess board, the soft thud of the kitten pouncing, and the phonograph playing a soft classical.

"Check mate," Lily said softly, as if her voice might disrupt the peace in the air.

Roy blinked then smirked. "Well I'll be damned, you finally beat me."

Ed perked up. "No way, no one can beat you." But the proof was there plain as day.

Roy shrugged. "Guess she was sneakier than me this time."

"Congratulations Lily," Riza said with a smile.

"Thank you Mommy," Lily replied. "I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight. "I have school tomorrow."

Roy glanced at Riza then nodded. "Do you think you're ready to go back?"

"I don't want to fall behind; big brother do you want to play?"

Edward nodded, placing the string he'd been playing with Runa aside. "Yeah, in a minute. I gotta do something first."

Lily merely nodded and began to re-setup the board as Ed rose and went into the kitchen.

Roy wondered what it was that Ed had to do, but didn't ask, just watched Lily as she carefully finished and lifted Logan like a small child. The fox yawned and lifted his head to lick her chin. He smiled as she smiled and kissed her fox's head. He wished he had his camera handy for moments like these.

Gently Lily placed Logan upon the floor and he immediately trotted over to Runa, taking her string into his mouth and headed out of the study.

Lily yawned then leaned over and lay her head upon Riza's shoulder, slipping her arm about her middle. "Night Mommy,"

"Good night Lily,"

Then Lily was up and coming to him for a hug. Roy gave it to her then watched her leave. Roy sighed and sat back in his chair with a lazy stretch. "She beat me,"

"I saw," Riza replied with a smile as she picked up her book again.

Roy grinned and slipped from his chair to sit beside her, plucking the book from her hands. "Do you really want to read that when you've got me to read? I know you love reading me."

Riza let out a soft laugh. "Edward will be back in a moment and you know what he'll say."

Roy nodded but tipped his head and sought her soft neck none the less. She was warm, always so warm and smelled so delightful. "Think I care,"

"No," she whispered.

Roy almost purred as her fingers ran through his hair. He lifted his head and found her lips, seeking her tongue for a deep kiss.

"Are we going to play chess or should I just go to bed so you two can play tonsil hockey in peace?"

Roy pulled away with a smirk as Riza gave him her 'I told you so,' smile. "We'll play Edward."

Ed nodded and sat in Roy's abandoned seat.

"And we'll finish this later." Roy promised his lovely wife.

"I'm sitting right here Dad," Ed muttered.

Riza chuckled, snatching her book from Roy's hand.

Ed sighed an hour into the game. Why was it he always lost most of his pieces to his adoptive father. It never failed no matter what strategy he took. He supposed he was too impulsive and he usually lost all of his pieces to Lily too.

Roy smirked as he made another move and captured one of his son's knights. "I would think you would have figured out by now-"

"Oh shove it," Ed muttered.

Roy chuckled. "You'll beat me… the day you grow taller than me."

Ed glared, "Bastard," He looked up. "I'm taking some leave and taking Lily with me. I think a trip to Resembool or Acroya, or somewhere nice might be good. It might also give her a break from anything that's bothering her here." He sat back. "And I kind of promised her I'd take her somewhere when we got older, just the two of us." Well it was all of those things but Edward had other agendas in mind as well.

Roy motioned for him to make his move. Ed knew he was going to get beaten in this game anyway, so just made a random one. "I'll take care of her, keep her close and not let anything happen to her… I won't make that mistake again."

His father nodded though his brows furrowed. "That's not what I'm worried about." He paused and moved a piece upon the board. "What about school?"

Ed scoffed. "Like she really needs finishing school. It's a bunch of crap they're teaching her, she's already a lady if you ask me which you didn't." He moved another piece.

"I didn't think I had too. I am after all," Roy moved another piece. "Your father. Check mate."

Ed shrugged. "Yeah so, you still didn't ask me. I think that's part of her problem,"

"Me not asking you your opinion of sending her to school?" Roy asked incredulously.

"No, that school. It was all fine in the beginning Dad, but after a month or two Al says she stopped practicing alchemy. Don't know for sure if that's entirely it, but I'm just going to get her away for a bit. I think a small trip for a week or two won't hurt her and it'll give me some time alone with her."

"Edward," Riza began softly. "What are you really doing?"

Ed huffed in disbelief. "What makes you think this is more than just taking my little sister on a promised trip?"

"Because we know you and usually you have double motives." She replied with a smile. "What's going on?"

He could counter that. "What's going on with you?" When neither of his parents answered he rose. "I thought so, well good night. I'll see you in the morning." And he hurried out and up to his room. He didn't care if they approved or not, he was getting Lily out of here for a week or two and he was going to discover her secret, try to locate this damned doctor if he could, and seek some advice from an old friend.

* * *

Lily sat staring out the window in her homemaker's class, bored, uninterested, and more entertained by the wind blowing the tree limbs outside. It was a pretty day, sun shining, leaves all the pretty fall colors, and she wished she could be outside instead of in this stale room with other girls her age who were more concerned about finding good husbands and performing their duties to their families and reproducing, making good homes. This sort of thing used to mean something to her but now it left her mouth filled with ash and dirt; was unappealing. She was only here for appearances sake, and to keep from worrying her father.

The whispers from the girls seated around her would have gone unnoticed save for one of them giggled and mentioned a name that ever colored her suddenly dull world. "Wow Edward Elric is even better looking in person than in the paper."

"Miss Mustang," Her teacher called.

Lily tore her gaze from the window to find her eldest brother standing at the front of the class room. She smirked slightly from his expression of nervousness and bewilderment of nineteen giggling and whispering girls obviously swooning over him. He might not have known it, but he was rather attractive and being a famous state alchemist with a stable job within the military, made him quite the ideal item for any girl to want to catch. She supposed he'd never really paid too much attention to the young ladies they passed upon the streets of Central but their eyes and whispers hadn't gone unnoticed by her.

"Yes," she asked.

Her teacher smiled. "It seems your brother is here to pick up you."

Lily frowned, closing her book, letting her eyes shift to Edward. He merely smiled with that 'I've got something up my sleeve' look.

Sandra, the girl who sat in front of her turned as she closed her note book and stacked her books upon her desk in a neat and orderly manner. "Lily, he's really your brother?"

Cindy, the girl who sat beside her leaned upon her desk with her chin in her hand. "He's so handsome, think I could get a date with him?"

"I called him first," Sandra whined. "Back off,"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, he's my brother and no neither of you have a chance with him. You'd have to know something about alchemy." It was rude of her perhaps but she smiled as she stood and walked down the isle to the front of the room to meet her brother. Knowing how those two worked and knowing Edward, he'd tire of them quickly and it was just be a waist of time for them all. She wouldn't dare subject Ed to their flirtatious antics in a million years.

Edward took her books from her hands with a slight smile. "Ready?"

Lily nodded and followed him from the room and down the long narrow hallway, glad to be free of the boredom. "Why'd you come?"

Ed grinned and stopped at a display table for the sewing class, setting her home makers book upon it before taking her hand and holding up her note book. "Anything important in this?"

Lily blinked in surprise as he led her away from her text book. "I'll need that book-"

"For what, you don't need to be here. So anything important in this?" He interrupted.

"Notes," She replied in confusion. Didn't need to be here? "Ed what's going on, you know Daddy will be upset if I just walk out of school."

"Relax, I took care of that." He replied half dragging her to a trashcan several feet down the hall. "Are you sure there's nothing you need from this?"

"Uh, just my history notes," What was he going on about? What had he done or taken care of? "Big brother,"

Ed tossed her notebook into the trash can with a smile. "I need you to clean out your locker, hey where's Logan?"

_What the hell was going on, clean out her locker_?! "Logan's outside in the courtyard waiting for me." She replied, tugging upon his hand. "Edward stop, what is going on?"

He grinned nefariously. "It's a surprise; show me where your locker is."

Lily frowned but led the way to her locker upon the first floor near the office. Edward pulled over a trash can and once she had it opened. Then he began pulling out her notebooks, asking if she had anything important in them. When she replied notes and homework he chucked them away and pulled out her books and school bag.

She watched with perplexity as he rifled through her bag pocketing her pens and pencils, throwing away her note cards, ruler, and school planner. Then her bag was shoved into her arms as he picked her books up from the floor and took them into the office, leaving them upon the receptionist's desk and came back to her with that same knowing, and all too sneaky grin.

He took her hand as the receptionist hurried from the office. "Hurry," he said beginning to run, yanking her along.

"Wait Mr. Elric!" the receptionist called.

Lily yelped as he slammed the front door open and they burst down the stairs into the court yard. "Logan!" Ed called. The fox lifted his head, cocking it to the side then leapt to his feet to chase after them as they ran through the front gates of the school.

Lily was shocked when Edward rounded the corner and pulled open the door of an awaiting cab for her. This was _insane_, so unlike him, and she still wasn't sure what was going on. Oh she could guess he was stealing her from school, but why?

Logan leapt into the back seat of the cab before she climbed in and sat. Edward followed and told the driver to head for the train station and that's when Lily had to object. "No don't, what's going on?"

The man looked back over his shoulder and waited. "Staying or going?"

"Going," Ed replied. "Ignore her I'm the one paying you."

"Brother!" Lily snapped. "What the **_hell_** are you doing?"

Ed chuckled. "Rescuing you from utter boredom and taking you on a small adventure. Don't worry Dad knows and will look after the animals."

"But-"

"Hush and enjoy it. You'll like where we're going, though it might be strange at first it will be well worth it. Come on Lily it's intrigue and adventure with your big brother or staying in stuffy class rooms staring out the window all morning."

Well she'd choose her big brother any day but that wasn't the point. "What did you do pull me from school?"

"Yep, you never have to go back. So it's just a matter of hopping on a train, taking in the scenery as it passes for a few days, letting the wind blow through your hair, and enjoying the ride."

Lily sat back shaking her head. "Ehh, what about the Zoo?"

"I took care of that too," He replied happily. "And you said you weren't going back for awhile anyway."

"And clothes?" She asked. Okay as much as she liked the idea, she was sure where ever her brother had gone on his last mission he'd hit his head or something.

"Took care of that too." he pointed to the small suit case, his suit case, resting upon the floor boards. Logan was sniffing it intently.

"And Mom and Dad?"

"Took care of them,"

"You've been busy this morning," She muttered. She just bet he took care of their parents; more like held left them a note and skated out. He'd done that before and boy would their Dad be pissed when they contacted him or came home. She could see the glare now; hear her Dad's voice lecturing them both.

"Trust me everything's in order and cleared."

He was definitely up to something, she could smell it, see his plans within plans in his confident cocky grin.


	8. Chapter 6: Surprises

**Chapter 6: Surprises**

"HE WHAT?!" Roy snapped in disbelief through the phone. He'd not meant to yell at Lily's head master, it was just the shock of what he was hearing. "Sorry, I'll take care of it, thank you for calling me." He slammed the phone down and met Riza's worried gaze, the surprised gazes of Fury, Havoc, Falman, and Breda.

"What happened?" Riza asked.

Roy sighed, closing his eyes. As soon as he caught a certain blonde alchemist he was going to wring his neck. He just couldn't believe this. "Edward withdrew Lily from school, had her clean out her locker then escaped into a cab."

"Wow, that's spontaneous." Havoc said with a grin. "And it sounds just like Ed."

Roy shot him a glare. This wasn't amusing. He didn't mind a small trip and after some thought last night, decided it might be a good idea, but withdrawing her from school without discussing it first wasn't alright. And knowing Edward he'd come up with this little farce, told no one save for Al about it, and had already slipped on a train to who knows where. That damned boy hadn't even allowed him the chance to see Lily off, make sure she had everything she needed.

"Lt. Havoc, go to the train station and see if they've left yet. If they have find out what train they're on and report back to me. If they haven't, I don't care what you have to do, get them in this office." He ground out.

"Roy," Riza sighed.

"No, he's not going to get away with it this time. He should have asked or spoken to us first."

"Well he did-"

"Not about withdrawing her from school!" Roy barked.

Riza shook her head. "No, not about that, but he did tell us he was taking some leave, leave you granted this morning, and taking Lily on a trip."

"That's not the point Riza." He wasn't going to wring Ed's neck. No that would be too lenient; he was going to tie him down so he could never leave again, maybe even place him under house arrest! Damn it! Why couldn't Ed just… He wanted to say good bye to them, see them off. Hell if Lily didn't want to go to school all she had to do was say so, but Ed hadn't even given her a choice in the matter, probably just dragged her out. And damn it he didn't even know where they were going, how was he supposed to contact people to keep an eye upon them?

He reached for the phone again and placed a call to Resembool. Al answered and rattled off the Rockbell business jargon like a professional which in some respects made Roy feel a hint of pride. "Hello Alphonse has Edward contacted you in the last few days?"

"Uh, no why, is something wrong."

"He took your sister and ran." Roy replied.

There was silence on the other end for a moment then soft laughter. Roy couldn't believe it, Al was actually laughing at him and it was so unexpected, Roy found himself standing. "Alphonse," he warned.

"I'm sorry Dad, it's the way you said it." Al calmed down and cleared his throat. "It almost sounded as if you think they've eloped."

Roy blinked.

"Please tell me they didn't," Al asked with slight panic.

"No, but he did withdraw her from school without discussing it with me and I bet he didn't even ask Lily if she wanted-"

"Oh… I'll make some calls. I don't think Ed would go anywhere where he didn't know someone, especially if he has Lily with him." Al cut him short from his near shouting. "Just relax Dad, if anything Ed or Lily will call as soon as they arrive where ever it is that they're headed." And with that the phone was hung up.

Roy pulled the receiver away from his ear. "Damn it,"

Roy waited and waited and the minutes seemed to take near months, but finally Havoc returned alone. Roy's eye twitched in annoyance. They'd gotten away. "Where are they going?" He ground out.

Havoc pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one as he went to his seat. "Well they took the first train out, barely made it on and it's headed East."

East, who did Edward know out east? Roy sat back in his chair trying to remember all of the people he knew that Edward was friendly with. The only people he knew Edward kept in some kind of contact with were Franky and his lot but why would Ed go in that direction? Well no, Resembool was out east and so was Aquroya. "Resembool?"

Havoc shook his head. "Nope, that train was headed for Ariss, but the ticket master said they only had tickets for Marksdale and the only trains going out of Marksdale were scheduled for Central, Dublith, Ariss, and Yale."

Well Edward wouldn't just head back home, Roy knew Ed didn't have any friendly contacts in Yale due to a state appointed mission where Edward had been called out to observe the mill and ended up having it shut down due to some unsavory happenings. It was scheduled to be up and running soon, but the people where weren't too fond of him. Ariss would mean Franky and Dublith would mean his teacher Mrs. Izumi Curtis, who Roy knew Ed wasn't exactly upon good speaking terms with. Hmm…

He lifted the phone and dialed a number. The other end rang a few times before being answered by a pleasant female voice. "Curtis residence,"

He cleared his throat and steeled himself for what might come, knowing that Izumi Curtis didn't like him even though she had never met him before. "Mrs. Curtis, this is Roy Must-" He was cut short when she abruptly hung up.

Roy perked a brow and gently hung up his end and dialed her home again. Two could play this game and he was an expert when dealing with women playing hard to get, he was married to Riza after all and in the beginning she'd played hard to get in just the friendship realm. This time, before Izumi could speak, Roy spoke. "It's about Edward; I believe he was a student of yours at one time."

There was a heavy sigh, "What did that idiot do this time?"

Roy smirked, sitting back in his chair. That was better. "I am sorry to bother you, but I have a small favor to ask of you and if you agree I will be in your debt." That gained few looks from his subordinates but he ignored them and focused upon the woman on the phone.

"If you're calling me then he must have really-"

"It's nothing like that." Roy assured her. "In fact Edward informed me last night that he was taking some leave and his sister on a little trip."

"Your daughter,"

"Yes," He replied.

"Let me guess he didn't tell you when he was leaving or where? Sounds like him but what makes you think he'd come here? Last Edward and I spoke we didn't exactly end our conversation on a good note."

"I'm aware of that Mrs. Curtis, none the less Edward and Lily got on a train this morning that is heading south and might show up. If they do happen to come to you, could you have one of them call me? Just tell them they aren't in any trouble I just want to make sure they have everything."

There was a short pause and then she spoke so softly, so softly and warmly Roy almost didn't think he was talking to the same cranky person he'd been before. "I will see that they do that personally and I will make sure to keep any eye on them while they are here."

Well that was a relief, "Thank you,"

"You're welcome, how are Alphonse and Mrs. Mustang?"

He was surprised that she'd ask about Riza, but he answered anyway. "At the moment Riza is fine and Alphonse took some leave himself to visit Resembool. He and Winry Rockbell are engaged to be married. How are you and your family doing?"

"Alphonse is getting married… He didn't tell me last we spoke. Sige and I are fine." She replied. "I suppose I'll be meeting you before too long, I look forward to it. Edward and Alphonse have both spoken very well of you on occasion… Why exactly did you adopt those boys?"

Roy perked a brow. He'd been asked that many times by various people and every time his answer was always the same. "I love them and while they both have their annoying moments they are both amazing people and they have been very good to me and my daughter."

"Edward tells me that you're teaching him flame alchemy."

"He's almost finished learning from me, he's quite talented." Roy couldn't help but feel a sense of pride when replying, Edward was good, very good and it would only be a matter of time before he surpassed him, but wasn't that what all children should do, surpass their parents? Roy only prayed that Edward wouldn't have to use it in war.

"I know, well I'm sure you have work to do as I have, don't worry about Edward and Lily, I'll take good care of them should they come here." Izumi said. "Good bye,"

"Thank you, bye," Roy said and hung up the phone. Well that went rather well if he did say so himself. Now all he had to do was sit back and play the waiting game, though he didn't think the next few days would be that simple.

* * *

Ed drummed his fingers upon the arm rest of his seat the next day. The landscape for the last two hours had been the same, just open fields, a few trees, the late, cloudy autumn sky above, and the occasional bird yet Lily was watching it intently. He'd thought she'd say something, anything, read a book, write in a journal, but she didn't do a damned thing but stare out the window and it was beginning to piss him off.

"You can stop drilling a hole into me with your eyes Edward, I'm not going anywhere." She muttered with disinterest.

He perked a brow. There wasn't anywhere for her to go except out of the privet room in this car to another car, up, or off the train all together. The last two he'd not allow as it was simply too dangerous.

"So is Logan a knight yet?" he asked.

The fox lifted his head from her lap at the sound of his name. Lily absently scratched behind his ear and then behind his collar. "Where have you been Ed? He became a knight when I was nine."

Ed scratched his head. "Oh,"

"So… where are we going and why are we going?" She asked softly.

"It's a surprise and like I said-"

"Don't even think about telling me it's an adventure brother." She breathed. "I know it's not really. I'm not stupid."

"Can't I want to spend some time alone with you?" He asked. "Everything's so hectic at home. I thought maybe we could work on some alchemy lessons, have some different surroundings for a bit."

"Mm,"

He frowned. "You know a not too long ago you would have jumped at the chance to come with me somewhere."

Lily met his eyes briefly then returned her gaze to the passing scenery. "I am happy to come with you."

"So why so quiet?" He asked with a smile.

She shrugged. "Don't feel like talking, that's all."

Yeah well he didn't care. "So what did that school teach you anyway?"

Lily smirked and leaned to rest against the arm rest. "Stuff our tutor already taught us, how to be a lady… that sort of thing."

"That tells me nothing," Ed mused.

"Sip and not slurp tea, curtsey, ballroom dancing, greetings, cooking," She sighed as she sat back up. "Proper table manners, etiquette, how to have sex properly to most effectively make babies, that sort of thing."

"Oh sounds… come again?!" he nearly yelped.

Lily snickered, easing back. "Got ya,"

"Jeeze," He muttered. Damn he'd forgotten how sneaky she could get, catch him off guard. "You know you're going to give someone a heart attack one day."

"Just keeping you on your toes." She mused.

"Sounds like a boring place."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, it is."

"So you skipped your classes, or so I hear. What did you do instead?"

Again she shrugged. "I'm tired, may I come over there?"

Ed nodded. "Sure, want me to get the blanket back down?"

Lily shook her head and moved Logan from her lap, then slipped over to his seat as he moved to give her room to curl up. She lay down with her head upon his lap. Ed brushed her noir bangs from her slanted eyes. "Talk to me Lily."

"What do you want me to say?"

"What's on your mind." This was just weird. He didn't like her so quiet.

"Hmm… There's nothing on my mind really." She replied closing her eyes.

"That's hard to believe."

She was quiet.

"So what alchemy do you want to explore?"

Lily shifted, draping her arm over his knees but didn't reply.

"Lily… Oh come on I know you're not asleep already."

"Shut up," it was whispered but he caught it and was stunned.

"Don't you want to learn?"

"I'm tired."

"Lily,"

"Later," there was a note of sternness in her voice, her point to him that this conversation was over for the time being. What was with her?!

Edward was just about to ask several questions bluntly when she sat up abruptly. "Is that all you think about? Alchemy?"

_Well damn_, Ed thought. He didn't know why but that kind of stung. "No, I think about mom and dad, Al, you… Did something happen while I was gone?"

"No,"

Concern or annoyance or both, he didn't care to figure it out at the moment and snapped. "You know you don't want me to talk about alchemy but you won't talk."

"Because I don't want to talk!" She bit back.

"Why not?!"

"I just don't. What is wrong with you? Why can't you just leave me _alone_?!" she shouted.

Ed smirked crossing his arms over his chest. Wow now they were fighting. "You know we've got the rest of the day and this is a small room. And you'll be with me for awhile; you're going to have to talk about something sometime."

Lily narrowed her eyes and he sighed, reaching for her face, touching the tip of her nose. "You used to tell me everything Lily."

Lily closed her eyes a moment then lay back down with her head in his lap. "I just don't feel like talking right now big brother."

"You worried about Riza?"

Lily nodded her head against his leg.

"Want to talk about that?"

"Not really," she whispered picking a piece of cat or fox fur from his the knee of his pants.

"She'll be okay Lily." He replied, rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah,"

* * *

Edward smiled as they disembarked from the train in Dublith Station, Sige and Mason were standing at the end of the platform awaiting them, making his smile fade. Roy must have discovered where they were headed and called ahead… That wasn't good.

"This way," He said softly, taking the suitcase from Lily's hand. She merely nodded and called Logan's name.

Ed noted the odd looks they received from some of the people as they made their way toward Mason and Sige. It must be pretty strange to see a fox following a girl like this, though he was plenty used to it.

Sige eyed Logan for a moment then him. "Edward,"

"Hi Sige, this is Lily Mustang, Logan," he nodded to the fox.

Mason chuckled lightly. "A fox and a girl, that's a change shorty."

Ed winced. "Nice to see you too Mason."

"Lily, this is Mason, Sige's hired help, this is Sige Curtis-"

"Mrs. Curtis's husband, I know, brother showed me a picture once." She replied softly. "It's nice to meet you both." And she gave them her charming smile.

Mason smiled. "You too, so you're really Ed's little sister, funny you look taller than him."

Ed glared, would this guy every quit?

"I'm cheating, it's the heels. He's actually an inch taller than I am."

"Izumi's making dinner." Sige said gruffly. "She said once you arrived and had had dinner she wants you to call your parents."

Lily elbowed Ed's side with a grin. "Bet that'll be a fun call."

"Heh, for you too, you came with."

"Ha," Lily replied, looking at her nails as they began to walk behind Sige and Mason. "I was dragged."

Ed was ready for anything really, yelling, a lecture, a beating, but he wasn't ready for Izumi to be so welcoming and gentle. He introduced Lily to his teacher and Izumi showed them to her guest rooms. She told Lily she could take a bath and settle in but as for him, he was to help in the kitchen. That's when he got a very intense lecture and a knife thrown at his head.

* * *

Roy looked at the time upon the grandfather clock in the hall way for the twentieth time this evening. They should have been in Dublith by now; the train was reported to have had no delays and to have arrived an hour and a half ago. Ed was supposed to call when ever he arrived anywhere right away. So why wasn't his son calling? Probably avoiding a lecture and he was _going _to get one.

Riza sighed from her place upon the sofa. "Roy, they'll call."

Roy tore his eyes from the clock to meet her tired brown eyes. She'd come down with another headache today and he'd sent her home to rest. "They had better."

Riza frowned a moment then smiled with a soft sigh. "I think I understand now, why you're so edgy."

"Edgy?" Roy asked with a bewildered look. "I'm not edgy I'm pissed, there's a difference."

Riza chuckled and curled up upon the sofa. "You're more than pissed honey. This is the first time Lily has been away from you, not within walking distance, for eight years. But she's with Edward and you heard him a few nights ago. He won't let her out of his sight and he'll take care of her. It might be good for her to get away for a bit, break the routine." She paused. "And perhaps it will give her the space she needs to deal with what ever it is that is bothering her without having to worry about impressing you or living up to your expectations or mine or those of her brother's."

"My expectations, impressing me?" Roy asked quizzically. "I haven't-"

"Oh yes you have darling. They haven't been spoken but they are everyday implied. You expect her without even really realizing it, to be a charming young lady, a talented alchemist, happy… You've expected the same from Edward and Alphonse except that they have already proven themselves to be talented alchemists and fine young gentlemen. And for the most part both are well and happy with their lives and what they are doing. Lily has big shoes to fill and still has yet to make her mark upon the world as her brothers, myself, and you have. It's not easy to be surrounded by legends."

Roy sighed heavily, knowing when he was defeated. Maybe she was right, perhaps there was a lot of pressure for Lily in this house, but all he'd ever really wanted was for her to be happy and healthy, do what she wanted and for her to be with him.

"And aren't you forgetting that once she thought she had to be perfect just for you."

Roy closed his eyes, hearing that again scorched his heart deeper than anything flame. "I don't want her to be perfect," he breathed.

"Well neither do I, but that is something I still see her trying to be."

He'd seen it too every now and again. Lily didn't take to failure very well, she was like Edward in that sense, maybe even a little like him too. If she failed at the tiniest thing, a test in school, not pulling off a transmutation on the first try, losing an animal at the zoo or a stray she'd taken in, she worked that much harder to make sure it never happened again. It was a good quality but sometimes she might have taken it a little too far.

Then the phone rang.

Roy could hear Edward's breathing before he answered, "Hello Son,"

"That was damn sneaky Dad, I hope you know I got a knife thrown at me!" Ed snapped.

"Why did you withdraw Lily from finishing school?"

There was silence on the other end and Roy could swear he could hear crickets chirping.

"Well?"

"She doesn't need to go."

"Edward, taking Lily away on a trip is one thing but withdrawing her from school is unacceptable, you didn't even ask or discuss it with me!" He snapped. "Regardless if she needed to attend or not. I thought you'd finally grown out of making such reckless decisions. And taking her out during the middle of the day no less, not letting me see you both off."

More silence. "Are you even listening to me Edward?"

"Yeah," Ed bit. "How can I not, the whole neighborhood can probably hear you, just like the old days isn't it Dad?"

"That's not remotely amusing Edward, you could have at least let me say good bye. Now why did you go to Dublith? I thought you said Acroya or Resembool."

"Eh, here is just as nice."

"You didn't even leave a note." Roy growled. "It would be nice if you'd at least inform me of a change in plans."

"You worry too much."

"Of course you're my kids!"

"Calm down will ya? Jeeze we're in a safe place with nice people. I brought her to my teacher's house."

"If I hadn't spoken with her myself I might be even angrier with you. Let me talk to Lily." Roy demanded.

"Sure," Roy heard Edward call for his daughter, heard someone hurrying in the background and then he heard Edward making some comment about Roy's fowl mood. Oh he'd show Edward fowl when they returned home.

"Daddy, hi." She sounded a little meek and must think she was in trouble.

"Are you alright?" he asked with a sigh.

"Yes I'm fine… wait a minute. Edward you said you told Daddy about this."

"I did," Ed replied though his voice was much softer now due to being in the background.

"Right… well I'm fine." Lily said again. "You should see Dublith sometime, it's beautiful, small and not nearly as noisy as Central. I haven't seen much but Edward promised to give me a tour tomorrow. Mrs. Curtis is really nice; I don't know why Edward is so frightened of her, except when she glares at him. That's a little scary and so was the knife she threw at him for still being a state alchemist. Mr. Curtis doesn't really say much and their friend Mason, well," She giggled. "He loves to pick on Edward."

Roy smiled softly. Well she sounded like she was alright, enjoying herself thus far.

"How are you and Mama? Is everything alright, how are the animals?"

"The animals are fine, and your mother and I are fine."

"Yeah right, I could hear you yelling clear in the other room. You've been sitting on the edge of your seat ready to pounce with worry and annoyance haven't you?"

"Can't I worry about you?" He asked.

She was quiet for a moment then replied. "I'm okay, am I in trouble too?"

"For what poppet?"

"For coming with Edward."

"No, he asked if he could take you on a trip and I said it was alright. I'm only really upset that he didn't tell me where he was taking you, that I didn't get to see you off, and that he pulled you from school." He paused, running a hand through his hair. "Lily do you want to go?"

"Where?"

"Finishing school?"

"Sure," she replied and damn it if that wasn't the same response he'd gotten when he'd first begun enrolling her.

"Are you just saying that to pacify me or because it's what you think I want to hear?" he asked.

"School's fine." She replied softly.

"But you left the choir and quit tutoring."

"I know,"

"Lily,"

"Yes,"

Roy sighed. "We'll talk about it when you get home." He really didn't think he'd get her to say anymore over the phone. She wasn't before his eyes so he could read her expressions, watch her mannerisms, and get a good feel for what she really wanted.

"Alright," She promised. "Um dinner's ready did you want to speak to Edward again?"

"No, I'll talk to him later. Lily,"

"Yes Daddy?" He'd never get tired of hearing that.

"I love you,"

"I love you too; tell Mama I said I love her too." She replied. "Bye,"

"I will; bye." With that he hung up the phone with a sigh and made his way to the sofa to sit beside Riza who waited expectantly. He slumped down and removed his glasses to rub his face.

"She was fine I take?" Riza asked.

Roy nodded.

"I told you so." She said with a smile.

Roy sighed and met her lips. "Alright, so you did." He replied and kissed her again.


	9. Chapter 7: What stays in the kitchen

**Chapter Seven:**

Lily sat upon the toilet in the Curtis's bathroom reading her red dyed, leather bound journal. Edward had had the good sense to throw it in with her clothes, even said he thought she'd like to have it. Thankfully he had the enough respect for her not to take a peak at it and little did he know what kind of secrets she wrote inside with ink and pen.

It was a thick volume, just started a few months ago. Her daily journal, one she didn't really write in, was back home. This one was her alchemy journal and it had theories and notes from Alphonse, Edward, her father, and herself and tonight she rubbed her temple trying to think of something, anything from all these notes, the three brilliant male minds of her life.

She sighed. After staring at all of their theorems, their thoughts, and ideas there still wasn't anything concrete in human transmutation that she could see of any use. She didn't need to transmute an entire body; she didn't even need to transmute anything as she first thought. What she needed to do was remove something without killing her mother and prevent it from re-growing and keep from damaging her. Well if she had to transmute a new body for her mother she would, she'd do what ever it took… Even her own life, what was her life anyway but a female mock up of her father.

Her father didn't need her, he needed Riza. He needed her mother more than even he knew. Lily could see it and it wasn't just because she was his second in command, his right hand. Riza was his firm ground, his companion, maybe even his sanity, his heart. She'd die to see to it he had all those things with him to keep him going for the rest of his life.

Closing the book, she rose slowly and glanced in the mirror. She felt nothing when looking at her reflection, no happiness, no sadness, nothing and it startled her. She was… numb again and it was frightening in a way she couldn't describe. The only way to fix that, the only way she knew was to cause physical harm to her body. She couldn't exactly do that here, not safely anyway.

So she left the bathroom and placed her journal in her room before heading for the kitchen.

As she passed by Edward's room she peaked in. There he lay, sleeping curled upon his side and typically he slept a little on the hard side. Looked like this was one of those nights. She could probably crawl in next to him and he'd not even wake. Well maybe later, at the moment she was a little thirsty.

Quietly she slipped down the stairs, careful of Logan who for some reason was up and exploring his new surroundings. The Fox happily trotted after her yipping quietly.

Lily smiled flipping on the kitchen light. "Are you hungry Logan?" She whispered.

"You're up late, something bothering you?" Izumi asked with a sleepy smile, startling Lily.

"No, just thirsty."

Izumi rose from her seat and went to the ice box. "I'll get you some milk."

"Water's fine for me but I think Logan might like some milk. Ever since he was a kit he's liked it. Yuck."

Izumi nodded. "Edward told me not to give you milk, that you hated it as much as he did."

Lily frowned, taking a seat at the table. "When did he say that?"

"After you went to bed." Izumi replied and pulled a small saucer from the cabinet. She poured a little milk for Logan and placed it upon the floor. "He said many nice things about you."

"Oh," Lily whispered. "Seems everyone has something nice to say about me."

Izumi rose and fixed Lily water then returned to the table with a sigh. "Is that wrong?"

Lily shrugged. "I don't know, no it's a good thing I guess. But I'm not perfect, I make mistakes."

"We all do. Did you get up simply because to were thirsty?"

Lily shook her head admiring Izumi Curtis. She was a very beautiful woman, strong, that was something Lily had sensed right away. She was also kind, caring, and stern. The way she lectured Edward before dinner had been nothing short of showing to Lily that she loved Edward and had missed him very much.

"So what's bothering you?"

"Nothing really,"

"What's said in this kitchen stays in this kitchen Lily, it's how it's always been. You're worried about your mother aren't you?" she asked.

Lily turned her slanted eyes to Logan who was happily lapping up the milk. "She's the only real mother I've ever known. My mom was killed in Ishbal, Daddy couldn't save her. I guess I'm scared of losing her. She's always been… She was my mom before she and my Daddy were married."

Izumi nodded and moved to sit beside her. "You know even if something happens to her, she loves you, that will never change. She'll still be your mother and you'll have all the memories of her."

Lily lifted her eyes to Izumi's and took a shuddering breath. "They lied to me, said she was fine but she's not."

"Your parents didn't want to worry you."

Tears escaped Lily's eyes. The numbness had suddenly faded and all the pain inside of her that only came out when she cut herself seeped out but did not explode like she wished it would. "But-"

"Shhhh, little one." Izumi said softly and wiped the tears away. "This is something that's out of your hands. There isn't anything you can do to help her except love her and that will mean more than anything, she'll need that the most. Life only flows one direction."

"I know, I just wish there was something I could do to keep her. I know one day I'd have to say g-goodbye but she's supposed to grow old with my Daddy. She means so much to him, h-he needs her. I-I need her."

Izumi's warm arms wrapped around her. "It'll be alright, even if she passes, you've got two strong brothers and from what I hear a good father. You'll make it if you stick together and help each other. It will ache for a long time but you know what?"

She was so warm, smelled so good, different; she didn't smell like Sable or Riza, but still comforting. "Huh?"

"There are good doctors out there and with the connections the military has I bet they'll be able to find someone who might be able to help her. You should think on that."

"Maybe," Lily breathed. "But I've looked, spent so much time as soon as I knew, talked to some doctors, read alchemy texts… What good is alchemy and medicine of they can't fix her?!" She nearly shrieked.

"Sometimes there isn't an answer Lily."

Lily shuddered, remember something a doctor Hiasen had told her, though he promised not to tell her parents she'd been to him to ask. "Her doctor said he might have to cut her head open and try to remove the growth to make it go away. He explained everything to me, how it'd be done, recovery time, and she might not be the same, might not be able to return to duty. How is that better?"

"I don't know," Izumi replied. "I think you're going to have to find your own answers. I can't give you solutions, it wouldn't be right and I might give you the wrong ones."

"I don't want her to die but I don't want her to lose herself. I don't want her to not know… or feel empty or worthless. She's so amazing and strong, beautiful, and…" Lily choked, sobbing. "I want my mommy to be alright."

Edward hid behind the entrance wall to the kitchen, listening. Anger filled him, hurt. He was glad that Lily could find someone to confine in, felt safe in doing so but it hurt that she didn't feel like she could come to him anymore.

The anger… anger was for Roy and Riza, for them not telling them the truth, for making them have to find out the hard way. For making it hurt that much worse, angry that he was just as frightened as his sister because Riza was like a second mother right there with Izumi. He couldn't bear to lose either of those two to a painful death, not like his mom. He wanted to see them both grow old, have lived full lives, not die young.

He sighed with a heavy heart and knocked upon the kitchen door. "May I come in or is this an anti-Edward conversation?"

Lily lifted her head from Izumi's shoulder, wiping her face. "You can come in."

Ed smiled and sat across from them. "Hey,"

"Hey," She whispered, wiping her face again as the tears didn't seem to want to stop. He wished she wouldn't do that. If she needed to cry, she should cry instead of holding it all in… boy was he a hypocrite. Still, he wanted her to vent, scream, cry like a baby, what ever it took. He just wanted something to come from her but his silence she'd been in. No he wanted her to talk to him, he needed her too.

"Are you hungry you didn't eat much at dinner or lunch, or breakfast for that matter? I'm hungry." He turned hopeful eyes upon his teacher.

Lily smiled. "You're always hungry Ed."

"There's leftovers in the icebox, amazingly enough. I'm surprised you didn't wolf them down at dinner." Izumi replied.

Ed merely shrugged. "Eh, can't help it, I've got a fast metabolism or so Dr. Hiasen says." He got up and walked over to the icebox to take a look. They'd had fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. They'd be cold but with Sige and Izumi's cooking that never mattered, it always tasted great. "So Lily, hungry?"

"Mm, a little."

""K, let's see," Ed said, reaching for the container holding the chicken. His eyes caught sight of something dark brown a shelf up and he grinned. That was perfect, he loved chocolate cake and so did Lily, almost more than he did, and she was a chocolate fiend. "Ah ha, the one food in the world you'll kill for."

Lily snorted. "You must be talking about chocolate and I wouldn't say kill for, just knock you out of the way of."

Ed grinned, pulling the cake from the shelf, and closed the door. He grabbed three forks and a long knife, then three small plates and retook his seat at the table. "Here we go."

Izumi perked a brow. This was obviously not her first choice in late night snacks but she snatched the knife from his hand and began to cut and dish them each a piece.

"We'd get into so much trouble for this back home." Ed said after thanking Izumi for his piece. "Mom would kick out asses or shoot us."

"And Alphonse would lecture us about eating in the middle of the night, not too much though." Lily said with a sigh.

"And Dad would be right there with us. You know sometimes he's just as bad as us."

"Sometimes worse." Lily said with a smirk.

Ed nodded, glancing at Izumi. His teacher merely smiled and took a bite of her slice. Ed glanced around the kitchen, finding Logan before a dish of milk. "Hey Lily,"

"Hmm,"

"What did you and Dad talk about tonight?"

"You're being nosey," She replied with a wry smile.

"Yeah so?"

Lily frowned, cleared her throat, then scratched her head. "He asked if I was okay, wanted to know if I wanted to go back to finishing school when we went home."

"Do you?" Edward asked.

"Doesn't seem to matter what I want does it?" She asked with a perked brow. "You don't want me attending and Daddy does. I think this is something the two of you are going to have to work out without my help. I'm just a lemming." She pushed her slice of half finished cake toward him and rose. "I'm going to bed. thank you Izumi, for letting me talk to you."

Before Edward could get up, Lily had passed him and was hurrying up the stairs. _Lemming_? That was like saying she was a dog of the military but she wasn't, not yet anyway. She didn't sound angry when she'd spoken but… that didn't mean a thing.

"I clean up Edward, go talk to her." Izumi said softly.

Ed nearly leapt from his seat and followed Lily's path up the stairs and found her curled up in her bed.

Sighing, he approached her and sat beside her. "Hey can I sleep with you tonight?" He asked, trying something new.

She moved over to allow him the room.

Edward whispered a thank you and lay beside her, wrapping an arm around her middle. He caught a whiff of her hair and smiled. "You smell nice."

"I had a bath," she replied, turning over beneath his arm. "Lay on your back big brother."

Ed smirked, "Demanding aren't we?"

"Now,"

He snorted and did as asked, letting Lily scoot closer and rest her head upon his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back.

"You're really warm Ed,"

"So are you, are you cold?" he asked. Lily nodded, sniffling and Ed reached for the blankets. "You okay?"

"Mm,"

"Come on, you used to tell me everything."

"Tired," she whispered.

Ed sighed and stared at the cracking ceiling paint above them. There was a new water spot in this room and it was annoying him, adding to his annoyance that his own sister couldn't talk to him anymore. It hurt, made him feel a little empty, helpless, worthless. It was like she's lost faith in him, lost the faith that he was her older brother and could fix almost anything.

Or no, perhaps she didn't want anyone to fix things for her; maybe she wanted to fix things on her own. She was pretty independent when it came to some things. "Hey tomorrow I'll take you to Yok Island, it's a nice place. I got bit by a fox there when I was little."

"Really, and you're okay with Logan?"

Where was that fur ball anyway? Ed wondered. Usually he was with Lily. As if talking about him or thinking about him summoned him, the fox leapt upon the bed eyeing him with his black eyes, then curled up at their feet.

"He's never bitten me." He replied.

"Ed?"

"Yeah,"

Lily shifted closer if that was even possible, her fingers running over the buttons of his pajama top. "I love you,"

"I love you too," He replied.

"Are you scared for Mama too?"

Ed nodded, his brows furrowing. "I wish you'd told me about that sooner Lily."

"Sorry,"

"It's okay, we'll figure something out."

"She can't die,"

"Everyone dies Lily. We're born to die."

"I know but she can't die, not yet. Not when…"

"Not when what?" Ed asked softly. "Because you need her? We all need her, doesn't seem to stop nature or that bastard god or what ever it is that decides when people have to leave those they love." He almost snarled. This whole bit, Riza being sick, no one telling him, their parents hiding it from them, it just… It fucking pissed him off.

He sighed. "Is that why you won't do any alchemy, because you know alchemy can't fix her?"

"A little…" Her hand slipped up his chest to his shoulder where she tangled her fingertips in his long blonde hair. "Your hair is pretty, like a sunflower."

"Would you stop changing the subject?" He half snapped, breathily. "That's not going to work here."

"That's what you think," Lily replied coldly and lifted her upper half up. She caught hold of his chin and pressed her lips to his for a moment then lay back down. "Good night big brother."

Ed lay there blinking, stunned. Did she just… she did just kiss him. "Li-"

Lily snorted. "Pay back is a bitch isn't it?"

Oh he couldn't see her face but he could picture it in his head and he knew she had that evil Roy Mustang smirk planted upon her lips, a sadistic light of mirth in her eyes. It was that, 'Hm, cat got your tongue Ed?' look.

"Brat,"

"Oh is that all you can come up with? Guess you're not quite the genius everyone thinks you are. Well night,"

"Hey!"

She giggled and snuggled up to him.

"He was my age, the cradle robber." He muttered.

"So,"

"I swear you're just as bad as Dad."


	10. Chapter 8: A dash of hope

**Chapter 8: A dash of hope**

Edward waited patiently and quietly, leaning against the wall beside Lily the next morning while she placed and call to Central. He yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as Izumi passed them and headed toward the kitchen counter to begin breakfast.

"Hello, is Dr. Hiasen in this morning?" Lily asked sleepily.

Ed smiled lazily. Lily sounded positively cute first thing in the morning when she was still half asleep and this morning was no exception. He had no idea how long she'd been up last night before coming to the kitchen, but it must have been longer than a mere hour for she looked more than ready to crawl back in bed and sleep away the morning.

However, when he'd awoken this morning he'd decided that they'd start to put his idea into action. As far as Lily was concerned, they were here for adventure and, as he'd told her this morning, to look for this Doctor Henry Talbot and any other doctors that might be able to help Riza. As far as Roy and Riza were concerned Ed and Lily were here to discover what it was that was bothering Lily and get her to spill it so she could move on. Only Izumi, Sige, and Mason knew the truth, that it was all of that. He had a lot of work cut out for him and he didn't think too much time to complete it.

The pendulum was swinging heavily upon his heart and getting heavier and closer to ceasing every day. Once it stopped, Edward sensed it would be the end of everything he'd grown to love and cherish in these eight semi-peaceful years. He didn't think he could bear suffering like that again and if he couldn't… His amber eyes glanced to Lily; he didn't think she'd survive it. Oh she was tough, made it through a traumatic experience as a mere child, but he didn't know how she'd fair with losing someone so close to her. She still had issues with abandonment, issues he didn't think would ever fade.

Lily nodded and nodded again, hiding a yawn behind her hand before tucking her long shinny hair behind her ear. "And you promise not to tell my parents a thing?"

Suddenly she glared and for some reason to Edward it was worse than any previous glare. He could feel the flames of hell rising up to doom the world and she didn't even know much flame alchemy yet. He shuddered involuntarily.

"What do you mean you're going to tell my father? Dr. Hiasen…" there was a long pause and Edward shifted.

Lily perked a brow and Ed glanced to Izumi. His teacher was watching from the stove where she had an egg poised over the skillet ready to crack it. Suddenly Lily sighed in relief. "Thank you, I'll owe you one for this. Edward and I are only trying to help her. Good bye." And she hung up the phone. "From what Dr. Hiasen could dig up, it looks like Dr. Talbot is here in the south, in Kishuwa but he's not sure. He could also be in Larneth."

Ed nodded if they left after breakfast they could get in a cab since that would be more discreet than the train. Roy would have people watching the train lines now that he had their location and well Southern Headquarters wasn't that far from here, he wouldn't doubt that their father had contacts down here. However that would be a bit expensive…

Hmm… Maybe they could hitch a ride part of the way and walk some of the time and catch a cab on the way back. That would due; it would also be more generous upon both their pocket books. Roy only gave Lily an allowance and while it covered cab faire in Central and the occasional book, a meal out, and even some shopping, it wasn't that much, not that Lily ever really spent a lot of it, no she had most of it saved up in bank account.

And he certainly didn't get an allowance, just a pay check and funding for alchemy and while he wasn't a big spender, he still didn't have a lot, especially if they had to make a trip to two different cities and catch a ride home on the train. Also he liked to leave room for emergencies because he never knew what might happen.

He nodded again and pointed upstairs. "Go take a bath or what ever you need to do. After breakfast we're moving out."

Lily smirked. "So cute Big Brother, you're starting to sound like Daddy."

Ed twitched. "Am not,"

"Hmmm," was all she said before lifting Logan from his new favorite place, before the fresh dish of milk, milk Izumi had slipped him. He yipped and squirmed and Lily sighed before placing him upon the floor. "You're spoiled,"

Ed rolled his eyes and shook his head, moving to help Izumi with breakfast. Lily left them and he could feel his teacher's eyes upon him as he reached for the plates.

"You're leaving today," she said.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Be careful Ed, I promised your father I would look after you."

"We're just going to look for a doctor, but…" He glanced back to see if Lily was near. "I won't let anything happen to her again."

* * *

Ed glanced back at Lily to see if she was keeping up. They decided it would be best to leave Logan with Izumi since he didn't think they could catch a ride with a fox even if he was on a leash.

She was, in fact she was right behind him, sweat beading her face and neck as much as it was beading his. Damn it was hot down here. He was warmer in the south and that was a given, but he hadn't thought it would be this hot.

"Want some water?" he asked.

Lily nodded and held out her hand for their canteen. Ed passed it along after digging it from the small bag of food he'd brought for their excursion. He paused in the road and waited for his turn. When he was finished he put it away. "Sorry we had to walk so far. I thought we'd get a longer ride."

She shrugged. "It's okay, you think he'll be in Kishuwa?"

Ed shrugged. Larneth had been empty of all things Dr. Talbot related. Oh he'd been there once a few months ago, stayed about a month helping out in the small hospital, but then he'd left and that had been six months ago. "I hope so, if not then we're back to square one."

He sighed as Lily moved over to the side of the dirt road and sat upon the ground. "If you're tired there's a tree up ahead, at least there you'll have some shade." She looked hot, tired, and kind of sad. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Lily shrugged again and pulled her knees up under her chin. "Will we stay in Kishuwa for the night?"

Brows furrowed, Ed plopped down beside her. "Yeah, it's too far to walk back and I don't think we could get a ride, even a cab this far out. Hungry?"

"No," she paused. "Daddy was drinking the other night. We have to find Dr. Talbot Ed, we have too."

He turned to her and met frightened obsidian eyes. He couldn't say they would, couldn't lie because who knew if they would. But he didn't know what to say that wasn't a lie or what could turn out to be a lie. "We'll do our best; it's all we can do."

"I feel like if we lose Mom we lose Daddy too." She breathed. "and even though Alphonse said I could come over anytime…"

A little wounded, Ed slipped his arm around her shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere, you'll still have me. Besides I won't let Dad lose himself at the bottom of a bottle, not when he's got us. And we'll try for Mom, we're not done yet Lily. We still have options to look at."

"Like what? Human transmutation?" She asked.

Ed stiffened; she was old enough to know now, the truth any way, all of it. "No, we can't… I know you want to, but we just can't Lily. I've been there and tried it. I tried to bring back my mother, but I lost my arm and leg, and Al's body instead. It only caused more pain for us. It's dangerous."

"Okay," she whispered but Ed didn't think that was the end of it.

"Lily, promise me you won't."

She shifted and lay her head upon his shoulder. "I promise, I won't big brother."

"Okay, so are you ready?" He asked. He'd feel much more at ease if they got away from the human transmutation subject. If she was asking about then she'd probably already looked into it and that scared the shit out of him.

Lily nodded and they rose, dusting the dirt from their clothes, and then started walking again.

When they arrived in Kishuwa Ed kept an eye on his little sister. She'd never really been exposed to poverty before and Kishuwa was a very poor town. He also kept an eye upon her because there were Ishbalin's here, many in fact. An Ishbalin had killed her mother, he had no idea how she's react if one approached her, since she'd never seen one in person.

As they walked through town, he kept his eyes open for an inn and for anything that might look like a hospital or clinic while the eyes of the town's people watched them pass.

Suddenly he felt very alone and turned to find Lily a few paces back, kneeling down to pick up a sadly half flat, round ball that had apparently rolled near her feet.

"Sorry Miss," a little Ishbalin boy said, running over to retrieve it.

Ed stilled as Lily looked from the ball to the boy then relaxed as she smiled and held it out.

"That's alright," She replied. "What game are you playing?"

"Football," The boy replied with a blushing smile.

"Are you winning?" She asked.

"Tommy come here," A man called.

The boy turned, "Just a minute Dad,"

"No now," The man ordered sternly.

"I gotta go, see ya." The boy said and ran off to join a tall Ishbalin man waiting with some kids. The man didn't look too happy and immediately began to scold his son in not so hushed tones about talking to strangers, though Ed bet it there was more to it.

Ed eased back to his sister's side and took her hand. "Come on,"

"I wanted to fix their ball," Lily replied as he tugged upon her hand, urging her away.

"That's not a good idea, not here anyway. We shouldn't use any alchemy here. The Ishbalin's-"

"Don't like it, I know. It goes against what their God mandates. I just,"

"I know," Ed replied with a smile. He couldn't blame her for wanting to make the ball better; it would be a very nice thing to do, however, it might get them into trouble.

They found the inn not to long later. It was pretty shabby just like everything else but Lily took an immediate liking to it. There were some Ishbalin relics along one wall, probably a shrine. She didn't touch them, just smiled and admired them. The inn keep seemed a little nervous as then Lily turned to them. "Look big brother this is Ishbala. Even though it's at least one hundred and fifty years old it's still in prime condition and so lovely."

Ed smiled, looking at the statue rimmed with gold. "Yeah, you ready to get some rest now?" He scratched his head. "I think you're making people nervous."

Lily nodded. "Sure," She came to his side and took his hand then followed him up the creaky staircase.

As soon as Ed got in the room he locked the door then sealed it with alchemy.

"Well that's a little excessive don't you think?" Lily asked from behind him.

"Maybe," Ed replied. "But let's eat some dinner, take baths, and get some rest. You can shower or take a bath first."

* * *

The next morning found Ed and Lily both rising late and eating a meager meal in the lobby of the inn and it was food Ed had packed, crackers and cheese. Thankfully before they'd left, and thanks to Al's invention of ice packs to keep things cool, their breakfast wasn't spoiled.

"We'll have to get some supplies." Ed commented.

Lily nodded with a bright smile, the kind she used to smile. "Alright,"

Ed perked a brow. "You're awfully chipper this morning."

"Well we're going to find Dr. Talbot this morning and then Mom will be okay right?"

Ed wet his lips and reached for his glass of water. "Uh, Lily,"

She shushed him and waved him away with her hand. "I know I shouldn't get my hopes up big brother."

He nodded, feeling eyes upon them. It was the innkeeper and that Ishbalin man from yesterday afternoon, they were whispering. Those two had been watching them for the last five or so minutes since they'd come down from their room. He didn't like it.

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but overhear you mention Dr. Talbot." The innkeeper said, finally making his way over to them.

Lily smiled that charming Mustang smile. "Oh yes you could, you just didn't want too, but why do ask?"

The man was quiet a moment then sat himself down upon the arm rest of Ed's chair. Ed didn't like him being so close but if he had information, he could and would tolerate it.

"You're a clever girl, what brings you to see the good doctor?"

Lily perked a brow with a smirk. "Well if you were eavesdropping then you already know, don't you?"

_Damn_, Ed thought, maybe he should have her along to handle all the socializing during his missions… since Al seemed to think him… inept in that department. He wasn't inept; he just didn't like dancing around with people. He just didn't have the time to waste. But his sister was doing pretty good for this morning.

Now the Ishbalin man made his way over. "Pardon, you said your mother was sick."

"She is," Lily replied. "Her doctor thinks the assistance of Dr. Talbot is needed."

"That'll be a little difficult since the Doctor has… retired." The Ishbalin replied.

"Retired?" Ed asked. "Well he can un-retire long enough to help our mother, we won't take no for an answer."

"Brother," Lily said softly. "Do you know where he lives so we might speak with him? If he doesn't want to come with us then we won't bother him anymore."

Ed had to pass her a discreet smile, she was so sincere and maybe it wasn't an act but he'd be damned if they didn't return with the man. He didn't want to watch Lily and Roy fall, didn't want himself of Al to have to feel the pain of burying another mother so soon.

The innkeeper and the Ishbalin man exchanged glances.

"What?" Ed asked.

"I'll take you to see the doctor." The Ishbalin man replied. "This way,"

If Edward and Lily expected to be led to a small clinic or even a house or a shack as most of the residences were, they were greatly mistaken. Instead the Ishbalin man led them to the town cemetery and pointed to a lonely grave with the name Talbot inscribed upon its limestone surface.

"This is where the doctor resides now." The Ishbalin said coldly. "He's dead so you came for nothing."

Ed blinked in astonishment. Dead?! He turned to find the Ishbalin man gone. He turned from left to right, looked behind him but the man was no where to be found. That wasn't enough! He wanted answers.

"He was so cold about it Edward… So cold and unfeeling as if Dr. Talbot didn't mean anything, was just a passerby with no value at all, another face in the crowd." Lily's voice said and it held such sorrow.

"Lily," He began but she slowly fell to her to her knees upon the grave. "We'll… we'll find someone else. We've still got time and Dr. Hiasen won't give up."

"No, I don't suppose he will. Daddy won't let him, but…"

Ed knelt beside her. "But what?" _Come on Lily don't give up now, we've barely started, there's still time._

Lily shook her head. "I… She's suffering… How many dead ends will there be before she doesn't have to be in pain anymore?" she turned to him. "Ed you saw her, you saw!"

Caught up in her desperation and heavily leaking emotions, feeling them as well, Ed held her face in his hands. "I did see but I'm not going to stop trying or give up the hope that she'll make it, that'll we'll find something to save her. We just have to get up and move to the next possibility."

"But what is there?!" She shouted. "Hiasen didn't give us anymore doctors to find!"

The sound of a foot shifting upon the gravel sounded behind them and Ed turned. The Ishbalin man was back. "What do you want?" He snapped.

"Your mother really is sick?"

"Yeah, what do you care?" Ed bit.

The Ishbalin pointed to Ed's pocket. "We thought you were from the state, poking into Talbot's matters. He was killed not too long ago. No one saw anything or heard anything. His house was ransacked and it looked like someone broke in and like he put up a fight. Since there are a lot of Ishbalin's here like me, we've all been a little on edge. It would be easy for the state to pin it all on us especially since Talbot used to work for the state. Come on back to the inn, we'll talk more there."

Lily was up before Ed could say a word, much less move himself. A million questions ran through his head all at once but he followed them to the inn.

He got the full story on Talbot, not that there was really anything more than what the Ishbalin told him. Then he told them about Riza. They didn't have any information to help them, let alone knew of another doctor with in twenty miles. They didn't even have a doctor for the town anymore.

There wasn't anything more to do here, nothing more to say, Talbot was dead and they'd return home empty handed. So Ed and Lily grabbed their suitcase ate lunch and made way out of town. If they could make it to Larneth before the sun set they could snag a carriage or a cab to Dublith.

* * *

They made it by late afternoon and stopped long enough to dine in small restaurant. Lily hadn't really said anything but Ed really didn't think she would. She looked as depressed and disappointed as he felt and even he didn't feel like talking. He wished Alphonse were here with them.

Getting a cab wasn't going to happen, all the cabs were either out of town or being used for the town. So their only option was the train or a carriage ride.

Ed smiled as they stood outside the carriage station. "I know you haven't ever ridden in a carriage. The seats aren't always so comfortable but at least it's something different and new. Bet those girls at your school can't say they've ridden in one of these."

Lily smirked. "No they can't, they're city girls and wouldn't dream of roughing it in the boondocks."

Ed perked a brow as he pulled his wallet from his pocket and headed for the payment window. "You trying to tell me something?"

"Just pay the faire, I'm tired and would like a nap."

Ed nodded and requested the next carriage to Dublith, which was to leave in ten minutes and paid. They weren't lucky to have the carriage to themselves. There was a small family of three riding with them, so he and Lily couldn't really talk.

* * *

Roy hung up the phone with a heavy sigh. He wasn't used to this… quietness, this stillness within his home. Sure Black Hyate was having fun in chasing Al's cat Janie when ever he thought no one was paying attention, but it really all was just play, not that Janie was ever in the mood. She only seemed to want to sleep, eat, and be petted. Al sure had her spoiled.

And Runa, Lily's three legged kitten had searched the house over and over again calling for, who he wasn't sure. He gave her as much attention as he could when he could find her and yesterday he'd rescued her from the top shelf in his study.

Wynn the owl seemed to do just fine on her own and did a great job of keeping the mice from the house. The fish were, well they were fish always swimming around and around.

The only house guests to come were the Hughes's and Jason Mathews, who Roy still wasn't too comfortable with. The boy was nice enough but there was something about him… It didn't really register until he'd had time to really mentally examine his visit to the house the second time and his awed interest in his daughter. There was something very strange in the way he seemed so… should he say fascinated with learning that Lily was an alchemist, wanting to know little things.

He shook his head wither way the house seemed so still without Lily, Ed, and Alphonse here to whisper and laugh, fill it with their voices and sounds. It was all so peaceful and hushed. Riza never had been a loud person and lately, she'd been staying home more often, staying in bed to rest. And she wasn't quite herself. It made him feel terribly alone and useless… frightened.

And now this. What ever it was Edward was showing Lily, not that Izumi offered any real detail, sure was taking a long time. It had been almost four days since he'd last spoken with them. Four days. It was too long, even Alphonse had called every two just to talk, to inquire how everyone was.

He didn't like this.

"Roy?" Riza's soft voice called from the entrance way of the den.

He turned with a smile as he was always happy to see her, even when she came bearing paperwork. And tonight she stood there, golden hair down, leaning against the archway in a cream colored, satin night gown. It was the one he'd given her for her birthday a few years ago. "You're up awfully late, shouldn't you be in bed?"

Riza gave him a soft smile. "It's a little lonely without you there to keep me warm. Did you talk to them?"

Roy shook his head and made his way toward her, touching a lock of her soft hair. It always amazed him, the color, the way it always shinned and never dulled. The way it always felt like soft satin or silk in between his fingers and upon his face. How it smelled of jasmine. Lily's hair smelled of jasmine now, some shampoo Riza had always used and always liked. Lily had wanted to smell like her stepmother when she was little, had wanted to smell pretty.

Roy remembered that conversation one winter evening. Ed and Al had been away on assignment and Lily had been sitting in the bathroom watching Riza brush her hair after a bath. She'd asked Riza how she always smelled so pretty, like flowers. Riza had smiled and informed her, it was her shampoo and soap and then told her she could used the shampoo and soap when ever she wanted.

It was a funny thing, all the women in his life always smelled of jasmine. His mother, Sable, Riza, and from that night on Lily. But he'd never come across many others who chose that fragrance. Perhaps it was a sign, not that he really believed in such unscientific things.

"No, Izumi said they were exploring Yok Island. Apparently there aren't any phones there."

"Well I'm sure they'll have many stories to tell us when they come home." She frowned. "Where is Yok Island?"

Roy blinked a moment in confusion. She knew where it was, Ed had told her once when talking about Izumi and Riza had one very sharp mind and memory. He told her anyway, noting it as something to tell Dr. Hiasen later. There had been a few other instances where Riza asked questions to answers she knew the answers too but seemed to not be able to remember, simple things, and even some everyday things. And those head aches, the vomiting, it had only worsened in the time Ed and Lily had left. "Near Dublith,"

"Oh," She smiled and touched his cheek. "Come to bed?"

He closed the remaining distance between them, his heart a little heavy, and kissed her soft lips. "Missed you," He whispered and took her mouth again with a tone of deep desire and passion that embodied the love her felt for her. "Love you,"

"I love you too, we're alone tonight." She breathed against his lips.

"You don't have to ask." He replied and stopped enough to lift her. Then he carried her up the stairs and to their bedroom.

* * *

"How are you doing?" Daniel Carter asked the young man across the table. He looked so much like his father it was uncanny so almost hard to believe that he was the son of that vile woman. "It's been awhile since I've seen you, you sure have grown."

The young man shrugged and adjusted his glasses. "I've been moving around and on my own for awhile. I got a good job now and am doing pretty well. I work at the Zoo in accounting. How are you?"

Daniel smiled, shifting and scratching his arm. What ever the laundry people were using now on these prison uniforms sure made his skin itch. "I'm doing well. I'm happy for you Jason."

"May I ask you something?" Jason asked.

"Sure,"

"Did you really love my mother?"

Daniel sighed and rubbed his face. "Yes, I did. But she did some things that…"

"I know what she did," Jason muttered. "And I know what she did to me. No one ever has to remind me of that."

Daniel reached across the table and rested his hand upon Jason's folded hands. "What are you trying to say?"

Jason shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. She cast me away like trash so why were you trying to get her to accept me when she didn't want me?"

"Because you're her son Jason."

"She wasn't fit,"

"Maybe not, but she must have loved you enough to mention you to me." Daniel replied. This had always been the struggle with Jason. Always the 'why' questions. Hell if he knew what was going through Anise's mind. The woman he'd thought he'd know turned out to be a monster. As it stood it had been a good thing Jason had never lived with her.

"Why did she abandon me and take my cousin?"

How did he know about Lily? Did someone tell him or did he learn about it through his own digging after disappearing before that whole mess of Mustang getting his daughter back began? He'd certainly never told Jason about Lily out of fear of hurting the boy. He'd intended to make some sort of deal where it was kept quiet, hoped Roy Mustang would understand it was for Jason's sake and go with it, hell he'd intended upon marrying Anise before learning what she really was.


	11. Chapter 9: Little Sister's Truth

**Chapter Nine: Little sister's secret truth**

The arrival into Dublith was marked by the setting sun and Edward waking Lily. She'd fallen asleep with her head upon his shoulder and how she slept for the better part of the afternoon on this rocky, bumpy ride, Edward couldn't fathom. He certainly couldn't and now his rear was asleep and his lower back ached.

They said nothing and maybe there was nothing to say, he couldn't think of a thing, nothing hopeful, and nothing happy… He'd been trying to think of something to tell Lily, something to tell himself to help their mother but he just couldn't come up with anything. He didn't know how to fix her and knew alchemy wasn't going to do it.

Izumi met them at her front door, arms folded over her chest. She gave them a once over then sighed. "You didn't find him,"

"We did, he's dead." Lily replied softly. "May I take a bath?"

Izumi nodded and gave Lily a gentle hug before she'd let them pass. Ed flopped down upon the sofa, beside Sige with a heavy sigh. "Your father called," Sige said gruffly.

Ed nodded. "I'll call him back, what'd you tell him?"

"That you took Lily to Yok Island." Izumi replied.

Ed scratched his cheek then rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted, drained, and just wanted to take a bath then collapse into a real bed. I'll take her tomorrow morning so we don't have to lie to him and it won't make you into a liar."

"Edward," she said.

"What's for dinner?" He asked, slowly dragging himself into a standing position.

"Edward," this time when she spoke it was more of a warning and he knew what she wanted but he didn't want to discuss this, not right now.

He sighed and wondered why he wasn't hearing any bath water. "There's nothing to talk about. We went, we saw, we came back empty handed and disappointed and now I'm at a loss. I'll have to call Dr. Hiasen in the morning and see what else he's got."

Barking, loud distressed sounded from upstairs and they all looked toward the stair case. Ed frowned. Logan never barked unless something was wrong and there shouldn't be anything wrong, he and Lily were the only two up there.

"I'll be right back," Ed said.

"Edward,"

Ed waved his hand behind him before he hit the stairs, jogging up. "Lily, are you okay?" he called.

There was no answer from her but Logan bounded from the bathroom and latched his teeth into his pant leg as soon as he made the second floor and began to tug, growling.

"Alright Logan," He replied trying to move around the fox. This was the strangest behavior he'd seen from the animal. It made the hair rise upon the back of his neck, his breath come shorter, and a strange sense of fear began to build inside his heart.

"Lily, Lily!" He tried the door. It was locked.

"Brother," She called in a panicked voice only lifting Ed's own panic. "I need you!"

"Unlock the door!" He shouted.

"Is something wrong up there?" Izumi called.

"I can't, I can't get up. Ed _please_, god please! HELP ME!"

"Are you in the way of the door?" He didn't know what was going on but his sister's plea scared the crap out of him. She'd never called out to him in such a way before. It was worse than when she was scared.

"No, hurry _please_!"

Ed lifted his leg and kicked in the door as hard as he could. The hinges gave way, the wood splintered and collapsed into the bathroom just as Izumi made the top step.

At first he thought he might have hit Lily as she was bent over, sitting upon the toilet, but then he saw the dark scarlet blood seeping from in between her fingers, fingers clamped over her lower thigh right above her knee. Scarlet trails ran down her right leg to the floor to pool at her feet and it was still coming, flowing like he'd just turned on the water to wash his hands. Not at high power but not trickling either. And lying next to her feet was the pocket knife Al had given her for her birthday last year.

"What the…" he breathed. No, his earlier suspicions couldn't be true… could they?

Lily lifted her heard, tears streaming down her fair cheeks. "I really did it this time brother. I just wanted to-"

Izumi shoved Edward to the side and yanked a towel from the towel rack just above the toilet. "No time for talking. Ed can you carry her?"

Ed nodded, watching in mild fascinated horror as the blood soaked through the towel Izumi was tying around Lily's slender leg. It was… He'd lost almost that much blood when he'd tried to bring his mother back and lost his leg. If they didn't get Lily to… She was going to DIE!

The last thought was all Edward needed; the strike to his heart was all it took to get him moving. He waited while Izumi tied another towel around Lily's leg, as tight as she could. Lily didn't even whimper, just reached for him and held on tight as he hurried from the bathroom and toward the stairs.

Everything turned into a rushed blur of motion. All he could think about as he turned himself as numb as he could be, was that he'd once again let Roy Mustang down and Roy was going to kill him for this. He should have been paying more attention, should have… He didn't know what. All he did know was that Lily wasn't going to die before he did, he didn't care what she wanted or what she thought. He wasn't going to let her go, not now, not when she had so much ahead of her.

To Ed's great relief Lily made it to the small Dublith hospital and there was a doctor and nurse present. They took her from him and even allowed him to stay in the room, not that he'd be parted from her. He didn't even remember when she'd passed out, how long it had taken for him to run the two blocks here, or that Izumi and Sige had been on his heels. All he did know was Lily looked deathly pale, all color gone from her face and there was so much blood.

The blood, he'd seem so much in his life but… hers was everywhere even upon him, staining his white dress shirt, her dress. God it was even in her long black hair.

Just what the hell was going on with her to make her ever want to do something like this?!

The doctor shoved him aside. "You need to stand back, we don't have much time." And as if the scene before Ed was heart breaking and confusing enough, the nurse moved her hand and a small arc of blood shot into the air and splattered in a vivid mess upon the table.

"Damn it Carrie; keep your hands over the wound!" The doctor barked.

Ed swallowed and found himself backed against the starch white walls, trembling. He didn't understand, it was just so… And for the second time in Edward Elric's life, he feinted from the sight of blood and a horrid display before him.

* * *

When Edward awoke Izumi sat beside him and Sige stood at the window, looking out. He was in a very small room, in a hospital bed, the overhead light dull but much too bright for his liking.

"I would think being a Dog of the Military you'd have seen enough blood not to faint at the sight of it." Izumi said with a perked brow.

Ed rubbed his face then tried to sit up but his teacher held him down. "Lily?"

"Unconscious, but she'll live. I don't know what she was doing but she cut deep enough to slice open an artery in her leg. After the doctor closed it, stitched her up, and cleaned her up he noticed scars. Not many just a few upon her left leg. He thinks they were self inflicted and after tonight I have to agree with him."

Edward winced. He couldn't push aside the pain now, he was too… It flooded him and he wanted to cry. Anger also came and boiled up inside like a hot storm ready to explode in a torrent of steam. WHY?! Why would she do this?!

"Is there something you haven't told us?" Sige asked.

"Have you called our Dad?" Ed asked. How the hell was he going to explain this? And with what was going on with Riza… This would break Roy's heart. How could Lily do such a thing?!

"No," Izumi replied. "Not yet. I should have, but…"

"Thank you, I'll…" Ed wet his lips and tasted grime on his tongue. "I'll tell him, but I need to know why first. He has to have an explanation."

Sige turned from the window and typically he was a quiet person, letting Izumi speak, but today… "Do you really think she'll talk now Edward?"

Ed shrugged. "She doesn't have a choice, not anymore."

* * *

After being fed meager hospital food, more like cold dinner leftovers, Ed was allowed into Lily's room to sit and wait for her to wake. He wasn't going to take any refusals on the matter; Lily didn't like to be alone and certainly hated it when in the hospital. Besides, even though his anger was beginning to outweigh his internal suffering and confusion, he didn't want her out of his sight. He just didn't want to lose her let alone trust her at the moment.

He sat beside her bed watching, waiting, letting his eyes roam over the IVs, one for blood, and the other an antibiotic, inserted into her arm. Slowly he looked down at his clothes. Blood stained him, mostly his left shirt sleeve where her legs had rested upon his arm while he'd run with her. It was dark reddish brown and stiff from drying. There was blood upon his pants and some upon his chest. He wondered how much was upon Izumi's floor.

Then his thoughts strayed to why Lily would do such a thing, if it had been intentional or merely an accident. He tried to think back to the mess in the bathroom, the moments before. She'd called to him, called to him as if she were scared and even sat holding her leg with a look of whitewashed terror upon her face.

No, he decided after sometime, Lily hadn't been out to commit suicide but that still didn't explain why she'd been cutting herself in the first place. He just didn't understand it. Sure she was unhappy, even he could tell there was something bothering her after being back from his mission for a few days, but he…

He wished he could call Roy or Al… Al! No, he couldn't call Al, not yet. He couldn't worry his brother just yet, not until he had the information.

Lily let out a soft whimper, gaining his attention. Her hand pushed against his gently, weakly, and her eyes fluttered open. Her dark orbs searched the room and finally fell upon him but she didn't seem to register his presence.

"Lily," There was a harsh edge to his voice.

All he got in response was a mumble. She must have been given something, perhaps a pain suppressant.

"Daddy," she whimpered softly.

Ed felt a small tug inside his heart. Even now, even if somewhere inside of her she knew she'd be in trouble, she was still a Daddy's girl, always had been and always would be. And it was so sad, knowing that as soon as Roy learned of this, of the cutting, their father would be… Well knowing Roy he'd blame himself for not seeing it sooner, blame himself for what ever was wrong, what ever it was that made Lily think she had to do this to herself.

He cleared his throat. Well if he was ever going to get a straight answer out of her it would be now. It probably wasn't fair but it wasn't fair to their family for her to harm herself either.

"Lily,"

"Big brother,"

Ed wet his lips and calmed himself against how tiny she sounded. Then her dark eyes met his and he all but shattered to pieces all over again. That fear was back in her dulled black gaze.

"I want to go home,"

"I know," he replied quietly.

"May we go now?" she asked, seeming to sober up a little. "I don't want to be here."

Ed shook his head. "Not yet, but soon. I need you to talk to me little sister. I need you to tell me what's wrong."

Lily sighed and rolled over in the bed to face the window. He was just about to yell at her when she spoke. "I didn't mean too,"

"I gathered that, but why Lily, why?"

"You wouldn't understand."

Gritting his teeth to bite back an onslaught of screams, Ed rose from the chair and climbed into bed and as calmly as he could, he slipped his arm around her. Maybe if he just approached this gently, soothingly, he could finally get the answers. "Try me,"

Lily curled upon herself as if trying to curl into a tight ball that couldn't be undone. "I… don't know who I am. I know what people want me to be but… I'm a ghost!" She began to cry. "Brother I'm empty inside and I-I c-cant feel th-things. It w-was the o-only way, only t-thing I could con-control. Let me kn-know I was s-still alive. So scared and w-when I'm n-not I c-can't f-feel anyth-thing."

"Shhhh," He whispered. She was right he didn't understand, not entirely. But he wouldn't cut himself open as a way to know he was still alive either. The first part of it he did understand a little. At least he could see what she was trying to say.

"D-daddy's going to h-hate me. No one w-was supp-"

"Shhhh," He couldn't handle this, not right now. He couldn't listen to her cry like this, so lost, so alone, so scared. He couldn't stand to feel her body tremble like this against his, it just wasn't natural or right.

"I'm so so-sorry, it's too m-much,"

"What is?" He dared to ask.

"E-everything, I-I just wanted," She erupted in sobs and nothing was understandable from there on out, maybe a few words here and there but Ed could only make sense of a few of them. She clearly was a devastated mess and what hurt the most from what he did understand was all this time she seemed to think she couldn't talk to anyone without it bothering them, without fearing she'd interfere, felt as if she would just be adding to everyone's load.

And this entire situation wasn't solely upon her shoulders in blame, it was everyone in this family's fault for not pushing to get an answer even if it made her angry or she didn't want to talk about it. They just took her word for it and let it go.

Ed tightened his arms around her like he would a small frightened child for after all in many respects, no matter how grown up she could and had acted she was still just a little girl.

"I need you Lily. I need my little sister just as much as I need Al. It might have been an accident today but what about tomorrow? Or the next day? Lily, you _have_ to promise not to hurt yourself. I c-cant lose you or anyone else do you understand?" He said it softly and only did so as not to further upset her, even though he felt like yelling and shaking her, knocking some sense into her pretty little head.

She nodded but didn't turn over and in the end she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

Roy set the morning paper down and looked up at his sleepy, beautiful wife when he heard a knock upon the door. "You expecting someone honey?"

Riza shook her head as Black Hyate left his place beside her and ran to the foyer. "No,"

He nodded and rose to get the door. When he answered, he found Jason Mathews standing upon the porch, looking at his feet. This young man was becoming an almost regular guest in this house what with him showing up every couple of days. Either he was very determined to date Lily or he was just that bored.

"Sorry to bother you so early General Mustang," He began nervously.

Roy smirked and pocketed his hand. "May I ask you something Jason?"

"Uh, sure,"

"Do you live alone or with your family?"

Jason seemed overly nervous suddenly; even his hand trembled as he pushed his thin rimmed glasses up on his nose. "I-I live alone."

Roy nodded and stepped aside. Well that explained a few things, not many but he was starting to get a picture. "Lily isn't home yet, but you're welcome to come in and have breakfast with Riza and I."

"Well actually I came to ask if Mrs. Mustang was feeling better." Jason replied. "And thank you for the offer but I've got to get to work soon."

Interesting, if this young man was looking to court his daughter, he certainly was going about it in a good way; being kind enough to look in on her mother.

"Riza's doing a little better, thank you. Are you sure you won't come in; I know the zoo doesn't open for another two hours."

Jason smiled a little timidly as the phone rang. "Uh,"

"Roy it's Edward," Riza called. "I think something's wrong,"

Taking no expense in time, Roy pulled Jason inside and closed the door. "Just head into the dining room," He instructed and hurried to take up the phone.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"Dad I know what's wrong with Lily." Ed replied shakily, which usually meant trouble and his tone was one that spoke of shame and hurt. He'd heard that tone before and it scared him.

"What happened?" He asked calmly and listened. As Edward explained everything in detail to him, and better than he'd ever done so in any mission report, Roy began to feel cold all over, as if the blood was draining from his body to pool upon the floors beneath his feet and soaking into the wood.

He was quiet a long time before he wet his lips. "Dad?" Ed asked.

"I'm here Ed, how is she now?" Roy asked.

"Sleeping,"

Roy removed his glasses and pressed the back of his wrist upon his forehead. "Are you alright Ed?"

"Not really... if Al calls don't tell him yet, please."

"I won't," Roy replied. "I'll be there soon, just stay where you are."

"Lily wants to come home Dad," Ed said quietly. "I want to come home."

The General sighed, he didn't want them traveling alone, not with Lily injured and… suicidal and Edward in such a shocked state. "Edward,"

"Please, I'll watch her; I won't take my eyes off her. I just think we need to come home. It will take less time if we just come home."

"Be careful, we'll talk more about your trip to Kishuwa when you get home alright?" What else could he do? He wanted Lily home as fast as possible and making them wait for him… He should, he really should just drop everything and go get them.

Roy made up his mind, "I'll meet you half way. I don't care if you have to carry her, Ed, get her on the first train and meet me in East City, don't go any further is that clear?"

"Yes,"

"I mean it."

"I know, hurry I'm not sure what to say or do."

Ed's words made everything he'd said before truly sink in. Before it had just washed over his skin, chilling him, but now it soaked into his pores and caressed his bones. "Just stay with her, tell her," Roy paused. Even he wasn't sure what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind, "Tell her you love her, tell her I love her, her mother loves her, Al loves her, and what ever you do don't leave her alone for one moment."

Roy tried to still his hand as he slowly hung up the phone. He could not go into the dinning room and tell Riza this but he had too, she had a right to know. However she'd want to leave now but he didn't think she was well enough for a three day train ride, no she needed to be near Dr. Hiasen but he couldn't leave her alone. He'd have to call Maes, fill him in, and ask if Gracia could come and stay with Riza while he was gone.

He didn't even want to think or rationalize or even try to understand why this had happened, not at the moment, he'd have all the time he needed upon the train. So he headed for the dinning room and stood where his daughter's empty chair was. He paused a moment looking upon it. This one chair, Lily's chair, it could have been forever empty if…

He shook his head and put his glasses on again. "Riza I have meet Lily and Edward half way home, something's happened." He glanced at Jason indicating that he didn't want to discuss it in front of the young man.

"Are they alright?" Jason asked before Riza could.

"At the moment, no. I need to leave as soon as possible." He replied.

"Roy," Riza said with slight panic.

Jason rose. "I should go, would you tell Lily I'll look in on her when she returns?"

Roy nodded. "Of course, I think that might actually be a good idea." At this point he figured Lily was going to need everyone who cared about her to remind her of that very fact.

"I'll stop by before and after work everyday while you're gone to look in on Mrs. Mustang. Um…" Jason reached into his vest and pants pockets producing a pen and a small note pad. Quickly he scribbled down something and passed it to Riza. "That's where I can be reached at the Zoo and at home. Call anytime, for any reason."

"That's-" Riza began.

"Thank you Jason, I appreciate that," Roy interrupted. He wasn't taking anymore chances, not with anyone in this family. Hell he didn't even care if the boy was trying to win points or if he really was concerned, just as long as people were checking in upon his stubborn wife while he was torn in a different direction momentarily to retrieve his daughter and son.

Jason nodded and lifted his coat from the back of the chair he'd been sitting in and shrugged it on. "I'll show myself out,"

Roy said nothing, just moved to his wife's side.

"What is going on?" Riza demanded. "What happened to them?"

Roy pulled her close. "Lily almost… She almost killed herself-"

"_What?!" _Riza gasped, pulling away.

"It was an accident," Roy said quickly. "Ed got to her in time, with Logan's help of course." He'd not leave that fox out of the credit, not when he'd barked, alerting Ed of the danger. "She was cutting her leg,"

"Cutting?!"

The fear, hurt, and confusion in Riza's beautiful brown eyes stung in ways he never knew possible.

"Her legs, the doctor found scaring. This time she cut too deep and in the wrong place and sliced open the artery in her upper thigh."

"Dear god," Riza breathed. "We shouldn't have let her go, _shouldn't_ have let Edward take her. Roy is this-"

"No!" He barked. He'd never let Riza blame herself for this. There had to be more too it than them not telling the children what was going on. "I'll make her tell me everything before we get home. What ever you do, don't tell Alphonse if he calls. I don't want him rushing home to this and neither does Edward. We'll tell him, just not yet. I'm going to call Maes and have Gracia look in on you while I'm gone, but I have to go. Promise me you'll go to all your doctor's appointments and call someone when you feel sick."

Riza barely nodded but Roy didn't have any more time to discuss it further.

"Just bring them home Roy. _Bring her back_!"

Roy nodded noting the hint of anger in her voice.


	12. Chapter 10: A Promise

**A/N: Well I'm sorry this is so late and please forgive the meager edit. I recently got a job and coupled with college midterms and essays... Whew, I've been rather pooped.  
**

* * *

**Chapter ten: I Promise**

Lily stood, bracing herself upon the meager vanity in the small bathroom of the hospital room. Her leg hurt, she felt terribly weak, she felt utterly ashamed of what she'd done and almost couldn't breathe. She couldn't even look her brother or Izumi in the eyes this morning when she'd awoken.

Her pale face looked back at her and she could see it laughing, pointing a finger and calling her pathetic. She hated it and wished to scratch it out, mar it, make it go away. That wasn't her either and she didn't want to see…

"Lily?!" Ed called frantically. Suddenly the cracked door was yanked open. "What the hell are you doing out of bed?!" He snapped.

Lily sighed and lifted her hand to her face to touch the shadows beginning to form under her eyes. "If you want to yell-"

"Shut up," He snipped and slipped into the small bathroom behind her. She met his eyes in the mirror then looked away.

He sighed and stood behind her, placing his hands upon her hips so she could lean upon him. "I talked to Dad,"

She winced and very nearly cowered in the tiny corner behind the door.

"Since you're up I want you to get dressed. Izumi brought our things."

"Logan?" she whispered.

"He's in the waiting room with her." Ed replied.

Lily felt his warm hands upon her shoulders. "I'll carry you, you shouldn't be up, you might pull the stitches."

"It hurts,"

"Good," Ed said coldly. "May I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Do you want to die?"

Lily shook her head. "Not really,"

"Not really? What's that mean?"

Lily closed her eyes. A tear trickled down her cheek. "Sometimes I don't care if I do, sometimes I feel like I should have already, sometimes I wish I could trade my life to fix Mama. Then there are times I really want to hold on."

Ed was quiet a moment then turned her around gently. He lifted her chin. "What do you want now?"

Lily shook her head. "I don't know,"

"That's the most honest answer out of you I think I've gotten since I've been home." He took a deep breath and pulled her close. "I'm not going to lie to you, you've hurt us and we're all going to be angry with you. This… what you have been doing isn't okay Lily, but… But don't ever forget that we need you and love you."

Lily buried her face in his neck. "I'm sorry,"

He said nothing but kissed her head. Then slowly he pushed her away and gently lifted her. Lily clung to him as he carried her into the room and placed her upon the bed. "Can I even go home?"

"I spoke with the doctor, he didn't want you leaving yet but you're up and I got some medicine to make sure you don't get infection. We'll have to check in with Dr. Hiasen. He's already been called so there's no getting out of that, he even said he'd come to the house and hunt you down if he had too. I had to really talk the doctor into it, but we can go home. Dad's going to meet us halfway. Don't expect him to be happy to see you. You're in a lot of trouble."

Lily merely nodded and reached for her coat and pulled it close to her chest. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to feel this empty and useless and it was escalated more so than before. It made her want nothing more than to curl up and cry but she couldn't. Some how she felt if she did she'd only be in more trouble than she was and it made her angry, angrier than she'd ever felt in her entire life.

It was that anger that made her move, made her get dressed and pull her hair out of her face, but she said nothing to Edward, only thanked Izumi for letting them stay then apologized for all the trouble she'd caused the woman, and asked if she could return to her house long enough to clean up her mess. It must have caused Edward some sort of grief for he scooped her up and carried her away, Logan trotting behind him faithfully.

* * *

The train ride to East City was filled with silent obedience on Lily's part, something that only made Ed hurt. He didn't want her to be quiet and obedient. Yes, she was in a sizeable amount of trouble but damn it her silent obedience had put them in this very position. 

By the time they pulled into the station and placed her upon a bench to await their father, he was ready to smack her. She wouldn't even look him in the eye. It was disgusting.

* * *

Roy glanced at his pocket watch as his train neared East City. He didn't know what to feel anymore. On one hand he was scared and felt so guilty on the other he was furious. But he was so mixed up it just placed him in a foul mood all around and he just couldn't believe his daughter was capable of this! 

He'd thought and wondered if it was something he'd done or if all of them had done something wrong, or if it all stemmed from things that'd happened to her when she was a child or perhaps it was a combination of all of it and Lily was simply at the edge of breaking. He didn't want her to be there, he didn't ever want her to feel the ground giving way beneath her feet while looking down into the void of a great chasm with nothing to break her fall or save her.

He was relieved to find both his children waiting upon a bench an hour later when his train pulled in. He'd figured they'd arrive before him and he hoped the wait hadn't been too long, at the most half a day.

He slipped on to the platform, dressed in civilian clothing and hid himself within the crowd of people de-boarding so he could watch them a moment. Ed sat rigidly, holding Logan's leash. Lily was still, barely breathing, pale as a ghost, only moving her hand to stroke the fur of her fox companion who sat in her lap. Neither spoke, neither looked at each other, and neither moved to get up. It was a sad sight to see the two so silent together as if the weight of the world hung heavily upon them. It wasn't them.

Roy sighed and made his approach, trying to figure out what to say. In the end it wasn't what he figured would be helpful in any regard. "I've already got our tickets, let's go."

Ed moved, Lily moved and before Roy knew it Ed was carrying Lily toward the train, Logan following. He hurried after them. "We're in a privet car, number two."

Ed just nodded and stepped upon the train, heading for the car and Roy was thankful that people moved out of the way.

Once they were alone, Roy asked, "Have you eaten?"

Lily turned to the window, gaining a glare from Edward, which was a little disturbing.

"This morning," Ed replied.

Logan let out of soft bark, pawing at Lily's knee. She pat the seat beside her and commenced petting him as soon as he was settled.

Roy didn't like it, she had a mouth, she knew how to use it. "Lily,"

"I ate," she replied a little frigidly.

"Good, I want to see the cuts." He ordered.

That gained him her eyes. "No,"

Brow perked with annoyance, he sat forward and caught her chin in his hand. "_Now_, this isn't an option." Her eyes glazed over with the beginnings of tears, her face colored with embarrassment and hurt, and her body began to tremble, but he didn't let go.

Slowly, Lily lifted the hem of her skirt with trembling hands. Slowly he tore his eyes from hers. His breath hitched in his throat painfully and his heart ceased its beat when he saw the damage. Her left thigh was bruised and bandaged. For a moment he couldn't look anywhere else, swallowing hard. But in the end his dark eyes traveled to her right leg, found four little scars, scars that he knew he'd help to carry for the rest of his life inside his heart.

Gently, Roy let go of her chin and pulled her skirt down, then he took her shaking, slender hands in his. Showing him, hell lifting her skirt alone must have been so embarrassing, so difficult, and so uncomfortable. "I need to know why."

"Wouldn't you be happier with a lie, Daddy?"

Roy blinked in confusion, what was with her? Was she angry? "No, Lily I wouldn't be happier with a lie."

"Hm,"

"Listen," Ed tried. "We can't help or fix-"

"And what makes you think _I _need to be _fixed_?!" Lily snapped. "You _all_ think you know what's best for me!"

"Well what do you think is best for you?" Roy asked calmly and it was difficult.

Lily shifted her gaze back to the window.

"Lily I already told you, you're going to have to talk now. No more hiding." Ed tried. "Hiding is what got us here in the first place."

"There's no excuse for what I did, I know that." She replied almost numbly.

Well at least she knew that much but Roy still didn't have all of the answers he needed. He sat back and crossed one leg over the other. "I'm not entirely sure we can blame all of this on you. I think at least a portion of this rests with us." He caught her frown and knew this was definitely the way to start, to break this angered wall she'd built.

"Dad it was an accident,"

"I'm aware of that Edward, I believe you." Roy said softly. "All I want to know is why and why you felt you couldn't come to me?"

Ed sighed and sat back, looking at his hands and the small room fell silent except for the last boarding whistle in the station.

"Come on one of you has to tell me something."

"It's up to her," Ed muttered. "I can't speak for her and _I won't_."

Well it was clear that Lily wasn't ready. However ready or not, she'd tell him before this trip was over. "I have to tell Riza something, she'll want to know." Lily stiffened and from what it looked like, she tried to press herself into the red cushions of the seat, as if she were trying to disappear. It least _that_ had reached her.

The train pulled out of the station and soon Roy found himself watching the sun setting upon the horizon of the passing landscape. No one said a word, not through dinner, not all afternoon. With Edward finally nodding off and Lily seemingly so fascinated with watching the world pass her by, Roy rose and switched off the light.

When only the pale moon lit the small privet car, Roy removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He really didn't understand how anyone could ever get used to wearing these things.

He looked across the small space to watch his daughter. Somehow he felt as if he already knew what had driven her to such extremes and it made him ill.

"You don't have to be perfect or live up to me or Ed, Al, or Riza." He said softly. "You just have to be you, Poppet, that's all I've ever wanted or expected."

"That's a little difficult Daddy…"

"_Why_?" Finally, something from her mouth. "_Why_ is it so difficult to just be you?"

Her brows furrowed in slight confusion. "I don't know who I am; all I know is that I'm a shadow, a phantom."

"Shadow, phantom?" He wasn't following.

"Of you. I didn't mind when… I don't know when it happened, when it stopped being enough. I wanted to be just like you." She turned her gaze from the window. "But somewhere I lost me if there ever was me. I can't… can't feel anymore not the way I used to be able to. Things are so dull, so muted, and what I can feel," She shrugged. "It hurts. I'm confused about what to do."

"So you decided _cutting_ yourself was the best option available to you?!" He reminded himself that Edward was sleeping and he needed to stay hushed. "You could have come to me."

"No, I cut because it was something I could control. I decided how deep, how long, how much I bled, and I could feel brightly again. I felt alive, more alive than I felt just living through every day. It wasn't because I hated myself or that I was rebelling against you, I just wanted, no _needed_ something no one else could see or dictate, that I could control." She smirked. "But you don't ever have to worry about it again; I promised Edward I'd not do it again."

"Did you ever want to die? Is your life _so _unhappy Lily; have I failed you so badly?" He couldn't help but ask; he desperately needed to know and dreaded it. That saying of the truth hurts was more real and truer now than ever. All of this, he saw it as a marker that his world was coming to an end. Everything he'd worked for, everything he'd bled and sweat for and finally received was beginning its ashen crumbling before his very eyes. How was it two of the people that matter most to him could fall when he was fighting as hard as he could for them? Did _anything_ he do count for anything anymore?

"The only thing I hate about my life that has anything to do with you is that you and Mama can't trust me enough to tell me what is going on. That I have to go behind your back, hide in the house, speak with Dr. Hiasen myself, threaten the man, and eavesdrop to learn anything.

"I hate that I've researched and researched, dug through every book on human transmutation that I can find, snuck into the first branch library and into the top security alchemy sections. Read every medical book I could get my hands on, and even gone to Kishuwa just to find a doctor who died just weeks before and there is nothing I can do to help Mama. Nothing alchemically, nothing medically, **_nothing_** and _neither of you_ can be bothered to tell me what's wrong! That you continuously lie to my face and then have the nerve to be angry with me when I don't want to reply to certain questions."

She had done _what_?! Gone where?! _Human Transmutation_!

"What is the point of anything if I can't even… I'm scared and cold and I don't know what to do! Am I unhappy? Yes, Daddy I am. I'm miserable and can't _breathe_! I _never_ wanted to go to that ridiculous school, I never wanted to be like other girls, and I wish people would ask me, _really_ ask me if I do or don't want to do something."

So he'd unintentionally helped to suffocate her…? "Then why didn't you-"

"Because it was what _you_ wanted Daddy! I thought if I did what you wanted, made you happy, I'd be happy too."

So it all boiled down to her trying to be perfect for him. When was she ever going to learn to break that _damned_ habit, that stupid thought process?!

"It's not your fault, it's mine." She whispered and turned back to the window.

"Why… Why do you want to be like me?" he found himself asking. "Why do you want to be perfect for me or make me happy?"

Lily sighed, "Because you're my father and you've always kept your promises. You've always done what you've believed in and I love you."

That was all well and good, but… He didn't know. "Am I not paying you enough attention?"

"Don't be stupid Daddy, it's never been about gaining attention, if anything I have been trying to hide things from you but now you know."

"Come here," He motioned to her with his hand. Slowly she slipped from her seat and moved to sit beside him. "Careful Poppet," he whispered, making sure she didn't fall. Once seated he pulled her close.

"Riza,"

"I know, Ed and I overheard Dr. Hiasen telling you about the tumor. Ed and I went to Kishuwa to find Dr. Talbot. He's dead." She whispered softly. "I saw h-his grave. It was so cold Daddy. I wanted to cry but I couldn't, couldn't feel sad, couldn't…"

Roy sighed a long heavy sigh. He'd focus upon them for now and talk about her numbness later, when they'd had a chance to get home. "You shouldn't have had to hear it like that. She didn't want to tell any of you, didn't want you all scared for her." He smoothed down her hair and kissed her head. "We weren't trying to hurt you."

"I didn't want to hurt you either, I'm sorry Daddy," Roy felt her move her face into his shoulder, felt wetness through his shirt. "Can you ever forgive me?" Still seeking approval.

"Can you forgive Riza and I?"

Lily nodded.

"Then you have your answer." He breathed, gently rubbing her back. Still just a little girl. "Now we need to figure out what to do so this never happens again, but we can do that when we get home. For now, Poppet, just rest."

"I didn't mean to disappoint you Daddy." She whispered, sniffling.

Well that _stung_. Roy wet his lips and took a deep breath letting it out slowly. "We'll worry about it later," She winced and he hushed her, kissing her head. "It's okay Poppet, I'm here now, and you're safe." Her hands fisted in his shirt.

"It hurts Daddy, help me, _please_. I promise I'll be good. I won't hurt you again."

Roy closed his eyes and held on a little tighter. "Lily we'll get past this, I promise. It'll take some time, but we'll make it. Please just rest for now, for me?"

Her reply was shaky, "Okay,"

* * *

Roy was a might bit surprised when Lily didn't make a fuss about seeing Dr. Hiasen as soon as they arrived in Central the next evening. And she'd been so quiet, clingy even, more so than ever. Oh she knew she was in trouble, it was written all over her face, but she did not want him to stray out of reaching distance. 

Dr. Hiasen sighed as he finished looking at the self inflicted wound and gave it new dressings. "I'm not happy with you Lily; I thought you had more sense than this." He scolded.

"I'm sorry," She said softly.

"I would hope so, you could have died, what good would you do anyone dead?"

Roy didn't even attempt to intervene. He probably should but there was still a large part of him that was still angry with her. If she'd only come to him… But no, she had to be so much like him and keep people at arms length on very personal matters, well as he used to before he'd remarried and had her back in his life and adopted Edward and Alphonse. Riza and the boys never let him keep too much.

Hiasen went to a cabinet and pulled out some bandage supplies and wrote a prescription for more antibiotics. He also wanted Lily off her feet and in bed or at the very least on the sofa, she was not to walk around on her own until she was healed and she was to come in every few days to have the wound looked at. He also suggested that no one leave her alone for long periods of time. It wasn't so much that he thought she'd try again, for she swore she wouldn't and if any one who knew her, knew she was good on her promises, it was keep her company.

Roy agreed. He'd been focusing so much on Riza and things at the office to really keep Lily company and not asked her to spend any time with him in the evenings. That was probably most of the problem; everyone assumed she was fine and let her do her own thing, let her shut herself in her room and never really pushed to get anything out of her. No one really asked her anything, truly read her responses. That was going to change. She needed them, needed them to hear her, reach for her, and try to understand her.

On the way home Roy thought over what Edward had told him after Lily had fallen asleep upon the train, after he'd woken of course. He felt so guilty, so guilty for so many things and now Lily was lost. At least she'd asked for his help upon the train. It was better a little late than never.

* * *

Jason smiled, brining Riza a cup of tea. "Here you are Mrs. Mustang; I've fed the cats, Black Hyate, the fish, and Wynn as well." 

Riza nodded and motioned for him to take a seat upon the sofa. She didn't want to admit it since she was more than capable of taking care of herself, but she rather enjoyed having Jason's company in the last few days. He certainly was persistent, coming before going to work, on his lunch hour, and then as soon as he left work and spending all evening with her regardless if Gracia was here or not. But he'd been very… distracting to say the least. He kept her from fearing the worst.

"Thank you Jason,"

"They should be home soon." Jason said softly. "I hope everyone is alright. General Mustang looked so upset the other day."

Ah and there was the first of his hinting for her to tell him what this whole mess was about. She lifted her cup of tea to her lips, suppressing the nausea that'd plagued her all day and didn't respond. She didn't dare utter it for fear of making it become reality.

She loved Lily; she'd always loved her from the moment she'd first laid eyes upon her as an infant before she was taken away. She couldn't bear the thought of harm coming to her, of anything taking her away.

Jason lifted his head as a car pulled up in the drive way. "I bet that's them, I'll get the door." And he was gone before she could protest or really move herself, not that she really could. She'd become much weaker since her family had been away.

She could hear Jason open the door, could hear him greeting Logan and then Edward. The foyer fell silent as someone else stepped into the house. She assumed it was Roy and the door closed. There was a moment of silence before she heard Jason's voice. "Mrs. Mustang is in the living room,"

"Thank you Jason, how is she?" Roy asked.

"Roy!" She called, he could get an assessment on her later, she wanted, no needed to see her daughter right now!

There was a sigh but three sets of feet came into the living room followed by one beautiful Fox. However it wasn't Lily as the third set of feet, it was Jason. Roy carried their little girl in his arms and she looked so exhausted, so pale, and so very sad. Riza hated it instantly and even more so when Lily wouldn't look at her.

"Lily,"

"I'm… sorry Mama." She barely whispered.

Riza placed her tea upon the end table then held up her arms. Her husband came forward and gently placed Lily in her lap. It had been awhile but Riza would never, could never forget what it felt like to have Lily in her arms like this. She was a bit bigger now, but she felt the same, so small, so warm…

"Jason, why don't we go into the kitchen," Roy suggested and they left, but Edward stayed behind, taking a seat beside them.

"What happened?" Riza asked as calmly as she could, holding Lily tighter. Lily winced in her arms.

"I-I did a terrible thing." She replied, obviously knowing Riza wouldn't take the answer from Edward but from her lips only.

"Roy said you cut yourself," she helped.

Lily nodded.

Affirmation from Lily just made it concretely painful. She'd never expected Lily to be so unhappy as to harm herself. It made her furious and she found that she wished to slap Lily, shake some damned sense into her. However she held her anger in check. Lily was frightened enough at the moment, she didn't need to be yelled at.

"She promised to never do it again Mom," Ed said gently. "She doesn't break her promises."

Riza nodded. "I know Edward," She lifted Lily's chin so she could look her in the eyes, but Lily kept her eyes down in shame. "Look at me," she ordered.

It was slow in coming but her little girl finally lifted her beautiful eyes, eyes so like her father's to meet hers. A tear escaped them and Riza moved her hand just enough to wipe the tear away. "I am not happy with you but it doesn't the fact that I love you very much. I trust that you've learned enough to make such a strong promise to your brother?"

Lily nodded.

"Good, now I'm not going to yell or punish you. I think you've probably had enough of people yelling at you. I don't think I have to punish you, I think you know enough to realize that every action has its consequences, but know that if you ever do something to harm yourself again I will take the necessary actions to set you straight is that clear?"

"Yes Mama,"

Riza brushed Lily's bangs from her eyes then pulled her close and pet her hair. "I'm glad you're home, both of you. I've missed you."

Lily shifted her head and lifted her hand to rest upon her shoulder. "Missed you too Mama."

"How was she while I was gone?" Roy asked Jason.

Jason sighed, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Worried, but she mostly read and went over some paperwork. She stayed home from the office. A lot of people called, I kept a list for you but said nothing, not that I know anything."

Roy followed him with his eyes as Jason went to the icebox and pulled a slip of paper from the door and brought it to him. There were calls from the Hughes, a few of Lily's teachers, a girl from her school, and his subordinates. Aside from the calls, Jason sure was poking.

He sighed. "As you know I'm an alchemist and believe in equivalency or try to live that way, however, all I can say now is, ask Lily. It's a personal matter. As much as what's going on has angered me I can't betray her trust, especially not now. But could you wait to ask until tomorrow?"

Jason's brow furrowed and he lifted his hand to rub his forehead then adjusted his glasses. "I'll just let her tell me if she wants too… Is she alright?"

"Not really no, but now that she's home…" He could say anymore, he didn't dare incase he got his own hopes up.

"I understand. I'll just say goodnight and if you need anything give me a ring."

"Thank you," Roy replied and saw the young man out.

When he returned to the living room his heart gave a little tremor. He'd never seen anything so beautifully sad in his life. His sickly wife sat, holding his daughter in her lap with an arm around his son. If Alphonse were, he was sure the boy would be snuggled up with them, and all of them would look exhausted.

Clearing his throat, he slipped his hands into his pockets. "Edward, why don't you take your sister to bed? It's been a long day."

Edward said nothing, simply moved and scooped Lily from Riza's reluctant arms and headed up the stairs. Roy took this opportunity to sit beside his wife.

Riza sighed and was quiet a moment but Roy left her and the silence alone so that she may speak her mind if she wanted. He didn't have to wait long.

"How bad, I couldn't ask to see." Her voice trembled.

Roy gently took her hand, rubbing his thumb over the bones. "Not good, but she'll heal."

"A scar?"

He nodded, "Yeah, there are others, not as bad as this new one will be."

Riza's body shuddered. "Why? Why would she… Roy I need her, I need all of you, I'm losing my mind and now this!"

"Shhh," he hushed as he pulled her close. Having Riza admit to her failing health, her mortality broke his heart. This wasn't right, it wasn't natural! And he was powerless to stop it all. His life was crumbling before his very eyes and it was his life because he lived for people in it! Didn't they know when they faltered he faltered? Didn't they know when they broke, he broke. It was so hard to stand strong when the very pillars and foundations he stood upon cracked and waned.

"Everything will be alright honey. She didn't do it to hurt us; she just needed some way of dealing with her pain, helplessness, and confusion. It was wrong she knows that but she never once wanted to hurt us or end her own life."

"Is she'd only come to us-" Riza cried.

"I know, I know." He whispered, stroking her lovely, soft blonde hair, hair she'd left down for the day.

"Edward?" Lily whispered.

Ed stood still upon the stairs. He wanted her to see this, see what she'd done. He wanted her to feel the extent of her actions. It was a hateful thing, he knew. And he knew it probably wouldn't help his little sister in the long run only bring her more pain, but he wanted her to see and hoped it would serve as a lesson to her.

When their parents feel silent and the only thing they could hear was Riza's soft sobbing, he moved up the rest of the staircase and went to Lily's bedroom. Logan was there waiting upon the bed as was Runa, who was playing with Logan's tail.

Carefully, gently, Edward placed Lily upon the bed and helped her change from her travel clothes into her night gown. There was something about seeing his little sister in just her undergarments that made him uncomfortable but it didn't really bother him as much as it should have, not when she needed his help. He just hoped this sort of situation would never arise again.

Before he could tuck her in, he had to move the kitten to the floor and Logan followed, surprisingly. He really was a good animal companion, had great senses. But just as gently and careful as he placed Lily upon the bed, he pulled the blankets up to her shoulders.

He turned to leave but Lily caught his shirt sleeve. "Please big brother, don't leave me. I don't want to be alone anymore."

Ed swallowed and moved his hand so he could clasp hers. "You were never alone to begin with Lily."

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"I am too."

"Tell me," she asked.

Ed sat upon her bed but stared at the wall. It was hard for him to admit to what he was truly feeling, it had never been easy.

"I feel like…" He scratched his head. It was very hard to say. "Truth is, when I saw Izumi's bathroom and you sitting there and all that blood… And Riza… Lily I don't want to bury anymore family, not yet, not for a long time. I don't want Al to lose the two of you either. He needs us all even if he doesn't say it. Hell, I need all of us. And I can't keep Dad together by myself and I need Roy! I need that bastard to be my Dad, to be my friend, and my commanding officer. I need you to be my friend and little sister. I need Mom and Al too and _damn it_, I need someone to be around to find me when I'm lost!"

He heard Lily sniffle, felt her shift in the bed, and then he felt her small arms around his shoulders and her face pressed against his neck. He could feel her tears and warm breath too which only made this seem harder.

"Are you lost big brother?"

"Yes," Ed breathed before he could stop himself. He wasn't supposed to admit to weakness and doubts like these. He was the older brother, supposed to protect Lily and Al, take the brunt of everything.

"Then," Lily paused to sniffle. "I'll find you just like you found me. If we promise to find each other then we'll both feel safe when we're lost, have some hope. I swear I'll never let you down again Edward."

Ed felt a tear roll down his cheek as he closed his eyes. It was a big promise for someone who didn't know if they wanted to live or die at times but it was one he needed and he knew she'd be good and true to her word. She always kept her promises come hell or high water.

He turned and caught her face in the palms of his hands. "I promise you too." He kissed her forehead and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I'm just going to go change, then I'll be back okay?"

Lily nodded with a small smile.

"Good and make sure you move your ass over, I'm not sleeping on the edge of the damned bed."

"'K" she replied and let her arms fall to the bed, moving over for him.


End file.
